


Stranger in a Strange Land

by Dammit_Jim



Category: Stargate Universe
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Happy Ending, M/M, Mental Instability, Panic Attacks, Parallel Universes, Slow Build, Some humour, a little fluff, alternative universe, forgive my dubious science please (I'm a writer not an astrophysicist), messing about with the space/time continuum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-03 19:46:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 46,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5304461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dammit_Jim/pseuds/Dammit_Jim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An accident occurs and Rush swaps places with his counterpart from another Universe. There he discovers that he and Young are married. As a result Rush and Young find themselves re-evaluating their relationship, and beginning a journey of self-reinvention, whilst also dealing with the repercussions of the universe-swap, on Destiny and its crew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I will be swapping between Universes, to show both Rush's experiences, and how the rest of the crew deal with the outcome of the situation. This will be indicated with:  
> CU = Canon Universe  
> AU = Alternative Universe
> 
> I have no excuse for this. I couldn’t stop laughing at the thought of Young’s reaction to finding out that in at least one universe he was married to Rush…and then this sort of exploded into a full-blown fic and whoops I have other commitments but Stargate has stollen my life so…ENJOY.

~ CU ~

There was a rumbling crackle as sparks flew across the gate-room, which shook with a booming sound that reverberated off of the walls. After a couple of clicks the gate locked in the last chevron and the event horizon exploded into its blue-water existence.

That had not been the normal gate-dial. If the shaking and sparks weren’t evidence enough Colonel Young took Eli’s nervous expression as a confirming indicator.

A moment later Rush flew through the gate and landed on the floor with a grunt.

“TJ, medical assistance in the gate-room!” Young ordered over the radio, as he approached Rush.

Despite being thrown across the room Rush looked undamaged. It didn’t look like he’d just escaped an explosion or anything of that nature.

Rush grunted, and pushed himself up onto his knees, “There’s no need,” he assured.

Young didn’t call TJ back. He wasn’t taking any chances.

Rush blinked, and ran a hand through his hair, pushing himself up to stand. He stumbled, almost fell and Young caught him by the arm.

“You okay?” he asked, expecting a snarky response.

Rush shot him a grin, “Absolutely fine, Everett.”

Young frowned, and for a moment was so taken aback he didn’t even think to let go of the man.

Rush ran a hand across his face, “I have no idea what the bloody hell just happened but you won’t catch me going back through any time soon,” he laughed.

Young stared, and thought he might be concussed. Yes, that had to be it. Then Rush locked eyes with him and at Young’s hesitancy frowned, before giving him a questioning look and raising a hand to cup his face.

Young flinched and pulled back immediately, grabbing his radio, “TJ?”

Rush grimaced, “What?” he demanded, “What’s wrong?” 

Young watched Rush, noticing the way the man glared at the distance between them as if it offended him, at the confusion splayed across his face when he took in the shocked expressions of the others in the room, at the slow tightening of the muscles at his shoulder as tension built there. Young had heard a lot of strange accounts from SG1’s field notes and a lot of them he struggled to believe. They suddenly seemed far more reasonable than what was happening right now.

When TJ arrived Rush turned to her and threw up his hands, “I don’t know why they called you here, Tamara, I’m fine.”

She stared at him too. At least, Young thought, he wasn’t just seeing things.

“Why is everyone looking at me like I’ve grown two heads?” Rush growled, “I’m fine!”

“I think I should take you to the Infirmary, Doctor Rush,” TJ answered.

Young placed a hand on his arm, and the look of sudden relief that warmed Rush’s features was overwhelming. Young couldn’t help grimacing. Rush looked at him like he…like he shouldn’t and Young pulled away again, feeling spooked.

“Scott!” he called, “Escort Doctor Rush to the Medical Bay and make sure he does not leave until TJ has cleared him.”

“Everett?” Rush asked, attempting to move toward him once more.

The desperate plea in Rush’s eyes looked alien on his face, and the fact that the look had settled on him, of all people, deeply unnerved Young.

“If you have to do it at gun point…” He added, expecting Rush to resist.

“Yes, Colonel,” Scott answered, pulling out his gun just as Rush’s face contorted in rage.

“What the fuck is going on, Everett?” he exclaimed, attempting to throw himself at him.

Scott caught him by the arm and pulled him back, raising his gun, “Come on Rush.”

Rush pulled away from Scott in anger, and then looked back to Young, “If this is some kind of joke. I’m going to fucking kill you,” he growled, though there was more hurt than venom in the tone.

~ AU ~

There had been no rush through the gate and yet he’d been thrown across the room. For a moment he felt dizzy, and when he groaned and tried to sit up hands met his arms and helped him.

“I’m fine,” he grumbled, trying to push the hands away.

Young held fast, “You’re not bloody fine, you just flew out of the gate!”

Rush looked up in confusion at the worried tone, and found Young staring at him. That was when Rush noticed the colonel’s hands were still on his arms. He pulled back but this only seemed to upset Young further. How odd, he thought.

“I’m fine,” he assured, wondering why the hell he was having to reassure the Colonel, “It must have just been an overload in power.”

Young smiled at him, “You’re an idiot.”

Rush frowned at the fond tone. Something was wrong. He looked about the gate room and found Eli, Scott and Greer watching them with an air of…was that amusement? Something was definitely fucking wrong.

“What’s going on?” he demanded.

Young stepped forward, and attempted to place a hand on Rush’s arm, “What do you mean, Nicholas?”

As much as Rush wanted to pull away from the touch he didn’t. Something was wrong. He didn’t know what yet but this was _not_ the Colonel Young he knew. Perhaps they were aliens? Perhaps he had been captured and this was all a trick. His only defence was to pretend he saw nothing wrong with these impostors and then get away from them as fast as he could.

“Maybe we should get you checked up in the Infirmary,” Young offered.

The Colonel’s hand traveled up his arm, to his neck. Rush was about to pull away, unsure of what this was, if it was some kind of attack…when suddenly Young hooked his hand around the back of his neck and pulled him close, touching their foreheads together. Rush couldn’t help flinching.

“I missed you.”

Rush took that moment of distraction to unhook Young’s gun from its holster and flick the safety off before pulling Young forwards and holding a gun to his head. Everyone in the room froze and stared at Rush in shock. Scott and Greer, as if they hadn’t ever expected anything like this, hadn’t pulled out their guns or made a move at all. Rush found this almost as unsettling as Not-Young’s apparent…fondness for him.

“Explain to me exactly what is going on or I’ll shoot this man.”

“Nicholas-”

“ _Shut up_ ,” Rush growled, pushing the nozzle of the gun into Young’s neck.

“Doc think this through. That’s the Colonel there,” Greer said, stepping forwards slowly.

Scott was right behind him, “You know, our commanding officer…your…”

“Stop!” Rush ordered.

They all did.

“Who are you?” he demanded.

“Ah Rush,” Eli waved to get his attention, “You know us.” he said in concern, “I’m Eli, kid genius. You pretend like you don’t like me but I know for a fact that you actually do. I cracked the nine chevron from a game - which I’m still really confused about by the way, and think was a dumb idea but _hey_ it got me here - well actually I wish it hadn’t…”

“Eli!” Rush warned.

Eli visibly relaxed at the familiar tone of exasperation, as if the whole goal of his rambling had been to illicit that exact response, “ _Anyway_ , that’s Scott, Colonel Young’s second in charge, Chloe’s boyfriend, and that’s Greer.”

Greer gave him a frown, “Don’t I get an explanation?”

Eli shrugged, “I didn’t think you needed one.”

Greer tried to hide the smile.

“What the hell is going on?” Rush growled, angry that none of them were taking this seriously, that they either were too powerful to see him as a threat, didn’t think he was serious, or Not-Young wasn’t worth the effort.

“Nicholas-” Young tried again.

“ _Stop_ calling me that,” Rush warned.

“Why?”

“Because you don’t call me that!”

The doors to the gate room opened. Young took that moment of distraction to unhook himself from Rush’s hold on him, dislodge the gun from his grip and tackle him to the floor.

“Get the fuck off me!”

TJ stepped into view, “I heard all of it through the radio,” TJ said, staring at Rush in concern before kneeling down beside him and pulling out a syringe from her med-bag.

“No!” he exclaimed, fighting against Young’s hold on him, “No, no! Fuck. don’t!”

But she’d already emptied the sedative into his arm.

“ _Fuck…_ ”

“What happened?” TJ asked, and her voice seemed far, far away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“You’re not Colonel Young.”_
> 
> _“And what makes you say that?”_
> 
> _Rush struggled against the bindings TJ had been forced to use on him._
> 
> _“Well for one thing you’re holding my fucking hand!” he growled..._

~ CU ~

Whatever the hell had happened on that planet it had done something to Rush. He couldn’t understand how Rush was the only one acting up, though. Scott and Greer had come through the gate immediately before him. Whatever had happened it had to have happened during that brief moment the gate went offline, before they’d managed to dial it up again.

Young had been avoiding the Medical Bay since Rush had been brought in. The look the doctor had given him had been extremely worrying. As if Rush’s memories of him had been reset to the first day on Icarus Base once more, when Rush still talked to him in his friendly, though possibly fake, tone; when he still smiled, and hid whatever dislike, annoyance or displeasure from his superior officers as if in fear of having his clearance stripped from him. His behaviour on Destiny wouldn’t have sat well with Stargate Command after all. But for Rush to act like that old self here on Destiny? Young would have put it down to Rush’s old tricks, to the man wanting something. But not like this…not straight after a mission.

This wasn’t the Rush that had gone through the gate. Perhaps, it wasn’t Rush at all.

 _“Lieutenant Johansen to Colonel Young,”_ his radio went off.

“Colonel Young here?”

_“I can’t find anything physically wrong with Rush…and…well…he won’t stop asking for you.”_

Young sighed, “I’ll be there soon,” he answered, turning in the direction of the Medical Bay.

When Young arrived TJ gave him a shrug, “He seems to be alright,” she whispered, “He knows who he is, and where he is…but…”

“But what?” Young asked.

TJ frowned, “He’s still very confused, and he keeps talking about…things, oddly.”

Young nodded, “Okay, TJ, get back to your own work I’ll have a talk with him.”

She looked torn for a moment, before nodding and giving him a sympathetic look.

As he walked through the Infirmary to Rush’s gurney he tried to gage what the look might have meant. He guessed he’d soon find out. Rush looked up as Young approached and god the look of hopefulness in his eyes was staggeringly painful. Young was hit with a sudden feeling of unease…like he was looking at only a part of Rush…like the rest of him were missing.

“I gather you still think there’s something wrong with me,” Rush grimaced.

Young leant against the gurney opposite and crossed his arms, “You’re not acting like your usual self.”

Rush rubbed a hand across his face, “And you’re not acting like your normal self, either,” he said, exasperatedly, “No one is in fact. Everyone is…” he dropped his hand, frowning, “Acting like I might blow something up.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time.”

Rush shot him a shocked look, and Young was forced to look away.

“Have you read any of the scientific journals of Dr Jackson?”

Young turned back to him, frowning, and wondering where Rush was going with this. 

“I have,” he answered, unsurely.

“What about the one in which Jackson claimed he had traveled to a parallel reality?”

“It was standard reading,” Young answered, “He went to an alternative reality in which Earth was under attack from the Goa’uld.” Young paused, “…You think you’re from an alternative universe?” he asked.

Rush nodded, “It’s the only explanation. That or you’re all aliens and this is some kind of abduction scheme to gain information from me.” Rush continued to talk, gesturing around himself in an uncharacteristically calm manner. “Seeing as you’ve yet to ask me any important questions - like how Destiny runs or how best to disable the shields - I’m going to assume that you’re you…but not… _my_ you.”

Young grimaced at Rush’s choice of words. 

“It’s happened, before,” Rush said, before pausing, “In this universe did we find two kinos with two sets of footage from alternative timelines?”

“Yeah, we did,” Young said, “But that doesn’t…” he sighed, “Okay, so, hypothetically, if you’re from another universe then where is…” he paused, “The Rush from this universe?”

“We probably swapped places.”

“Why are you so convinced that this is an alternative reality?” Young asked, exasperatedly.

Rush’s right hand went instinctively to his left, and he played with the ring there, “Because in my universe…” Rush watched him carefully, “We’re married.”

~ AU ~

“You’re not Colonel Young.”

“And what makes you say that?”

Rush struggled against the bindings TJ had been forced to use on him.

“Well for one thing you’re holding my fucking hand!” he growled, “Which I demand that you stop doing right the fuck now.”

Young looked torn between ignoring him and giving in. He, _thankfully_ , gave in and pulled away.

“There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with him,” TJ said.

Young grimaced, “He feels abnormally warm, and he’s sweating…”

“He has an increased heart-rate too,” TJ explained, “But I think he’s having a panic attack.”

“You think!?” Rush growled, before being suddenly distracted by the room’s new arrival.

“Mama?”

Rush stopped struggling and stared down at the child, “Who the hell is that?” he demanded.

“What’s going on?” the little girl asked.

TJ dropped down to the girl’s eye-level, “Carmen go wait outside, okay?”

“Carmen?!” Rush spluttered.

The little girl’s eyes shot up to meet his, “What’s wrong with Uncle Nick?”

Rush stared as TJ reassured the little girl, and then gave Young a reluctant look.

“Go TJ,” Young said, “Look after your daughter. I’ll have a talk with Nicholas.”

She nodded, giving the both of them a sympathetic look, before leaving the Infirmary.

Rush frowned, “Daughter?”

Young sat down on the gurney beside him and gave him a look of concern, “Yes, her daughter. You don’t recognise Carmen?”

“No!” Rush snapped, “Because there is no little girl on Destiny.”

“She was born on Destiny, you don’t remember that?”

“She’s what eight? We haven’t been on Destiny that long,” Rush growled.

“We’ve been on Destiny ten years now.”

Rush stared, “What?”

“You don’t remember?”

“It’s not that I don’t remember,” Rush said, “It’s that this never happened.” 

He lay back on the bed, and stared at the ceiling, running through his mind all the possible explanations. They hadn’t attempted to gain anything of importance from him. They hadn’t asked about Destiny’s systems. It had to be something else. Something like alternative timelines…Like that kino footage they found once…alternative realities, like what Dr Jackson had claimed. That was it. It was the only explanation.

“This has to be an alternative universe.”

“What?” Young asked.

“I’m in an alternative universe,” Rush repeated, far more surely, “It’s the only logical explanation.”

Young watched him with a look of amusement, “Oh really?”

Rush grimaced, “Please stop doing that.”

“Doing what?” Young asked, crossing his arms and smiling.

“Looking at me…like you… _like_ me.”

Young’s smile disappeared and Rush saw his jaw visibly clench. He turned away and sighed after a moment, “Would you let me out of this now. I promise not to shoot you,” it was meant as a joke but Rush supposed it was a fairly poor one as only half an hour ago he had threatened to do just that.

Young released him, anyway.

Rush sat up, and stretched, massaging his aching shoulder, “So, Carmen is your daughter?”

“What?” Young laughed, “No, she’s TJ and Varro’s…” but the humour was gone almost immediately as he stared at Rush, “You really didn’t know that?”

Rush frowned, surprised by the reaction, “No, I didn’t.” 

He sighed, looking about the Infirmary, trying to find some other indication that this _was_ as he suspected an alternative universe. Everything looked the same, though. But it wasn’t. People weren’t the same. This Young acted very differently towards him, less suspicious, more trusting, more tolerant, more kind…as if he cared about him.

“So I gather we’re friends in this universe,” he said.

Young stared at him, “You could say that,” he answered, inconspicuously moving his right hand to cover the ring on his finger.

Rush froze. _Oh fucking hell._ He really hoped he was wrong. “You’re married,” Rush noticed, indicating to the ring.

Young nodded, “I am.”

“To whom?”

Young gave a long, tired sigh, and gestured to him.

“You have got to be _fucking_ joking.”

~ CU ~

“You’ve got to be joking.”

“I’m not,” Rush replied, sincerely. 

Young stared at Rush, at the ring on his finger, at the lack of dark rings under his eyes, at his calmness. He thought about what the man had said about parallel universes and he wondered how the fuck they’d ever fallen in…I mean really? Him and Rush? Together? MARRIED? Even in a parallel universe it seemed ridiculous. 

Young took a deep breath, and crossed his arms once more, feeling vulnerable under the scrutiny of this _other_ Rush’s gaze, “So, then, in your reality how did we meet?”

“You walked in, quite rudely, might I add, on my interview with Dr Jackson.”

Young frowned, “Really?”

Rush nodded, “You were late, you were meant to accompany him to my lecture hall at 9am and ended up walking in on that interview.”

“I remember that day,” Young paused, “It happened differently here. I called in sick. Dr Jackson ended up meeting you alone.”

“Well in my universe you were simply late,” Rush said, “Dr Jackson actually introduced us. He claims even to this day that he could tell we were going to end up dating.” Rush smiled, as if the memory were a good one.

Young looked away, feeling as if he was seeing something private, something the real Rush wouldn’t want him to see. God, ‘real’ Rush? This man was just as ‘real’ as the other Rush…he was just different, happier.

“You can’t have liked me straight away,” Young said.

Rush smirked, “Course not, you were rude, and you just walked in on _my_ moment.”

Young laughed, he could imagine that. He could imagine the look of utter disgust Rush would have given him, the twitch in his fake-smile as he shook his hand. He could imagine the rushed dismissal of any apology he might have attempted to give him.

“But afterwards you offered to buy me coffee and…” he shrugged, “I hadn’t had any that day so against my better judgement, I said yes.”

“And then we started…” he trailed off, unable to actually say the word ‘date’.

Rush looked visibly disappointed at the fact Young really didn’t know what had happened, “Of course not, you’ve met me. I’m stubborn as hell,” he shrugged, “But you kept buying me coffee and we got to know one another.” Rush smiled, “You helped me through some difficult times. And…eventually you started taking me to the opera instead of the cafe, even though you didn’t like classical music at the time…”

Good lord he had to be dreaming, surely? This couldn’t be real. - Also, who knew, coffee and classical music was the way into Rush’s heart? - But seriously? _He_ had been the one to chase after the other? Young didn’t know how to respond to anything Rush was saying.

“I gather from your shock that things happened very differently here?” Rush asked.

Young nodded, “God, yeah, we met only about six months before we dialled the ninth chevron. You’d been working at Stargate Command for a long time by then.”

Rush nodded, “And when we met?”

“You hated me…you still hate me,” and maybe he shouldn’t have said that last part because Rush suddenly looked furious.

“Hey,” Young raised a hand, “It’s fine. I’m okay with it…” he had attempted to be reassuring but from the sad look Rush gave him he gathered he’d done the exact opposite. _Damn._

Rush clenched his hands into fists, “So in this universe we hate each other?”

“I don’t hate you, Rush,” Young said, looking away incase he saw that rekindled hope in Rush’s eyes, “I just…find you difficult to handle sometimes…difficult to understand. We never really got the chance to get to know one another here.”

“Everything makes more sense now,” Rush grimaced, “Everyone’s reactions…your reaction…” he sighed.

Young looked up to find that Rush had calmed down somewhat. He was relieved to see that. God, this Rush was so different! He was calmer, nicer, but he still had that same tendency to be quick to anger, to feel so strongly about things.

“What about…” _Damn_ his mouth. _Think before you speak, think before you speak, think before you damn well speak._

“What about what?” Rush asked, suddenly uptight again.

Young licked his lips, “It doesn’t matter, Rush, I-” he tried to think of something else, anything else he could come up with and lie to Rush about but he couldn’t think of anything convincing…

“Everett,” Rush warned.

Young winced at Rush’s use of his first name. He sighed, “What about my wife? What about your…wife?”

Rush frowned, “In my universe you were never married to anyone but me.”

“…Right,” Young nodded, “Okay.”

“And by my wife…I assume you mean Gloria?” Rush asked, frowning, “Is she…is she alive here?” he asked.

Young shook his head, “No,” he said gently, “I’m sorry.”

Rush sighed, “Yeah, well,” he looked at his hands, “I wouldn’t be at Stargate Command in this universe if she were.”

“That’s why you joined?”

Rush nodded, “I knew I wasn’t going to discover anything in time to save her but I thought…I thought that if I unlocked the ninth chevron then maybe…maybe we might learn something that could change our perception of medicine…of science…of anything.”

“And that’s the difficult time I helped you through?” Young asked, “Your wife’s death?”

Rush nodded.

Young ran a hand through his hair, feeling as if the whole situation wasn’t so unbelievable after all. God, it was weird. If he thought about the man sitting in front of him as someone else, someone other than the Rush of this universe then it was easier to make sense of things. Other-Rush and Other-Young had met in a completely different circumstance and that had been the catalyst for a series of events that resulted in the two of them dating. If he looked at it in that way…it made sense…sort of.

“So it was other-me who helped you through that time rather than Dr Amanda Perry?”

“Who?” Rush asked, looking confused.

“A very kind woman,” Young replied, “Who seems to understand you better than anyone I know.”

“And she’s here on this ship?” Rush asked.

Young shook his head, “No,” he decided then and there he wouldn’t tell this Rush of her death, “You’re…”

“Alone,” Rush finished for him, looking down at his hands, “Yeah,” he sighed, “From what you’ve been telling me, it sounds like it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the new chapter, once they get longer I'll stick to one universe per chapter but for now enjoy both. Please leave a comment and tell me what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“You said…you seemed surprised that me and the…other-you loved each other."_
> 
> _“Well, yes,” Rush ran a hand through his hair, letting out a sigh, “You hate me.”_

~ AU ~

Rush couldn’t believe what he had just heard. He and…Colonel Young? Together? That was…fucking weird to say the least. He paced his room - his and Colonel Young’s room - though, thank God the Colonel had allowed him to have it all to himself until everything was sorted out. God, he was angry. Why was he angry? He felt jittery, impatient, confused…hurt. He didn’t understand why. Everything was wrong in this world. Everything was wrong. God.

His pacing was interrupted by a knock on the door.

He stepped over to it and pressed the button. It opened to reveal…Colonel Young, and his stupid fucking sympathetic face. Rush grimaced and turned away.

“Hey,” Young said, stepping inside, “How’re you feeling?”

“How does it fucking look like I’m feeling?” he demanded, throwing up his hands.

“Nicholas-”

“ _Stop_ calling me that!”

Young looked away, “I’m sorry, it’s difficult…you understand.”

“Oh, I understand,” Rush answered.

“You said…you seemed surprised that me and the…other-you loved each other.”

“Well, yes,” Rush ran a hand through his hair, letting out a sigh, “You hate me.”

“What?” Young asked, “Why?”

“Because I’m the one who got us stuck on Destiny.”

Young raised an eyebrow, “You, technically, got us stuck on Destiny in this universe too but I don’t hate you for it.”

“Yes, _well_ you’re not…” Rush sighed, “Him.”

“Are you sure he hates you?” Young asked, taking a step forward, “I can’t imagine ever…”

Rush grimaced, “Well he’s tried to kill me several times.”

“What?” Young exclaimed, closing the distance between them to raise a hand as if to check Rush for any wounds.

Rush flinched away instinctually and hit the wall behind him. He covered his unease by crossing his arms and rolling his eyes, “Oh don’t be like _that_ …I forgave you.”

“Oh god, Nicholas…”

He made the mistake of looking up and meeting Young’s gaze. He froze. The sadness in those eyes, the pain…for him…for what he’d gone through. He looked away but that was it - it was like his internal clock had been knocked out of place. He suddenly had to concentrate to keep breathing…to breathe correctly…to…remember how to…and it only escalated. He’d forgotten how to breathe. He couldn’t…he couldn’t fucking breathe, dear god. How do you breathe? His hands were beginning to shake, his face burning up, his heart wouldn’t slow down. Fuck fuck fuck. _Fuck_.

“Nick?” Young asked, “Nick you’re alright, just breathe.”

He was suddenly sitting on the bed. He felt dizzy. The walls were closing in on him. He needed to breathe but he couldn’t remember how. He couldn’t fucking remember how.

“Nicholas, look at me,” Young told him, “With me. Breathe with me.”

Young took a deep breath in, and then out. In, and then out. Loudly, so that Rush could hear it as well as see it. Rush followed suit, copying him, and god he could breathe again. He was fine. He was going to be fine. After a moment he tried to breathe by himself but then his heart started racing again. He couldn’t get the rhythm right. He couldn’t-

Young’s hand went up to his face, “No, keep going, keep copying me.”

Young continued to breathe loudly and slowly and Rush copied him.

“I’m going to leave your side just for a moment but I’m not leaving the room,” Young told him, “Don’t worry.”

Rush nodded.

Young got up and walked away.

Rush stared at the ground, listening to Young’s exaggerated breathing, and copying it. He didn’t attempt to uncloud his mind. He knew that if he forced it he would be incapacitated for even longer than he would be normally.

Music started to play.

Rush froze, and for a moment he couldn’t hear Young’s breathing over the sound of violin. Then Young returned to his side, and sat beside him. He was listening to classical music. Beautiful fucking classical music. God, how long had it been? He hadn’t listened to any since they’d arrived on Destiny. All of his CDs had been left behind…God, it had been so long…He couldn’t help it, he thought of Gloria, of his piano back home, of all the family Destiny’s crew had left behind, of all the mistakes he’d run from, of all the things Destiny’s mission was meant to fix, of all the people who’d died along the way, of Mandy. He began to cry.

“Hey,” Young lay a hand across Rush’s shoulder and pulled him close, “Hey, it’s alright.”

He froze in Young’s arms, before he finally managed to think a clear thought and realise that it was Colonel Young holding him. 

He shoved the Colonel away and shuddered, “Don’t.”

Young got to his feet and looked down at him, “I know this is all strange,” Young said, “And different. But don’t worry, we’ll work this all.”

Rush scoffed, and looked away, trying to control the shivers of panic wracking his body.

“You’re not my Nicholas Rush but you’re a Nicholas Rush, and to me that’s almost as good as,” he said gently, “It’s going to be odd but…I’d like to help you, Nicholas, if you’ll let me.”

Rush didn’t respond.

“I’ll let you sleep, okay. You’re free to roam the ship if you want to. I made sure TJ won’t bother you.”

Rush nodded, “Thanks,” he managed, catching the smile Young gave him before he stepped through the doorway.

As soon as Young was gone Rush stood up and began pacing again, trying to calm his nerves. He knew, logically, that this strange world had to be a parallel universe but he still felt like Alice in fucking Wonderland. He walked over to his - other Rush’s - desk and began rifling through his documents. He found what he was looking for under a pile of diagrams. His - other Rush’s - notepad. He flicked it open, and the yellow sticky-note that had been the bookmark slipped from the pages, floating down to the floor. Rush stooped to pick it up and was about to throw it on the desk when what was written on it caught his eye.

_Don’t stay up too late, genius.  
Love you Xoxo_

He held the note in the palm of his shaking hand and fought the urge to crush it into a ball. He didn’t feel anything as he stared at it. He just knew he wanted to crush it, to destroy it. He knew it shouldn’t exist. That it was wrong. But he didn’t destroy it. Instead, he gingerly placed the note down on the table and turned away, going back to the notepad he had in his hands.

He flicked through a couple of pages, working out where other-he was up to in understanding and fixing Destiny’s systems. There were at least a dozen pages of notes he didn’t understand - this both worried and excited him. He took out his own notepad and began copying the information. Once he was done he stuffed his notepad back into his pocket and threw the other one onto the desk.

There was no fucking way he was going to sleep, let alone sleep soundly, so he went to the bathroom, threw some water on his face and punched the button for his door. He peaked out, making sure Young hadn’t posted any guards - thank fuck he hadn’t - then he stepped out into the hallway and hurriedly walked in the direction of the Research Lab. When he arrived he found Eli working at the consoles.

Eli looked up and smiled, “Heya.”

“What are you working on?”

“Well aren’t you chipper today?” Eli made a face, “You know other-you would at least have given me a smile and a good morning.”

“Good morning,” Rush raised an eyebrow at him, “What are you working on?”

“No smile?”

“Eli,” he warned.

Eli smirked, “Fine, okay, he wouldn’t…” he raised his hands, “Caught me. I’m just having a look at the star systems ahead. We have a couple of interesting planets coming up…”

Rush pulled out his notebook, and began working through the ship’s database.

“What’re you doing?” Eli asked.

“Observing the differences.”

Eli smirked, “Oh god, don’t get me started on the differences!” he walked over to Rush and prodded him in the side, “You know what? At first I couldn’t really tell with you but now that I see it you don’t just sound different. You look different too. A little scrawnier, a little rougher. Our Rush shaves more often, and his hair’s neater. You also look so much more tired, don’t you ever sleep? Well I guess the Colonel isn’t there to order you to bed and all, or to give you an incentive to go-”

“Eli, I am trying to work,” he growled.

Eli paused, “Well, now, that’s something that isn’t different.” But thankfully after that Eli left him alone.

Rush worked through the database, found several differences, several planets this Destiny had been to that theirs had not. He discovered some computer malfunctions in the Control Interface Room, as well as coding errors in the Research Lab’s equipment. In his universe both these issues were due to Eli’s rushed reprogramming and Volker’s insistence in helping, and he had already solved them. There were additional things that needed fixing but there were also things that were fine, which had been broken in his universe. It seemed his time wouldn’t be wasted after all. He could discover as much as he could about this Destiny so he could improve the other Destiny once he returned.

Rush was so distracted by the information he was reading that he didn’t notice that Eli and he were no longer alone. It was only Eli’s excited explanation which drew his attention enough to look up. When he did so he felt a sickening wave of information hit him all at once.

“Gin!” Eli exclaimed walking over to take her hand, “You have to see the planets we’re about to run into, they look _awe_ some!”

Gin smiled at him as she walked passed.

Rush gripped the console he was working at, and attempted to smother the panicking thoughts running through his head as he surreptitiously watched the two. He ended up staring. Gin was alive, fucking alive, and if she was alive then Mandy…Mandy could be… 

He leant his full weight on the console, feigning a casual stance, and tried to relax his posture, “How did Simeon die?”

Both Gin and Eli visibly flinched at the mention of the name. Eli shot him a warning look, before confusion, then realisation dawned on his face.

“What?” Gin asked, frowning at him. She then turned back to Eli, who shrugged, failing miserably to look as if he didn’t understand what was going on, “You know how he died.”

Rush shrugged, “I meant specifically.”

Gin looked away for a moment, “I shot him with one of your Earth guns,” she crossed her arms defensively.

“And we’ve established,” Eli butted in, putting a hand on her shoulder, “That while stealing- uh taking a gun without asking was, well _bad_ , Simeon was kinda not the sanest pea in the pod and Gin was just trying to defend herself…” Eli gave him a warning look, “I’m sorry Gin there’s no speculation to whether or not you had need to use it…it’s just, Rush-”

“I’m glad you killed him,” Rush said.

Gin met his eyes, and her look of discomfort disappeared, to be replaced with gratitude. She gave him a nod.

Eli looked between them worriedly, before coughing, “Uh anyway getting back to the star-maps…”

Rush grabbed his notebook and made a beeline for the doorway. He heard Eli hurriedly tell Gin he needed a moment, and god, Rush did not want to have to explain. He had walked so quickly out the door and down the hallway that Eli had to jog to catch up with him.

“Dude, what the _hell_ was that about?” he demanded.

Rush didn’t stop walking, “Gin did not have a weapon on her in our universe,” he said. He didn’t know where he was walking. He just knew he had to keep going.

“Uh okay but- wait-” Eli grabbed his shoulder in an attempt to stop him and Rush spun, pulling away, “Are you saying that Gin was…that Gin…”

“She _died,_ Eli.”

Eli froze, “Shit…I mean, God I shouldn’t…In every universe we can’t all be alive but God, I didn’t think. God, what if she hadn’t had a gun…”

"I killed him.”

Eli looked up at that, and met his eyes. Rush saw many emotions there, anger, fear but after a moment he nodded, “Good.”

Rush turned away.

“But why you?” Eli called, “Why’d you do it, Rush?”

“Gin wasn’t the only one,” he muttered, unable to care whether or not Eli heard him.

God, he felt like shit. He needed to work on something. He needed to feel computer buttons under his hands, equations flowing through his mind and onto pages, thoughts into numbers. He headed for the bridge.

 

Half an hour later Rush was still working on writing down the differences in Destiny’s weapon’s system, when he heard a cough. He looked up to find Colonel Young standing over him.

“Eli said you rushed out of the Research Lab.”

“So you’ve come to check up on me, have you?” Rush growled, “I don’t need a baby-sitter.”

“I know that,” Young answered, calmly, “I was just wondering what you were doing.”

Rush got up from where he was seated and gestured about him, “This ship has a couple of differences. I’m getting as much information as possible so I can improve my Destiny once I get back.”

Young nodded, “Smart,” and then he frowned, “But do you really think you should be working on that, right now?”

Rush shrugged, “I’ve been considering what happened, and I’ve no clue where to even begin to try and reverse it!” he snapped, “I thought I should, _at least,_ be productive.”

Young held up a hand, “Okay, okay…calm down. I’m not telling you off.”

Rush groaned and walked across the room. He hated how apologetic Young was toward him, how easy it was for he to accept what he was saying, how tolerant he was of his attitude. It made him so angry. He wanted to just fucking hit him, to provoke him.

“Did you want to tell me why you left the Research Lab in such a hurry?”

“Not particularly, no,” Rush answered, and then after a moment his need to know got the better of him, “Did…did you ever meet Dr Amanda Perry?”

Young frowned, “Hmm…Dr Perry? Yes,” Young bit his lip in thought, “Yeah, she came on-board a couple of times to help us with the FTL drive. She worked mainly with Eli. Though, I think you had a brief encounter with her too.”

“So she’s alive?”

“Yes,” he answered hesitantly, “Is she not in your universe?” 

“No.”

Young grimaced, before asking gently, “Did you know her well in the other universe?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Rush answered stiffly, “I- I have a lot of things to get done. I’d appreciate it if you left me to it.”

Young hesitated, and Rush almost expected him to pull him into a god-awful embrace but thankfully the Colonel didn’t and instead wished him good luck and left. As soon as he was gone Rush threw his notepad across the room with a frustrated growl. Mandy was alive here! He was relieved, of course, but she was alive _HERE_. Why was everything so damn right and yet so damn fucking wrong in this universe? TJ and Varro had a daughter, Eli had Gin, even alternative-him had someone, and Mandy was alive. Rush punched the wall with fury. Why had they been so lucky? If…if Mandy had lived in his universe…Rush collapsed to the floor in exhaustion…Why had he drawn the short straw? Why did this alternative-world get everything?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the new instalment. I've changed a couple things with the fic. It's no longer a series because I think it works better as one story. Also, the formatting doesn't seem to be upsetting anyone, and while the formatting will change slightly later on it shouldn't be too confusing.
> 
> Please leave a comment and tell me what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Her eyes snapped to something over his shoulder and then she gently pulled away. Young turned to see Rush watching them. The man looked guarded, colder than he’d seen this Rush look. The familiarity of it calmed his nerves; it shouldn’t have but it did._
> 
> _“The Colonel assures me that you’re feeling better,” TJ said._
> 
> _“Everett, would be correct,” he replied, making Young’s name sound like a medal he’d earned._

~ CU ~

Colonel Young watched as Rush’s hands danced across the console. He was faster than their universe’s Rush, quicker to see mistakes, quicker to respond. His voice was still sharp, spurting out instructions or dismissing ideas with a single ‘no it wouldn’t work’ and a wave of his hand. It still frustrated Eli, Young could see that, but he suspected that Eli’s frustration was also partly due to the surprising lack of hostility Rush aimed at him.

“If it was a solar flare that upset the Stargate and created a time displacement that one time…” Eli said, “Then there had to be another power source that could have upset the gate.”

“But there was no solar flare or equally powerful force on this end.”

“Yeah, but…” Eli paused, looking over his notes, “What if it didn’t happen on our end?”

“You think there could have been a solar flare on the planet’s side of the gate?” Rush asked.

Eli shrugged, “Why not?” he asked, “We wouldn’t have immediately picked up on it if it was far enough away, and if it happened spontaneously at the exact same moment in both universes…maybe the wormholes overlapped, and sent you guys back to the wrong places.”

Rush grinned, and ruffled Eli’s hair, “Well done.”

Eli laughed unsurely, equally glad and confused by the affection. Rush took that moment of distraction to snatch his notes from under his nose.

“Hey!”

Young couldn’t help smiling at the sight. He stopped as soon as he realised. God, this wasn’t Rush…but…he _was_ Rush. This could have been Rush if things had been different. This might have been Rush if Dr Perry had more freedom to do as she wished. She might have been able to do this for Rush. Young couldn’t help hoping that in some universe Dr Perry was healthy, that she had been able to be with Rush and that they had both been happy. Maybe she would have kept him from dialling the ninth chevron…maybe she could have stopped them all from ending up on Destiny, or at the very least been on Destiny to look after Rush. Maybe…

God, but there was no point thinking about _maybe’s_ now was there? He could think about _maybe’s_ and _what if’s_ all day and he’d just make himself sick. Young sighed, feeling uneasy all of a sudden. He couldn’t stand there anymore. 

“Eli contact me if you need anything,” he ordered, before leaving.

“Yeah, sure, Colonel!” Eli responded, without looking up from the console.

He was distracted in his thoughts and so almost ran into TJ, who rounded the corner.

“Colonel!” she exclaimed in surprise before smiling, “I was just coming to check up on Rush.

Young sighed, “Yeah, he’s fine just…God, it’s weird,” he admitted, “I want to say he’s a lot of work, but he isn’t.”

TJ gave him a sympathetic look, “I’m sure he’s finding it just as difficult.”

“Yeah,” he responded, “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’ll- I’ll let you get back to your work.”

He went to move out of the way but TJ stopped him with a hand on his arm. She motioned to the hand he had on his hip. He was roughly massaging the taut muscles there, “You alright, sir?”

Her hand went to touch his, trying to stop him from violently pushing into his leg muscles.

He smiled, taking her hand in his. “I’m fine. It’s just my leg being stiff…It’s not like I’m dying,” he said, before his words caught up to him and he looked away. Ah shit. He swallowed, and looked up, “How are you doing?” he asked, gently.

TJ ran a thumb over his hand, affectionately, “I’m okay, Everett. I get time to take care of myself. Don’t worry.” 

She smiled reassuringly but he knew her…he knew she was terrified, and that she was barely holding herself together. He knew that she worked nearly non-stop, trying to make every last hour of her life worth it. She still had years but god…years could go in the blink of an eye.

Her eyes snapped to something over his shoulder and then she gently pulled away. Young turned to see Rush watching them. The man looked guarded, colder than he’d seen this Rush look. The familiarity of it calmed his nerves; it shouldn’t have but it did.

“The Colonel assures me that you’re feeling better,” TJ said.

“ _Everett,_ would be correct,” he replied, making Young’s name sound like a medal he’d earned.

Young swallowed, “Ah TJ did you want to go get something to eat?” he asked, hoping they could talk. He’d missed talking to her, “I’m just heading to the mess now.”

TJ smiled, “Already eaten, sir, sorry.”

“I’ll go,” Rush said, “Haven’t eaten anything today, yet.”

Young turned on him in surprise. TJ touched Young’s hand, subtly, before she headed off down the hall. He wanted to stop her and organise to meet up later but he didn’t. Rush watched him, carefully, as he stared at him.

“What?” Rush asked, crossing his arms, still looking annoyed, “Does the other-Rush not eat either?”

“Not unless he’s ordered too,” Young replied.

They began to walk in the direction of the mess.

“The other-Rush is sounding more and more like an idiot,” Rush remarked.

“He isn’t,” Young answered, with a laugh, “Just…Just a lot of work.”

Young noticed Rush relax. He had the suspicion that the scientist had been jealous. It might have been amusing if it weren’t jealousy aimed at him and TJ. _Shit._ They reached the mess shoulder-to-shoulder, drawing all manner of looks from the crew members already there. Young had to smother the unease crawling up his throat.

They sat and Rush smirked at him.

“What?” Young asked.

“Nothing,” was Rush’s reply, as his smirk fell away, “I just…hadn’t managed to get a moment of free time with you in the past month, and the first time I get a chance…it’s not even really you.”

“I’m sorry,” Young answered.

“No you’re not,” Rush replied, “You’re quite happy as you are. You have Tamara after all.”

“Ah,” Young bit his lip, wondering how the hell he’d ended up in this situation, having to explain to Rush that there was nothing to be jealous of. “TJ and I aren’t together anymore,” he said.

“But you _were_?” Rush asked, looking uncomfortable, as if he was hoping Young would contradict him.

“Well, yes Rush. Before we ended up on board, me and TJ were together. But since arriving, that’s…changed.”

“So she’s with Varro now?”

“What? No…” Young shook his head.

“What about Carmen?”

“Carmen?” Young blinked, “You know about Carmen?”

Rush nodded, “I haven’t seen her around here.”

Young looked down at his bowl of white sludge, and felt sick.

“What?”

“Ah…” he sighed, “She didn’t survive here.”

“Shit.” 

Young looked up to see Rush’s face pained, “Yeah…”

“Varro wasn’t the father was he?” Rush asked.

“No,” Young replied, not looking up, “I was…”

“I’m…sorry.”

“Yeah…” Young trailed off, feeling his throat clog up. He cleared it with a cough, and looked up, “Is TJ happy?”

“She is,” Rush nodded, and then after a moment, he added a solemn: “And so are you.”

It took Young a moment to realise what Rush meant, and when he did he felt the urge to reach out to him. He stopped, though. This Rush might appreciate such a gesture but they were not alone.

“I’m sorry,” he said, instead, “It must be hard for you to watch someone you-”

“That I love.”

Young froze and watched as Rush shrugged and leant back in his chair, crossing his arms and staring at Young from in-between the folds of his hair. The response and reaction was so defensive that Young couldn’t help wondering…

“Does he know?”

“Yes, no…” Rush looked down, “Well, I don’t know. I haven’t…He says it all the time. He must know.”

Young huffed a laugh, “You’re married and yet you’ve never told him you love him. Why _aren’t_ I surprised?”

“Oh, shut up.”

“Just because he’s told you that he loves you doesn’t mean he knows you love him, Rush.” 

“I…know that.”

Young decided to lighten the mood. He smirked, “So, am I romantic?”

Rush scoffed, “Hardly,” he replied, “Cliché more like.”

Young laughed.

“Awkward, unbelievably stubborn, annoying, a pain in my arse…” Rush looked down at his hands, a small smile playing across his lips, “But sweet, loyal to a fault, smart- though he doesn’t think so…adorable.”

Young chocked, “Adorable?”

Rush glared, “Fuck off.”

Young looked around for a moment, saw that everyone was busy conversing or eating, and took the moment to change his mind. He reached out and lay a hand over Rush’s.

“I’m glad you found someone who could make you happy, even if it’s… _oddly,_ another version of me.”

Rush smiled, “Thank you, Colonel.”

Young pulled his hand back slowly, “So, if we manage to get you back to your world, do you think you might be able to introduce me to your husband?” It was meant as a joke.

Rush shrugged, “Unlikely. Though, if we can, then maybe you could meet Carmen as well. Tamara too.”

“That would be…that would be nice,” Young smiled, “Thank you.”

“She’s seven now, and smart for her age,” Rush grinned, “She has beat me at chess several times.”

Young nodded, and looked down. He’d hoped they wouldn’t come back to this topic…and then he frowned, having just noticed what Rush had said.

“Seven?”

“Yeah,” Rush replied.

“Seven…” Young frowned, realising the further implications of Carmen’s age. “How long have you been on Destiny?”

“Ten years now.”

“But…” Young grimaced, “Eli would have been fairly young when…”

Rush nodded and looked down at his food grimly, “Nineteen. The kid genius had only just been in MIT for a couple of years when he completed the Ninth Chevron code.”

Young frowned, “We didn’t release it until a while later.”

Rush shrugged, “We had the Alpha site ready, my maths was all that was holding us back, and when Chloe and her father suggested putting the code into a game I thought it was ridiculous.” Rush shrugged, “But it got us Eli.”

“But Chloe was at the Alpha site as her father’s assistant. You can’t tell me she was his assistant back at the age of…” Young trailed off wondering how old she would have been.

“No, you’re correct. She certainly was no politician’s assistant. How Senator Armstrong managed to get her clearance, I still don’t know. But you know how politicians are,” he rolled his eyes, “They always seem to get what they want. Though…without Chloe we wouldn’t have the game, and without the game…” he waved a hand, “It was all destined to work out, wasn’t it?”

“Destined to go wrong, you mean?”

Rush shrugged, “Matter of opinion. It shouldn’t have happened the way it did for us but it did; it _has_ happened, and now we have to deal with it.”

Young nodded, “Well, it seems Eli was destined to break it.”

“In two universes, at least,” Rush corrected, with a small smirk.

Young laughed, “Still hoping that in at least one universe you cracked the code?”

Rush grinned, “I don’t hope. I know. If multiple universes exist then every possibility of events must occur. In at least a few universes I have to have cracked the code.”

“And in at least a few we got home?” Young asked.

Ten years was a long time, and their crew were still stuck on Destiny in the middle of no where, far, far away from Earth and all their loved ones. It was more than a little disconcerting. To think that they could have got home in just a few universes, though? To think that they could have cured a few illnesses, saved a few…people…

“TJ?” Young suddenly thought, “Has…is TJ cured?”

“Cured?” Rush frowned, and for a moment Young thought they hadn’t known about her illness, until Rush continued, “Is she still sick?”

Young let out a breath, “We…we never got the chance to download all of the information from-”

“From Novus?” Rush asked, “We did. A long time ago.”

“Do you think we could get the information?” Young asked, feeling jittery. 

If they had the information, if they could save TJ then…He hoped this would work. God, the amount of times things went wrong on Destiny; They were well-overdue for a lucky break. 

“There is a chance that your Rush might work this out too and bring it back with him…there’s a chance I could even send the information back through the gate once I get home.”

Young nodded, trying to control his excitement. That wasn’t a confirmation. It was just an idea, a possibility. He had to keep that in mind. 

“Alright,” Young said, “We don’t tell TJ, though,” he added, “I don’t want her getting her hopes up just yet.”

Rush nodded.

Young smiled, “What do you say we try getting you back home, then?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'm working on the next right now and hope to have it posted toward the end of this week. Please leave a comment and tell me what you think.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Explain to me how this works?” he asked Chloe after he’d struggled over a couple of his counterpart’s unfinished equations._
> 
> _She had been silent the whole time, simply studying him._
> 
> _“Ah, I can’t?” she responded, looking confused._

~ AU ~

“Can you please just take him for a walk or something?” Eli begged Chloe.

“I am not a dog!” Rush snapped.

“Says the one barking and growling orders at me!” Eli exclaimed.

“Guys,” Chloe said, softly, “Calm down.”

“I can’t calm down!” Eli groaned, “Not with this guy. With the other Rush sure. He gets in bad states and I can deal with that, but this guy,” he jabbed a finger in Rush’s direction, “He’s like the first doctor in Doctor Who, before he understands how to actually _communicate_ with humans properly.”

Rush massaged his forehead, holding back a groan.

“Eli…” Chloe sighed.

“I know, I know…no sci-fi references…” he threw up his arms, “He’s grumpy, okay? I can’t deal with it!”

That was it. He’d had it. Rush snatched up his notepad, “Fine, you work through these calculations,” he snapped, walking out the door, “I have better things to do.”

“What _better_ things?” Eli called after him.

He was halfway down the hall before he noticed Chloe by his side.

“Is there a place on this ship where I can work alone?” he asked her.

“Yeah,” she said, “You have a workspace, a hallway…it’s…”

“I know where it is,” he responded, recognising what she was talking about.

Chloe followed him all the way to his workspace and he didn’t stop her. He didn’t want to. He needed her help. He set to work immediately, working through the calculations for shield variance and the exact quantity of power Destiny’s power saving-mode gave them. There were differences to this Destiny. Of all the bits and bobs, though, he was most interested in the FTL and shield modifications.

“Explain to me how this works?” he asked Chloe after he’d struggled over a couple of his counterpart’s unfinished equations.

She had been silent the whole time, simply studying him. 

“Ah, I can’t?” she responded, looking confused.

He turned and frowned at her, “You don’t understand any of this?” he asked.

She grimaced, “Should I?”

He stepped forward and cupped her face, studying her features. When he didn’t find what he was looking for, he let her go, “No, I suppose you shouldn’t,” he said, unbelievably relieved.

“Rush?”

He shrugged, absent-mindedly thinking how much more useful she was in his universe. “In my universe you usually help me with this sort of stuff,” he didn’t elaborate. She was a sweet girl, and the less she knew the better. “So, who was it that came up with this then?” he asked, “Surely it wasn’t me?”   _“Young to Chloe.”_

Chloe took out her radio, “Yeah, Colonel?”

_“Do you know where Nicholas is?”_

Rush spun and shot her a look, which she missed completely.

“Right here with me, sir. He’s in his hideout.”

_“Of course he is,”_ Young replied in an amused tone, _“Tell him I’m on my way.”_

Rush sighed, before scribbling out what he was doing and threw the chalk at the wall, “Will I never get a chance alone,” he growled.

Chloe lay a hand on his shoulder and he flinched, pulling away, “I don’t know what it’s like on your Destiny but you’ve always enjoyed our company here.” She shrugged, “If you simply said you needed space we’d-”

“It doesn’t matter, does it!” he snapped, “We’re just as stuck. And now I’m twice stuck,” he motioned at the equations, “All I’m good for is working this out for you, useless lot. I’ll fix the damned ship and then I’ll fix the damned ship again.” 

“Rush, it’s not like that-”

He pushed her away, “We don’t have time for this.”

And that’s when Young walked in, “How we doing?”

Rush rolled his eyes, “Fan-bloody-tastic!”

“Nicholas?”

“ _Fuck off._ ”

“I’ll just…” Chloe gave Young a frown and edged past him, “Leave you two…”

Young nodded at her and she gave him a sympathetic look before slipping out.

“Nicholas,” Young sighed, “What’s wrong?”

Rush leant against the wall and crossed his arms.

“Nick?”

Then he hurtled himself forwards, suddenly sparking with energy, jabbing accusingly at the white equations on the wall, “What the hell does this mean?” he demanded, “These equations are half done. They’re not in my handwriting and certainly not in my understanding!”

“Nick…in your universe-”

“Oh just fuck off about parallel universes for once. All I want to do is improve our chances of survival. This Destiny’s and mine. And to do that-” Rush smacked a hand against the wall in anger, “I need to fucking understand this working out! It could be important!”

He knelt, palms digging into his eyes. He heard Young sigh and peaked out from his hands to see the Colonel pick up the chalk. Rush looked away and held his hand out, expecting Young to hand it to him. Instead he heard the familiar ‘scritch-scritch’ of chalk against metal. He didn’t know what to expect when he looked up but it was certainly not the sight of Young, kneeling beside him, carefully writing equations in a matching scrawl to that on the rest of the wall. He finished a couple of lines, barely pausing and then drew a small diagram before placing the chalk in Rush’s outstretched hand. Rush stared at the drawn eyes that looked back at him, and he saw something beneath the skin, in the irises, something he’d looked for in Chloe and not found.

“You…You were the one abducted by the Nakai,” Rush realised, “Not Chloe, you.”

Young didn’t look surprised or shaken by Rush’s words. Just…tired, “Chloe was taken?” he asked, before sighing, “In this world,” Young sighed, “it was only me. As soon as I took a closer look at you I recognised their signs. I’m…” he looked away, “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“They messed around in your head too?”

“And in my DNA,” Young clutched his arm, massaging at his skin as if absentmindedly trying to rub away the memory, “Though I’ve been told I’m “human” again,” he air-quoted.

Rush shivered involuntarily, “Other-you never went through that. It happened to Chloe instead.”

“Then I’m glad it was me and not her,” Young replied, looking away.

Rush didn’t answer.

Young tiredly pointed to the wall, “So does that make more sense to you?”

Rush blinked, put his glasses back on and looked up at the equations, reading through them slowly, “That bit,” he pointed out, “Don’t you need to calculate for space-time variance? That disqualifies everything else you’ve just written…”

“No, no it doesn’t. Look,” Young pointed to Rush’s earlier working out, “You were working out the shield frequencies and seeing how far you could adapt them to defend against drone or Nakai ships.”

“Yes,” Rush nodded, “And then your equation starts to take into account FTL and…”

Young nodded, and then pointed to a diagram of light-travel through space-time, “This-”

“Yes, yes, I understand that!” Rush rolled his eyes.

“Okay, but what happens when you exceed time and space?”

Rush raised an eyebrow, “Pardon?”

“Space and time are relative, human concepts. Beyond a certain point the theory no longer works.”

“That hasn’t been proven.”

“It has. The Ancients were close, and I…”

“ _You_ worked it out?” Rush scoffed.

Then when Young nodded, he stared in disbelief. That wasn’t possible. Young? Of all people? Even with the Nakai messing about with his head that wasn’t…he couldn’t…Rush folded his arms across his chest in disbelief, more than a little horrified at the prospect.

“Beyond space and time there is nothing,” Young continued, a smile playing on his lips as he talked, as if he were excited by the prospect, “What if Destiny could hover in that non-existent state? What would that mean for us?”

Rush shrugged, “We’d be…” his hands dropped to his sides in disbelief, “We’d shift out of phase with solid matter and linear time.”

“Exactly,” Young grinned, “Invisible to enemy ships and impenetrable to enemy fire.”

There was something innocent in the look Young gave him, a boyish joy in understanding things one hadn’t ever understood before, or perhaps it was the joy in being able to explain something to Rush that he didn’t wholly understand. Rush turned away from the look, and ran a hand through his hair, feeling a headache building. It was as if Young was getting back at him, as if Young knew what this kind of math did to Rush; how it got under his skin, burned in his veins like blood, was his oxygen during a panic attack, his hobby, his life…and it had taken him years to gain his knowledge and then…Young just turned up and knew these things and shoved it in his face like…oh…Rush gritted his teeth.

“No wonder he likes you,” he spat. Rush turned on him, “Did you seduce him with those kinds of talks?” he demanded, “Did you let him think this was actually _you_ talking, and not the Nakai?”

Rush watched Young’s eyes darken, and then he found himself being slammed up against the wall. Young’s hand was on his throat. God, finally, _finally_ , something familiar.

“How dare you!” Young growled, “He doesn’t know! I don’t let him see me like _this_. You think he could handle this?” Young grimaced, “He thinks Eli comes up with this _shit._ ”

“Sure,” Rush managed through clenched teeth.

Young tightened his grip on Rush’s neck, “I’ll have you know that we’ve been happily married for a good long while before this all happened. He liked me as I was. I love him!” he spat.

Rush flinched.

“And that terrifies you,” Young realised, laughing darkly for a moment, “Well, I don’t care how alone you are in your world, or how much you hate my company. Because I _do_ love him. I love him and he loves…me…”

Rush didn’t miss the waver in Young’s voice. 

He smirked, focusing in on that insecurity, “Does he, though?” he sneered, “Has he even told you?” he knew it was a no, and he didn’t need Young’s frown to know he was right. “He won’t ever tell you,” he continued, “He can’t love you. You’re probably just the best of the worst-case scenarios…his _fucking_ play thing.”

Young squeezed and Rush saw stars, his heart was slamming in his chest, his face burning, his face suddenly taut, his head pounding - and then he collapsed to the floor as Young let go of him. Rush looked up at Young through the folds in his hair, gasping for breath, and saw the horrified look Young gave him.

“You need help,” Young said, his tone a mix of pity and disgust. He turned from him and leant against the wall, “At first it was hard,” he said, “At first I couldn’t tell if you were him but I know better now. You’re nothing like him. He’d never do this. He’d never manipulate-” he shuddered, “I don’t know what went wrong in your life, Rush, but you can’t tell me that you don’t see this universe, this crew, see how they react to you and envy it. You’re still him, a fucked up version of him, granted, but…I know you, and you can’t be happy like this.” Young sighed, and punched the hallway button, leaving in a hurry.

He left silence behind him.

Rush crumbled. Shit. _Shit._ This universe was…fuck it was wrong. It was just so wrong. He’d been on edge, he’d been crawling in his skin, fucking suffocating. Then Young put his hand around his throat and God he could breathe again because that was familiar, that was what he knew. Young hated him, distrusted him, and Rush didn’t feel naked anymore, no longer see-through and _fuck_ but he’d felt more comfortable shoved up against that wall with a hand round his throat than he had in his room with Young’s arms around him.

He knew exactly how fucking messed up that was but…

Fuck if he didn’t…if he didn’t like the way Eli had smiled at him, at the way he’d joked, at the light-hearted looks Scott and Greer had given him, the sweet smile TJ had aimed at him. No, everything wasn’t wrong in this universe…everything was wrong in his own. He was envious of this other Rush. Not because he was with Young - God, he still didn’t understand that. He still couldn’t fucking deal with that - But because he was happy because he knew how to be happy. That other Rush, he had made the same mistakes, and yet…he’d found happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I posted this a lot later than I expected to! I hope you enjoy it. I didn't really have time to go over and see if there were any grammatical errors or anything. Sorry! I hope you all have a great christmas! Or just a wonderful day tomorrow.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"...tell me the exact,” Rush sighed, and lowered his voice, “The exact symptoms that Chloe displayed._
> 
> _Young turned to check if Eli was listening but he seemed too busy to notice their hushed conversation, “She had black outs at first,” Young began, “Terrible nightmares, she’d daze a lot, more towards the end.”_
> 
> _As he talked he noticed Rush pale._

~ CU ~

Young watched Rush work through his calculations again and again to no avail. Eli looked just as unsure.

“How are we doing?” he asked, anyway.

“Fantastic,” Eli replied, sarcastically.

“We’ve looked at the star-logs and information Destiny’s systems have stored,” Rush said, throwing up a hand, “But there doesn’t appear to have been a solar flare or any other astronomical effects on our side, or planet-side of the gate.” 

“We have two theories,” Eli explained.

“Let’s here it then,” Young gestured for them to continue.

“A) Something on the planet caused this,” Rush answered.

“Or B) something on Destiny caused this,” Eli shrugged, “Which, we think is unlikely because I mean…what the hell could _we_ have that might do this. It’s kind of…so bloody sci-fi.”

“Eli,” Rush sighed, “You’re on a spaceship.”

“Well, yeah…” Eli frowned.

“Our best bet,” Rush continued, before Eli could interrupt, “Is going back to where we were and parking Destiny there.”

Young nodded, “And then what?”

“And then we dial in, and hope for the best,” Rush sighed.

“That’s it?” Young asked, looking between the two of them.

Eli rubbed a hand across his neck guiltily, “Yeah that’s kinda as far as we got…”

“Okay then,” Young replied, “We go back and try that out. But think of other options in the meantime,” he directed the last bit at Eli, before turning to Rush, “Could we have brought something on board that could have done this?”

“Well, have you brought back any alien artefacts that could have messed about with Destiny’s systems?”

“No, not that I can think of…our last couple of stops were mineral pickups.” Young replied, “What else could mess with Destiny’s systems?”

Eli looked up from his console all of a sudden, drawing the attention of both Rush and Young, “Hang on how do we know it’s this Destiny which was messed with?”

Rush tilted his head in interest.

“Could that be it?”

Rush nodded, “Perhaps. There were a couple of instances where I suspected that someone or something had changed Destiny’s shields beyond the initial calibrations.” He frowned, “And…there was a couple of glitches.”

“What do you mean?” Young asked.

“Data had been deleted. But Brody told me that it was just a system glitch. He had been there the whole time…and…” Rush turned to him, “There was one time that I swore I saw Nakai ships on our sensors but they didn’t attack and then…they weren’t there anymore.”

“And you didn’t mention this before, because?” Eli asked.

Rush frowned, “Everett was with me at the time. He looked at the sensors. He told me there was nothing there…That I was sleep-deprived.” Rush’s jaw visibly clenched as he looked away.

“So you saw the Nakai ships but they didn’t attack?” Eli frowned, “As if Destiny were invisible…This actually sounds like that thing you were telling me about…that…uh…” Eli frowned at Rush, “Could you help me here?”

Rush raised an eyebrow, “I’m not the one who told you.”

Eli frowned, “Right, yeah the other you…said something about…uh bug-things? That could…become invisible?”

Young perked up, “The Re’tu?” he asked.

“Yes!” Eli pointed at him, “That’s it, yeah!”

“General O’Neill told me about that…” Young mentioned, “They were out of phase with humans and so we couldn’t see them.” Then he frowned, “But if you’re right, and Destiny was out of phase then how did you step through the gate?”

“I don’t think that…” Rush frowned, “Everett said that it didn’t actually happen. We can’t base a hypothesis off of something that didn’t happen.”

Eli frowned, “Okay but…bear with me…”

Rush grimaced,“Dr Jackson went out of phase once and could pass through the gate.” Then he sighed, “But even then…of all the things…we’re going to assume that I wasn’t hallucinating? That my husband lied to me? That…other-Eli managed to come up with this?”

Eli deflated, “Alright, yeah. When you say it like that I guess it doesn’t sound too viable. But the planet theory isn’t really much of a theory, more of an assumption. At least this sort of makes sense?” he shrugged, “You’re also a lot more stable than our Rush, and if Colonel Young was lying to you, it was probably because he didn’t want to worry you…as for other-me coming up with it?” Eli grimaced, “That’s probably the least likely thing out of the lot…”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself,” Rush said, “If someone was going to come up with it, it would be you.”

“What about Chloe?”

“Chloe?” Rush scoffed.

“Ah…” Eli swallowed, “She’s not a maths-wizz over there?”

“No,” Rush said slowly, “Should she be?”

Young stepped in, “In this world the Nakai abducted her and experimented on her.”

“As a result she’s pretty much a genius now,” Eli added.

Rush looked skeptical, “Really?”

“We got her back…There were some complications…” Young explained, “But everything’s sorted out now.”

“And she’s _still_ a genius.”

Rush looked uncomfortable, like he was working through calculations, or thoughts, and connecting things he hadn’t connected before.

“I’m assuming this never happened on your ship?” Young asked him, breaking him out of his reverie.

“No…” he said, quietly, “No one was abducted…not that I know of. Though, I was in the infirmary for quite a few weeks. Broke my leg in a rock slide.” 

Young tensed uncontrollably. That would have been around the time he left their universe’s Rush on that planet…when he’d told them all that Rush had been lost in a land slide. Though, this Rush seemed to be sincere about his explanation.

“During that time…if someone _had_ been abducted and then returned to the ship. They might be the one making these alterations to Destiny.”

“That’s not good,” Eli remarked.

“No, it’s not,” Rush replied.

Young sighed, “Well we can’t do anything about it now. So we work with what we have. We work on what we can. We turn the ship around.”

“And we hope for the best,” Eli sighed, “ _Great_ plan.”

“It’s all we’ve got,” Young replied.

Young relayed his instructions to the bridge and had Brody plot in the coordinates of their last position. Before long they were heading back the way they’d come. Eli was running the calculations for their exact position and Rush was…Rush was staring at the wall.

“How are you doing?” Young asked.

Rush jolted out of his daze, “If I’m honest,” he ran a hand through his hair, “Not great.”

Young walked over to stand beside the scientist, “Can I help?”

“Yes, actually.”

Young raised an eyebrow in surprise, having expected the man to say no.

“You can tell me the exact,” Rush sighed, and lowered his voice, “The exact symptoms that Chloe displayed.”

Young turned to check if Eli was listening but he seemed too busy to notice their hushed conversation, “She had black outs at first,” Young began, “Terrible nightmares, she’d daze a lot, more towards the end.” 

As he talked he noticed Rush pale.

“And now she can understand complicated maths and other stuff that she couldn’t before. There were also a couple of physical changes. Her skin started turning blue, and scaly in places…she got stronger. She got quite dangerous,” Young pointed out, “She knocked out several of my men at one point, and had no memory of it later on.”

Rush clenched his jaw.

Young couldn’t help noticing the look of unease in the man’s eyes, “You recognise some of these symptoms.”

“Yeah,” Rush sighed, “I do.”

“It’s him, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”  “I’m sorry.”

“He’d been acting odd for about a month…” Rush admitted, “I thought it was just sleep-deprivation, or something, I thought he just needed space,” he looked down at his hands, “When I was released from the infirmary I began to notice things. He had nightmares, used to walk around the ship at night…I caught him staring off into the distance a few times...” Rush ran a hand across his face. “Wray took over command for a while. He kicked up a fuss and ended up moving out of our room for a couple weeks…I asked Tamara to keep an eye on him for me.” He shook his head, “There were rumours going around…I just thought it was stress, that he needed a break.” He sighed, “I don’t know how I…I should have seen it. God, I should have-”

“Rush, hey,” Young placed his hand on Rush’s shoulder, “You can’t have known. None of us realised what was happening to Chloe for a long while.”

Rush looked up at him, grimacing, “You fixed her, though?”

“We took her back to the Nakai,” Young told him, “It was something we had to do. They took all the Ancient information she’d gained from Destiny, but they returned her to us. She no longer had the alien DNA in her. She recovered. He can recover too.”

Rush nodded.

“You’ll succeed, don’t worry.”

Rush sighed, “Perhaps,” then he shrugged, “First we have to get me back home.”

Young nodded, “Yep. Too bad we don’t have a pair of ruby slippers.”

Rush gave a tired, underwhelmed laugh.

“Okay, the calculations are in!” Eli perked up, “We might as well head to the gate-room.”

Young gave Rush a reassuring smile, which Rush attempted to return. But the smile didn’t meet his eyes. Eli jogged out of the Research Lab ahead of them, and they followed behind at a fast walk. Young placed a hand on Rush’s back as they walked out of the room. Rush looked tired, and tense. He looked too much like their Rush. It was odd to see. This Rush had been so happy, so care-free, as if his Universe were so much better…and God, look what their Universe had done to him…and he’d barely even been in their universe that long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I had trouble with this chapter. Please leave a comment and tell me what you think. Thanks!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Rush to Colonel Young.”_
> 
> _After a moment the radio buzzed, “Young here,” the colonel replied._
> 
> _“I think I’ve worked out our predicament.”  
> _

~ AU ~

“Uncle Nick!”

Rush looked up, and immediately recognised the high-pitched voice of a child, “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he muttered to himself, before walking faster.

“Nick! Nick, wait up!” Carmen managed to catch up to him, but still had to jog to keep up with his long, swift strides, “Hey, you said we could play chess today.”

“Chess?” he asked, “Really?”

“Yes, really,” Carmen laughed, “We play chess at least once a week, and we haven’t for a few weeks because you’ve been so busy. You said today. Come on, Nick, please!”

“I’m busy.”

“Oh come on Nick!”

He slowed to a halt, and turned to her, “I’m sure Chloe would love to play chess with you, instead.”

“But I don’t want to play chess with Chloe,” Carmen whined, “I want to play chess with you.”

He crossed his arms, “You, surely, don’t actually want to play chess with me.”

Carmen pouted.

Rush sighed, and ran a hand through his hair, “Fine. One game.”

The little girl grinned, “Yes!”

Then she spent the entire way to his quarters skipping, and talking in a rushed, breathless tone about how she’d done all her maths and english homework and that he would be so so proud of her. He was surprised to find out that he was in fact the one tutoring her. Good lord, where the hell did he find the spare time? Or better yet, why the hell was he spending it with a seven-year-old…Especially, a talkative one.

After they arrived Carmen shut up for barely a minute as Rush unlocked the doors of his quarters and got out the chess set he’d made.

“Mum says you need all the help you can get and that I’ll be your assistant one day!” Carmen exclaimed, “Do you reckon I’m smart enough?”

Rush raised an eyebrow at her as he began placing pieces on the board, “Certainly not yet.”

Carmen pouted, “I’m _smart_ for a seven-year-old.”

“You’re the only child on board,” Rush replied, placing the last piece in place, “You can hardly make an accurate comparative assessment.”

Carmen huffed and then after a moment she frowned, “What does ‘compa…tive assessment’ mean?”

“ _Comparative assessment_ ,” Rush corrected, “It means to compare something to something else in order to study a part of it.”

“Why didn’t you just say that?”

“Because I’m not a seven-year-old.”

Carmen stuck out her tongue.

Rush raised an eyebrow, “Shall we start?”

She fell, blissfully silent, for about three moves…and then the counting began, “One times one is one, two times two is four, three times three is nine-”

Rush sighed, “What are you doing?”

“My times-tables,” Carmen replied, “It’s what we do.”

“You’re doing it wrong,” he replied, “You work through all the one times-tables, before going on to the two times-tables, then three, then four…”

“But you said that way was too simple for me.”

“Okay then,” Rush scoffed, “Continue.”

“Four times four is sixteen…” 

He followed her counting, ready to make a correction when she slipped up. He found it, strangely, soothing. Concentrating on both the game and her recitation left little space for his brain to think about anything else. He could suddenly see the appeal of working with her. Perhaps, he did get something out of this after all.

Carmen continued on and on, and they finished three games before he realised how far she’d recited to.

“Twelve times twelve is a hundred and forty-four.”

“Stop.”

She did.

He blinked in surprise, “Repeat that.”

Carmen frowned, “Did I get it wrong? Twelve times twelve is a hundred and forty-four, right?”

“You’re correct.”

He couldn’t believe his ears. She hadn’t made one mistake. Unbelievable. He knew this couldn’t be all of his doing. He was a particularly shoddy teacher. Hence the reason he took up lecturing, rather than teaching. He could stand there and talk at students all day. He could deal with that. Out of office hours’ questions were painful, one-on-one help was hell. Yet, here he was sitting with a seven-year-old who knew her times-tables up to sixteen times sixteen. He couldn’t help feeling impressed.

Carmen grinned, “I can go farther!”

Rush smirked, “If you can go farther you don’t need to boast about it.”

Carmen looked at her hands and frowned, “Sorry, Uncle.”

Rush leant over and ruffled her hair.

She smiled at him, and they went back to playing chess. After a moment she perked up, “So what’s up with you and Evi?”

Rush paused, “Evi?”

“Uncle Everett.”

He grimaced, and ran a hand through his hair, “Uh…well…He wants me to work on something personal but I don’t have time…” he replied, “I’m too busy working on fixing this bloody ship.”

“Don’t swear!”

“ _‘Bloody’_ isn’t a swear word.”

She didn’t seem convinced, “Why can’t you do the other stuff first?” she asked.

“Because the ship’s more important.”

“Then do the ship stuff and then the other stuff!”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I just can’t.”

Carmen frowned, and picked up the horse from her side of the chess board, spinning the little wooden piece in her hands, “Then why not do both?”

“Because I can’t be in two places at once,” Rush replied, sighing, “This isn’t something you can understand…God…” he just wanted to be alone, he just wanted to disappear, “I wish I was invisible.”

Then he froze. Both places…invisible…at the same time. _Shit._ The shield modifications! That’s what happened. That’s why it happened.

“Well Eli said-”

“Wait!” Rush put a hand over Carmen’s mouth, and pulled out his radio, “Rush to Colonel Young.”

After a moment the radio buzzed, _“Young here,”_ the colonel replied.

“I think I’ve worked out our predicament.”

Carmen peeled Rush’s hand away, “I helped!” she exclaimed.

Rush smirked, “With Carmen’s help.”

There was a pause, before Young replied again, _“Where shall I meet you?”_

“In my quarters.”

When Young arrived Rush wasted no time in explaining his theory.

“When the ship phases out it has to go somewhere,” he started off, excitedly, Theoretically if this follows the multiverse debrain hypothesis then we might be phasing out into the void. The in-between space between universes. Wormholes cut across universes through shortcuts that fold spacetime. What if one of these shortcuts is through void space. What if by phasing out Destiny becomes confused as to which universe it belongs to. Not enough that it would phase-into another universe but enough that the wormhole became confused and linked back up with itself.” He took a deep breath, “In Dr Jackson’s research journals something similar occurred, though it was a power-overload and the wormhole connected two stargates that were both on Earth.”

“Okay, okay,” Young held up a hand, “Stop, for a moment.”

Rush did.

“You’re saying it was my shield and FTL modifications that caused this?”

Rush nodded, “Yes.”

“And can you fix it?”

“Well…I can, but…”

“What are you trying to say here, Rush?”

“We can’t use it again,” he answered.

“What?” Young spluttered, “Why?”

“Our ships are practically exactly the same. If your Destiny happened to phase-out here and then phase-into our universe we might not just get wormhole overlaps. What happens if our two ships overlap? We could rip ourselves and the other Destiny apart.”

“No,” Young shook his head, “I’ve done the calculations. It’s safe. It’s safe _enough._ ”

“It’s not safe at all!”

“It’s our only defence.”

“No, I don’t think you understand,” Rush growled, “You might evade capture a few more times, but the chances of phasing on top of another Destiny - they’re astronomical! The multiverse hypothesis theorises that there is an incalculable number of universes. It’s almost impossible not to collide with a parallel Destiny at some point.”

“Just once more-”

“One more is all it might take to kill us,” Rush told him, “It’s too dangerous!”

“I need to get Nicholas back.”

“The cost is too great.”

“I’m not _leaving_ him!”

“The chances of recreating the wormhole overlap without destroying either Destiny is almost impossible!”

“I’m not- Don’t ask me to-” Young growled, “You lost your wife! You can’t ask me to-”

“If you try to stop me then I’ll take this to Wray, and you’ll no longer have to decide,” Rush answered coldly, “The rest of the crew have a right to decide their fate, and they will side with me!”

“She won’t believe you!” Young spat, “None of the crew will. They think you’re sleep deprived, or sick. It wouldn’t take much to convince them you are.”

“What?” Rush demanded, “That’s why the rest of the crew don’t know what happened?” Rush growled, “You did this to…to what? To discredit me?”

Young gritted his teeth, “Incase I had to, yes.”

“You’re nothing like the Colonel Young I know,” Rush spat, “He wouldn’t risk the crew for a single person.” he clenched his jaw, “You _have_ to leave him behind.”

Young shook his head furiously, “This is exactly what you want!”

“You think this is a walk in the park for me? It’s fucking terrifying!” Rush snapped, “Okay, yeah, it’s nice not being hated for once. It’s nice being trusted…but god, this place…I’m quite sick of it, thank you very much, and I would much rather go home!” Rush sighed, and then shook his head, “But I can’t. It’s too damned dangerous!”

“Fine,” Young replied, stepping forward into Rush’s space, “I thought you might kick up a fuss.”

Young swung his arm, punching Rush square in the face. He staggered back, before Young grabbed him.

“Wha- ?”

“I’m glad I brought this.”

There was nothing Rush could do as something sharp jabbed into his arm, and really he should have seen this coming. He could feel the pressure of the syringe’s contents pushing through his veins. 

“You’re going to kill us all-” he managed, before collapsing to the floor and blacking out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun! What will happen next? Hopefully you'll find out soon. ;) I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please leave a comment.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Rush flew out of the gate, skidding across the floor. For a moment Young thought it might be the same Rush, that something went wrong, but as the man struggled to his feet, it became obvious that this wasn’t the same Rush. The way he held himself was different._
> 
> _“Rush?”_
> 
> _The scientist didn’t respond as he pushed himself up off the floor. He turned back to the gate, and looked about the shaking room, before stumbling towards the control panel where Eli was watching with concern._
> 
> (IMPORTANT: check before-chapter notes)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story is now continuing in the CU, but maintaining that switch between Young and Rush's POV. It's probably going to continue being like that until the end of this story unless otherwise said. Anyway, enjoy the reunion!

~ YOUNG ~

The room began to shake the moment the event horizon exploded into place. Rush grimaced but didn’t say anything.

“What’s happening?” Young asked, over the noise, “Is it safe?”

Eli didn’t respond and both of them turned to Rush.

He shrugged, “There’s only one way to find out,” he said, before patting Young on the shoulder and running for the gate.

“Wait, Rush!” Eli called.

Neither he nor Eli had time to stop Rush before he disappeared through the gate. The shaking worsened. Then after a moment Rush flew out of the gate, skidding across the floor. For a moment Young thought it might be the same Rush, that something went wrong, but as the man struggled to his feet, it became obvious that this wasn’t the same Rush. The way he held himself was different.

“Rush?”

The scientist didn’t respond as he pushed himself up off the floor. He turned back to the gate, and looked about the shaking room, before stumbling towards the control panel where Eli was watching with concern.

"What's happening?" Eli exclaimed.

"I don't know!" Rush snapped, reaching the control panel and staring at it with his brows furrowed, hands flying over the screen.

Young was beginning to feel sick, and had to brace himself against the wall as the room shook harder. Then all of a sudden the gate closed with a snap and the shaking stopped.

“Rush?” Young asked.

Rush’s eyes snapped up to meet his, cold and resentful, “What?”

“You okay?”

“What does it look like?” he demanded.

Eli laughed weakly, “Well it’s nice to have you back.”

Rush ignored Eli and ran a hand through his hair. Young could see that both of his hands were shaking.

“What was that?“ he asked him.

“Oh just your counterpart almost killing us all!” Rush snapped, before pulling out his notebook and throwing it at Eli, who caught it clumsily, “I made notes on the additions and fixes other-me made to their Destiny. Read over the notes and anything you don’t understand I’ll go over with you in about six hours.”

Young couldn’t help smiling, of course he’d managed to take notes as well as work out how to get back. Of course.

“Not now?” Eli asked.

“No,” Rush answered, stepping around him, “Now, I’m going to my quarters to sleep.”

Young raised a questioning eyebrow, “My counterpart must have rubbed off on you,” he said.

Rush shot him a dark look and Young didn’t quite know what to make of that. Rush had said his counterpart had almost killed them…perhaps things had not gone as smoothly in that other world, perhaps his other self was quite different too.

Young swallowed, “Alright,” he said, “I’ll make sure no one bothers you-”

“Much appreciated,” Rush growled, sarcastically.

He’d left before Young could say anything more.

“Well that was…” Eli turned to him, “Unexpected.”

“He’s, understandably, overwhelmed,” Young offered in explanation.

Eli turned back to the notes Rush had given him, “Yeah maybe…it’s understandable for a normal person…but Rush?”

Young placed a hand on Eli’s shoulder, “He’ll be fine.”

Eli shrugged, “Why are you- I don’t care. He’s a pain in the ass. It’ll be good to get some work done without him looking over my shoulder.”

Young gave a small smile. Eli was a terrible liar. He knew that the kid had wanted this Rush back. He knew he’d hoped Rush might be changed by the experience somehow…that he might have softened a little.

“Get to work, and keep me apprised of your progress,” Young told him, before heading out into the hallway, and walking in the direction of the infirmary.

Young sighed. He didn’t know what he’d expected. Perhaps he, like Eli, had thought Rush might return a little different, a little softer, a little more understanding. At the very least he had thought that Rush might recognise there was no reason for them to fight, that they _could_ work together. He, himself, felt as if he’d changed. He felt like he could understand Rush better, that he could understand why he was the way he was. Young could recognise the signs now. Rush was alone; lonely and desperate. The two people, possibly the only people to ever have understood him, had died and he’d had no way to stop it. 

Rush deserved another chance. Yes, he had done some stupid things in the past but they all had. They’d all made mistakes. Rush deserved another chance. Young believed, that after this ordeal he could give that to the man. He could try at least. Try to understand him, try to move on. They all needed to move on. They needed to let go of the baggage holding them back and take a step in the right direction. They needed to get passed their past arguments and deception and pettiness…for the crew, for themselves. Young needed his lead science officer. They’d worked together before, and things had gone well…until they hadn’t…

They could do it again.

If it was going to work, though, Young was going to have to prove to Rush that he was willing to change, that he was willing to take those steps that Rush had always told him he could never take. Young had to be better. He knew that, God he’d known that for a long time but it was difficult. He wasn’t right for this job, but he was all the had. He needed to be better, and to do that he needed to let go of the past, and not just of his distrust of Rush, but of his failed marriage, of the thing between him and TJ, of Carmen…Young had to let go of it all, so he could focus on the present, on getting everyone home. He was no longer married and Emily and he were never going to get back together. He needed to come to terms with that. Enough was enough. He ruined things between them and that was irreversible.

He reached the infirmary, and almost walked straight into Rush, who was heading out. He caught him by the sleeve before the man could pass him.

“Hey,” he said, “I thought you were-”

“Was about to,” Rush answered, roughly pulling his arm from Young’s grip. “But as you know Lieutenant Johanson would have come and found me for a checkup anyway-”

“I was about to tell her not to.”

Rush paused and studied him for a moment, before raising an eyebrow, “Right, well…” he trailed off, “If that’s all, Colonel?”

“So she’s not giving you a checkup, then?”

“She’s…busy,” and with that Rush turned and walked away.

Young grimaced and had to bite back the sarcastic: _‘Helpful as ever, Rush, thank you’_ before the man was out of earshot. He then sighed, and entered the Infirmary, finding TJ at her desk. For a moment he thought she was just engrossed in some reading but then he noticed her shoulders were shaking. She was crying.

“TJ?” he asked, hurrying to her side, “Are you alright?”

She looked up and smiled weakly at him, nodding her head, “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine…sorry…” she laughed, “This is so…” she held up a piece of paper covered in her own hand-writing, “Other me, she gave us the formula for the cure to my ALS.”

Young grinned, “That’s fantastic!” he laughed, sitting on the edge of her desk.

She nodded up at him, “Yeah,” then she looked down at the letter, “She also told me about Carmen…”

Ah shit. “Hey, ” he said, gently taking the letter from her and placing it on the table before enveloping her shaking hands in his, “It’s alright, okay.”

She nodded, “I know…I know this is silly-”

“Hey, it’s not silly at all.”

“She’s with her mother, the other me…she’s happy, they’re both happy,” TJ was beginning to sob again.

“Come here, okay?” he pulled her towards him, so that she was sitting on the desk beside him, and wrapped an arm around her, rubbing her back, “It’ll get better.”

“I know, I know,” she sobbed, “It just…doesn’t feel like it. She has her life together, all sorted out…she’s been able to do everything I hoped to do one day…and…I just…”

“They’ve been in space for seven years, TJ,” he muttered into her shoulder, “As terrible as this sounds, I think we’re going to have a long time to sort ourselves out too,” he gave a sad laugh, “A long time.”

TJ nodded, and smiled sadly, “Yeah, it sounds like it,” she said, then she turned to him, looking worried for a moment, “Colonel…Everett, I-” she looked away, “I’m not sure I can…with you…I can’t…With everything that’s happened…”

Young smiled reassuringly, “Hey, it’s fine, when I said we had time to sort ourselves out…I didn’t mean…” he looked away, “I didn’t mean together. I know…there’s Carmen…You and Varro…I’ve come to terms with that,” he assured her, “It’s okay, alright?”

She smiled and gave him a shaky nod.

“I’ve been coming to terms with a lot of things,” he explained to her. “Emily and I…there’s no way I’m going to be able to fix that, and I needed to move on. We all need to move on. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy but…I think, together…it’ll be easier.”

TJ watched him, her eyes glistening as he spoke.

“We’ll get through this, okay?”

“Yeah,” she said, her voice barely a whisper.

He then gestured to the letter, “Do you want me to call up any of the science team for this?”

TJ wiped the tears from her eyes, and cleared her throat, “No, I’ll…Tomorrow. I’ll contact them tomorrow,” she paused, “You won’t mind me taking them?”

“They’ll have priority here. You can have them as long as you need them,” He said, “I can’t promise that Rush won’t kick up a fuss but-”

She smiled, “He won’t.”

“Oh?”

“He’s the one who asked...uh the other me in the first place,” she said, “He knew what he was giving me when he brought me that letter.”

Young nodded, wondering how to respond to that when his radio crackled.

_“Eli to Colonel Young.”_

Young sighed, and TJ had to hide her laugh, “Colonel Young here,” he responded.

_“This stuff Rush gave me is _fantastic_.”_

“I’m on my way.”

He slipped off of the table and looked back at TJ, “Are you going to be alright?”

She nodded, “Yeah, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” he smiled.

~ RUSH ~

At the sound of his door beeping, Rush rolled out of bed. He’d have been annoyed if it weren’t five and a half hours since he’d gone to sleep, and he weren't already anxious to get back to work. He punched the door controls, turning back to his room with a sigh.

“Eli, I was-” 

"Rush?"

He turned to see Colonel Young standing in his doorway, holding two bowls. He raised an eyebrow, “You’re bringing me dinner now?”

Young smirked, “Eli is still working through your notes. I thought we could debrief over dinner seeing as we’re both behind schedule,” he stepped into the room, “Killing two birds with one stone, something I thought you would appreciate.”

“And the mess wouldn’t be the ideal debriefing room for such a conversation as this,” Rush answered.

Young inclined his head, “Well, do you want to discuss this over dinner in the mess?”

“No, quite right,” Rush grimaced.

Young stepped over to the table, “I hope we can agree on more things in the future.”

Rush scoffed, and closed his door, “I think you assume that this situation has changed our working relationship somehow but I can assure you that I find you as difficult to work with as I did before.”

Young’s eyes glinted as he sat, “I think you assume I’m so easily swayed, Rush. I can assure you that I have no misconceptions about our _working relationship_ …” he took a bite of one of the fruits in his bowl and smiled, “Not even after finding out we’re married in another universe.”

The way he said it, so carefully controlled, quiet, matter of fact-like, Rush felt the muscle in his cheek twitch. He tried to hide it with a smirk, a flick of his wrist and a sarcastic bite of, “Yes, well by all means, make yourself at home…”

He sat, and Young pushed his dinner towards him. He took a round, red fruit that looked like a grape and bit down on it, trying not to think about the texture or the disgusting, sour taste.

“So, want to explain to me what caused all of this?”

Rush shrugged, “The other Destiny has the capability to go out of phase with their reality, essentially making the ship invisible. It was a defence technique they’d created through adapting the shield and FTL drive. They phased out over the top of us, the wormholes overlapped and sent me to the wrong universe.”

Young’s eyes widened, “Other-you never said anything about that…”

“Probably because he didn’t know about it,” Rush snapped.

Young looked as if he wanted to ask another question but he paused, and gestured to the bruises on Rush’s cheek and neck, “So did you deserve that then?” he asked.

Rush had to smother the urge to touch them, “The one on my neck, yes,” he said, feigning a casual indifference, “The other…I tried to stop you, other-you, from destroying us all. I got this,” he pointed to his cheek, “For my troubles.”

“Well you saved us. We’re alive.”

“I didn’t succeed in stopping him.” he massaged his shoulder, “But, yes, we are alive. I still don’t know how. It’s a complete fluke, really. I warned him that it was dangerous. Instead he fucking drugged me and did it anyway. Both ships should have been destroyed in the process.”

“So you were sleeping off the drug’s effects?”

“Is that all you got from that? When I make a mistake you’re fucking furious but when you purposefully ruin everything it’s absolutely fine. And yes, I can’t bloody well work when my mind is half a pounding headache, and half a blur.”

“TJ could give you-”

“No more drugs! I’m fine.”

“Hey, alright, alright,” Young said, “So you spent most of the time just taking notes?

“Most of the time, yes. They’d solved a few things we hadn’t, and broken a few things we’ve yet to break,” he said, “I made notes so we could plan for the future.”

“TJ tells me you made notes on-”

“Yes, yes, medical advances they managed to download from Novus, some equipment, etc…etc…it’s all in my notebook.”

“And when you weren’t taking notes?”

“I was having to talk to people, Eli, Chloe and you mostly. Boring things, not worth mentioning…Oh and I played chess with Lt Johanson’s daughter.”

“You played chess with Carmen?”

“Yes, she’s surprisingly bright for her age,” he frowned, eating another piece of fruit, “I’m her teacher apparently. How I have time for that I will never know-” 

Rush stopped when he saw Young’s expression. He could tell the comment had caught him off guard. He suddenly looked detached, staring down at his bowl. Rush knew that look. He’d seen it in the mirror too many times. He didn’t like it. God, he wasn’t good with these things. He didn’t know what to say.

“She was happy,” he tried, his voice softening minutely, “They all were.”

Young looked up at him, and Rush didn’t have enough time to school his features back into their usual, hard-edged indifference before Young saw, and smiled at him. _Fuck._

“So you can be nice,” he said. 

Rush leant back in his chair, half-convinced Young had just manipulated him, and plopped another fruit into his mouth, before crossing his arms, “I can be nice,” he snapped, “I choose not to be. Are we done? I have a lot of work to do.” 

He stood up from the table.

Young raised an eyebrow, “You’ve not finished eating?”

“Yes, well, I find it difficult to stomach anything when you’re in the room.” 

He already knew it was a poor excuse for a retort before it was halfway out of his mouth but by then it was too late and Young had heard it for what it was: a hollow insult that failed to hide his unease. _Fuck._

Young smiled but didn’t say anything as he got up, carrying his empty bowl with him. He picked up Rush’s and walked to the door. Rush rubbed at his neck before following him out into the corridor.

“So, who came up with the phase-out?” Young asked after a moment of uncomfortable silence, “If your counterpart didn’t know about it…”

“I read-” he sighed, “I read your notes. What happened to Chloe…happened to you…to him.”

Young nodded, “Other-you suspected as much.”

“Did he now?” Rush sighed, “He should tread carefully there.”

Young gave him a questioning look.

“Other-you was not coping well. I’m surprised Lieutenant Johanson hasn’t had him demoted, and Wray taken over command.”

“That bad?”

“He’s the one that dialled this Destiny and recreated the parallel overlap, almost destroying us all. You tell me, would you do the same to get back one person?”

“No, I wouldn’t…”

“And we’re still not in the clear. There’s still a possibility that Destiny will suffer for this. Anything from either ship could have been phased in or out when we overlapped. And we won’t know until things go wrong. I can’t exactly run a diagnostic for something like this.”

“Okay, we’ll just have to wait it out then,” Young said, “I’ll tell everyone to stay alert.”

Rush shook his head, “There’s no point. We may not know for weeks if not months.”

“What do you suggest then?” Young asked.

“We keep it quiet.”

“Rush, we can’t do that. People need to know,” He said, “We have to set up some drills…”

As they entered into the control interface room Eli looked up from his work, and seeing them quickly began organising his notes.

Rush sighed, “Fine. But not too many, or they’ll just get in the way-”

“You know,” Eli said, interrupting him, “If you’re worried about us not being alert then we could always set up an alert system. Like red for critical and yellow for…” he paused, “Shit might go down? There could be a voice over the ship-wide comms too!” Eli offered.

Rush gave Eli an exasperated look, and crossed his arms.

“Just a suggestion,” Eli added quickly, before turning back to his monitor and muttering an exasperated, “Star Trek reference jeez. It worked for them…”

Rush stepped over to the console Eli was working at, “How far did you get?”

“Ah, halfway?” Eli said, wincing.

“Are you asking me or telling me that you got half-way?” Rush asked in annoyance.

“Ah,” Eli swallowed, “I’m telling you I got halfway and hoping you’re not going to smack me over the head. This stuff is _really_ difficult to understand and I’m struggling here okay?”

Rush took the notes off of Eli, “Understandably,” he said, “Seeing as most were designed by a Nakai-enhanced human.”

“Well I wish I could help,” Young said. 

Rush tried to hide his flinch at the comment with a roll of his shoulder, and pressed his thumb into the aching muscle there for good measure.  Young shrugged, “But I’m afraid my math is very limited. If you can believe it I almost failed the subject.”

“Oh I can believe it, Colonel,” Rush sneered.

He hated how automatically the acid leaked into his tone, but what he hated more was the knowledge that Young had taken specialist’s math. He knew it for a fact; he’d read his report. Young might have been failing but he was taking the hardest math his college could offer. He could never understand why the few intelligent military personnel there were always tried to dumb themselves down.

“Now if you wouldn’t mind,” Rush said, stepping around Eli to get a better look at his notes.

Young nodded, “Yeah, yeah, I’ll leave the geniuses to their work, then.”

“Much appreciated,” Rush said.

The smirk he received in response surprised him, and he looked away, staring down at his notes, pretending he hadn’t seen it. The colonel had missed him. The man was being strangely considerate, listening to his ideas, continuously diffusing the situation by side-stepping and backtracking…the damned man was trying his hardest not to upset him. Rush grimaced, wondering what the Colonel was up to, wondering how terrible his counterpart could have been for his snark to illicit such a pleased response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look a longer chapter! I hope you enjoyed it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Young sighed, “What’s he done now?”_
> 
> _Park grimaced, “Ah nothing unusual for him..."_

~ YOUNG ~

Young was working on a series of reports, namely the recent incident with the universe swap, when he noticed the silhouette standing in his doorway. He looked up to find Park standing unsurely, wringing her hands.

Young sighed, “What’s he done now?”

Park grimaced, “Ah nothing unusual for him. He just…He’s in one of his worse states and I was just wondering,” she winced, “for Volker’s sake, could you swap Brody or I with him?”

“What are you two working on?”

“Well, I’m about to go on break but Brody’s still working on the schematics for the more efficient shield harmonics from Rush’s notes.”

Young nodded, “And what’s Volker working on?”

“FTL drive and our power backups with Eli and Rush.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to Rush. You go on your break.”

“You sure, sir?” 

“Yeah, I’ll sort this out.”

Young got up as Park turned to leave. He stepped forwards and pressed his door control. He waited until the doors were closed before he picked up his radio.

“Young to Volker.”

_“Volker here.”_

“Park just finished her shift so Brody’s working on the shields alone. I want you to go help him, and try to speed up the process.”

There was a pause before Volker’s reply, _“Are you sure, sir? I thought…”_

“It’s more efficient if I split the science team up into pairs. Brody’s waiting for you.”

_“Ah yeah, okay…Colonel. Volker out.”_

Young shook his head and sat down, ready to continue his notes when his radio crackled.

 _“Thank you, Colonel,”_ came the Scottish drawl.

Young smiled, and wondered if Rush was answering on a private channel. Knowing him it was, and he’d also left the room just so Eli wouldn’t hear him say thank you. Young cleared his throat before answering.

“Don’t thank me Rush,” he replied in a monotone voice, “I want this ship running as efficiently as possible. I’m hoping to make a few changes around here.”

There was no answer. Young raised an eyebrow and after a moment called on the same channel.

“Rush?”

The man was quick to answer, _“Yes, of course,”_ he answered.

Young heard the intake of breath, and could imagine the man’s hand sneaking up to massage his neck, nervously. Young had to say he liked being able to surprise Rush. It was a nice change, being one step ahead of him.

 _“I uh have a diagnostic I need to run.”_    
“Of course,” Young replied, “Keep me posted.”

There was no reply.

That night Young had a surprisingly restful sleep. He thought he might have been jolted awake in the middle of the night but he assumed it was a dream. At 1900 hours Young woke to his door alarm. He got up, and let the person in. It was Rush and he looked more agitated than usual.

“You said you wanted me to keep you posted so,” Rush gestured to himself, “Here I am.”

Young blinked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and adopting a more professional stance.

“Last night at 0100 hours we discovered some problems.”

Young stiffened, “Problems Rush?”

Rush began pacing, “The FTL went offline for four hours. We didn’t discover the problem until about 0200 and it turns out I was right about the parallel overlap. Sections of our FTL and backup systems have disappeared, and a large chunk of hull merged with the life support.”

“Rush, you’re telling me this now!” Young demanded. “Are you saying you let me sleep through a potentially life-threatening situation.”

“Hardly life-threatening,” Rush scoffed, “It wouldn’t have been life-threatening for at least another couple of hours.”

Young had been so careful not to lose his temper with Rush. He’d been so careful to try and stay on his good side but God the man was infuriating.

“It doesn’t matter if you fixed it in time, Rush!” he exclaimed, “I’m your commanding officer and you need to tell me these things when they happen! It’s protocol!”

“Well I’m sorry if I was more focused on saving some of the ships systems rather than having a nice chat with you.”

“You could have sent somebody to explain.”

“I needed all the help I could get!” Rush snapped.

“Do _not_ tell me you let Volker help you,” Young growled, taking a step forward, “I know for a fact you refuse to work with the man no matter how dire the situation. So don’t give me that. You _could_ have sent him.”

Rush gritted his teeth but was smart enough to stay quiet.

Young sighed and turned from the man, running a hand over his face, “So how did you fix the problem?”

“Oh you wouldn’t understand,” Rush sneered.

“Then explain it slowly!” Young snapped.

“I rerouted systems, through other terminals and have a couple less important things sharing generators.”

“Less important things?”

“Showers, lighting in quarters, monitors in non-essential rooms etc…”

“So what we’re out of backup systems?”

“More like we’re on temporary backups to those backups.”

“This is not sounding like it was fixed, Rush.”

“It’s fixed for now. These backups will last for months if we don’t run into any Nakai, or drone ships, or any other problems.”

“If? Jesus…” Young ran a hand through his hair. God he needed a break, a fucking vacation, beaches, white sand, blue, calm unthreatening water. “What are the chances we’ll be left alone? Tell me you have a plan.”

“I do, but it will need priority.”

“And you’ll have it,” Young said, “But not today.”

Rush scoffed, “Not today? You do know how dire this is correct?”

“Yes, I do but today is TJ’s day.”

Rush stopped, and the harsh lines in his face softened.

“Just one day,” Young said, “We work through the cure, do what we can to start TJ off and then you can have any and all personnel working wherever you need or want them.”

Rush bit his lip, as if having to force himself not to retort. Eventually, he nodded, and turned to leave Young’s quarters.

“Oh and Rush?”

Rush turned back with a questioning look.

“You call me when there is a problem,” he ordered, “no matter the time.”

Rush pursed his lips and left.

~ RUSH ~

Rush was still working at his console when the science team trickled back into the control interface room. They were in a good mood, which was why Rush held his tongue. Obviously they were excited for TJ. He could understand that. But really? Was it necessary for all of them to have gone? It would have been more efficient if a couple had stayed behind to help him with Destiny’s systems…or well…worked on some while he worked on others. He wasn’t a team player but that didn’t mean that he would jeopardise efficiency over a stupid thing like that. Not always. Fine, he had some idiosyncrasies, he had some pet-peeves but when the ship you’re clinging to for your life begins falling apart around you, you focus on that, surely? TJ would still be there after they’d finished. She’d still be there…

Gloria’s face appeared in his mind, her smile, a memory of her quiet, reassuring presence…disappearing, fading…and he hadn’t been there-

Eli and Park were laughing. Brody watched in amusement, with a single, raised eyebrow, and Volker tried very hard to stay as composed as his friend but he was failing. Rush didn’t need to ask them, to know everything went well. He could see it in their faces. Of course there’d not be any definite news for a couple weeks, if not months but…TJ’s incurable disease could be cured. They had evidence of that from the parallel universe.

Perhaps, if he’d had time he could have…he could have downloaded more of the cures, more of the remedies and knowledge…he could have…If Gloria had lived a few more years he could have…

The memory of her soft words were warped by time, but he liked to think it still sounded like her when she reassured him, when she told him _“You can’t fix this, Nicholas.”_

He could have. If he’d had time. If he’d had the fucking time he could have saved her but it was too late now. Now, all he had was his work, all he had was this ship, and the knowledge it held…all he had was…

“If you’re all quite finished,” he growled, slamming his notebook down on a monitor.

They all turned to look at him, startled out of their happiness.

“This ship is falling apart. Can we _please_ focus on repairing it.”

The strained _please_ seemed to do the trick because they all set back to work without a single complaint. His hands were shaking when he picked his notebook up, and it was an effort to concentrate. After a while, though, all he saw were numbers and calculations and he didn’t hear Park excuse herself, and he didn’t hear Volker’s quiet: _“Do you think he’ll notice if we leave? It’s nearly one in the morning.”_

At about 0200 only Rush, Eli and Brody remained, and it was only then that Rush broke out of his blurred dream of numbers to notice. He didn’t comment on it, and instead asked for their progress. Together they’d managed to come up with several schematics ready to repair each broken system. Brody left half an hour later. When Rush and Eli had finished putting the life support system back together it was about 0330 and Eli was visibly wilting. It didn’t matter, they were almost done.

However, when Rush went to turn the backup off he paused, suddenly remembering a conversation he’d had not long ago.

“What?” Eli asked.

“Wait a moment,” he replied, getting up and walking the length of the hall to pull out his radio, “Rush to Colonel Young?” he said into it. There was no answer, so he tried again, “Rush to Colonel Young?”

 _“Young here,”_ the Colonel replied, sleepily, _“Do you realise the time, Rush?”_

Rush paused for a moment, “You told me to contact you if anything needed reporting,” he reminded the man.

 _“What happened?”_ his voice was urgent, suddenly awake.

“Nothing’s happened,” Rush replied, “Eli and I’ve just finished repairing the life support. We were about to turn off the backup.”

There was an audible sigh that crackled through the radio, which Rush was sure was unintentional, _“And this couldn’t wait until a more reasonable hour, Rush?”_ Young asked, exasperatedly.

Rush could imagine that the Colonel had his head in his hands. The thought annoyed him.

“Well I thought it would be better to put Destiny on its real systems as soon as possible lest we run into any life-threatening problems!” he growled.

There was a long pause in which Rush wasn’t sure the Colonel would answer; when he did, his voice was guarded, _“No, you’re right, Rush.”_

Rush raised an eyebrow. Was the Colonel listening to him for once? How…odd.

 _“I’ll be there in a moment,”_ Young continued, _“Don’t do anything until I get there.”_

“Understood,” he replied.

He wandered back to Eli who watched him with wide eyes, “Did you just ask Colonel Young’s permission?”

Rush hadn’t smoked in years but all of a sudden he felt the need to, to busy his hands, to have an excuse to prolong his answer, to come back with an appropriate retort. Instead he felt the inconvenient response of _‘shut up’_ rise in his throat. 

He only just managed to replace it with a tight-lipped, “Yes.”

When the Colonel finally arrived he looked understandably disheveled, and Rush felt an annoying pang of guilt. 

“Glad you could finally join us,” he said.

It had meant to be a firm, exasperation. The kind he used often, but his guilt at having woken the Colonel came through in the tone and his words ended up being too soft, and too amused. He froze. Eli’s head shot up at the words, and Rush tried very hard to pretend he hadn’t noticed, to pretend that he’d meant his words to sound like that. Rush knew Young was just as shocked as Eli because he didn’t respond for a moment. When he did, it was in the same, friendly tone. 

“Yes, well, I wasn’t expecting to be woken up at an ungodly hour.”

Rush didn’t respond, and instead began to recheck the wires and connections of the repaired system.

“So you have to turn off the backup for the fixed one to work?” Young asked.

“Yeah,” Eli responded, his voice slowed by fatigue, “But if the fixed system doesn’t work we just switch it off and turn the backup back on,” he yawned, “We’d have about 24 hours of residual oxygen left before there was a problem and it only takes a moment to switch over so…”

“So nothing _should_ go wrong?” Young asked with a frown.

“Nothing will go wrong,” Rush assured.

“Knock wood,” Eli said, unhelpfully.

Young sighed, “Alright, go ahead then. We won’t know until we try, I guess.”

Rush nodded, before flicking a switch. There was a buzzing sound as the system shut down, and then silence. After a moment Rush flicked another switch, and then picked up a remote monitor, watching bars of orange rise and fall, then rise again and remain steady as a soft buzz filled the air.

“It’s holding,” he informed the others.

“Oh, thank God!” Eli sighed, “Can I sleep now?”

“We should monitor-”

“No,” Young interrupted, “Eli’s exhausted, and I can’t even begin to imagine how you’re still thinking clearly with how sleep-deprived you must be, Rush. Both of you should head off to bed.”

Eli got up, “Thanks, Colonel,” he said before leaving.

“Colonel, someone needs to monitor this,” Rush complained, “We haven’t routed it back into the emergency alert systems yet. We’d have no warning-”

“Rush…”

“I’m not tired. I’ll-”

“Rush!” Young exclaimed, cutting him off, “I’ll monitor it.”

Rush looked up and frowned as Young knelt beside him, “You can’t…”

“And why not?” Young laughed, “It can’t be that hard,” he said, taking the monitor from him, “These bars mean everything’s fine, right? So if they drop then that’s bad.”

Rush nodded, “Below 20%-”

“And I switch it off and wait for a moment and then switch on the backup?”

“Yes…” Rush sighed, “Fine,” he relented, “But if-”

“I’ll have Brody take over once his next shift starts, okay?”

Rush clenched his jaw, “Alright,” he said as he stood up, “Don’t let-”

“I won’t let Volker work on it. Try to actually get some sleep,” Young told him, “Ship efficiency and all that.”

Rush didn’t know what to do then. He supposed he should turn and walk away but…Should he thank Young? Should he…say something. _Fuck_ the Colonel was staring.

“Alright,” he said, again, perhaps too firmly. 

He turned and headed in the direction of his quarters, having to concentrate on not wringing his hands or massaging his shoulder until he was out of the Colonel’s eyesight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this update took a while but here it is finally! I hope you enjoyed the chapter despite the wait. I'm having a bit of trouble with the next one but I'll work on it and try to get it posted soon. I know this chapter was a little dull but I promise the next one will be longer, as well as more interesting and entertaining. ;)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Eli’s eyes lit-up, “Oh my god, a drinking competition!” he exclaimed._
> 
> _Young smirked._
> 
> _But Rush looked horrified, “What?”_
> 
> _“Between you and the Colonel!” Eli clarified._

~ YOUNG ~

A month later, when all of Destiny’s systems were back online and in running order, TJ found Young in his quarters. She told him through tears of joy that she’d finished the cure and taken it. It was _fantastic_ news, and it was all the excuse he needed. No one had died recently and the ship hadn’t been attacked in months, Destiny was running as efficiently as it had in a long while, and now TJ had her cure? They were goddamn throwing a party. It was well and truly time they let down their guard and relaxed for an evening.

Most of the crew were ecstatic at hearing the news. Eli had almost hyperventilated himself into sick-bay, Park and James went into a frenzied attempt to drag Chloe into their limited wardrobes, and Wray offered to run the ship while Young relaxed. It was almost difficult for Young to tell Eli he needed him to stay sober for the night too. But Eli knew there was another scientist who needed the night off more than he did, and so he didn’t complain…much.

“If you waste this opportunity to get drunk I will be very mad,” Eli shouted, over the music blasting out of the ship’s intercom.

“What?” Rush scoffed, “Why?”

“Because I could be getting drunk in your place!” Eli complained.

Rush waved a hand, “Feel free too.”

Young stepped in, “No, I’ve ordered Eli to remain sober for the night.” he said, before giving Eli a look, “But it’s up to Rush on whether or not he drinks, Eli.”

“Glad I have that decision,” Rush said, sarcastically, “Now, I’m going back to work.”

Young grabbed his sleeve before he could leave, “Not a chance,” Young ordered, “You’re staying here.”

Rush glared at him.

“Come on Rush,” Greer exclaimed, louder and happier than any of them had seen him in a while - though perhaps that had to do with the alcohol, “You’re Scottish, doesn’t that mean you can drink us all under the table, man?”

Rush sighed, “I’d rather not.”

Eli’s eyes lit-up, “Oh my god, a drinking competition!” he exclaimed.

Young smirked.

But Rush looked horrified, “What?”

“Between you and the Colonel!” Eli clarified.

“No.”

“Come on Rush!” Park said, hanging onto Greer’s arm, “Almost all of us are drinking.”

The woman’s words didn’t phase Rush so Young smirked, “Are you really going to pass up an opportunity to beat me at something?” he asked.

Rush’s eyes shot up to meet his, and he scoffed, “You seem awfully confident that you would win, Colonel.”

Young grinned, “On the contrary,” he admitted, “I don’t really care, either way.”

“I doubt that,” Rush said, eyeing the glasses Brody had just placed on the table in front of them.

“Find out,” Young bated.

Rush watched him, unsurely, before his eyes flicked back to the alcohol.

Wray, who had stepped over as soon as she’d heard ‘drinking game’, placed a hand on his arm, “Do you really think this is a good idea, sir?” she asked.

Young leant over, “It’s good for morale, Camille.”

“Not if their captain makes a fool of himself, or is hungover during an emergency,” she replied.

“It’s all in good fun, Camille, and if there’s an emergency you’ll be captain in that situation,” Young reminded her, “Don’t tell me you want to pass up this opportunity of command?”

“No…well…” she frowned.

“Tell me now if you don’t think you can take it because I’ll put my jacket back on and you can begin drinking,” Young laughed, “And don’t even pretend you don’t hope I’m hungover tomorrow so you can stay in command.”

She smiled, “Fine,” and then she turned to the rest of them, “What are the rules?”

Young turned to see Rush holding his glass, and staring at him with an amused, yet determined look, “Last man standing?” he asked.

Young smirked, “Sure,” he said, without taking his eyes off Rush, “Camille keep count. We’re going to lose that ability soon enough.”

“THIS IS SO COOL,” Eli said, bouncing on the spot.

They both downed their first glass, and Eli bounded off to get more for them. Young laughed as Eli made a quick detour to find Chloe and Scott, who were in the midst of the dancing crowd.

After a moment Eli was back with more alcohol, and Chloe and Scott by his side, also carrying glasses.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this, sir,” Scott said.

“Don’t tell me you disapprove, Lieutenant,” Young replied with a laugh.

“The good Lieutenant, wouldn’t dare,” Greer said, pulling Scott into a one-armed hug, “Ain’t that right, sir?”

Scott raised an eyebrow, “How much have you been drinking?”

Greer smirked, “Not enough!”

Rush raised an eyebrow at Greer and Scott, as Eli placed a drink in his outstretched hand.

“I’m gonna quiz you guys, okay?” Eli asked, excitedly.

Young grimaced, “No, Eli…” he said just as Rush turned on Eli with an exasperated look.

“We’re trying to enjoy ourselves,” Rush complained.

“Come on, it’ll be fun!” 

Chloe laughed, “Eli…?”

“No, no,” Eli said, “Come on, guys, it’s the least you can do if I’m not allowed to drink. What’s your favourite colour?”

“You’ve got to be joking?” Young scoffed.

Rush simply stared.

“Not joking. Go!”

“Green,” Young replied, before turning to Rush.

Rush downed his drink, and without looking at them sighed, “Yellow.”

“Okay,” Eli grinned, “Which Star Trek captain is your favourite?”

Young shrugged, downing a drink to catch up to Rush, “Captain Kirk, I guess…I don’t know any of the others.”

Rush leant against the wall, “Remind me, whose who?”

Eli’s eyes widened, excitedly, at the fact Rush was taking his question seriously, “Kirk, original series, Picard, who runs the fourth version of the Enterprise, played by Patrick Stewart, Sisko’s from that weird space station version, Captain Janeway, lost in space…kinda like us actually.”

Rush looked down at his drink, “Janeway.”

“What really?”

Rush nodded, not looking up from his glass.

Young knew that look, and god help him if he was going to let Rush wallow in his past. He clapped a hand on Eli’s shoulder, distracting him, “Okay, now why don’t you go and dance or something Eli…let us drink in peace?”

Young noticed Rush look up to watch him. Young wondered if the scientist was grateful or annoyed by his response. He hoped the former.

“No, no!” Eli complained, “I have more questions.”

The crowd watching them dissipated as people went off to dance or got bored with Eli’s questions. Chloe and Wray had guided Park through the crowd to where James, TJ and Varro were dancing and had proceeded to make a dancing circle so Park didn’t feel left out. Scott and Greer stayed back, having a quiet conversation between them.

“Would you rather be attacked by a hundred duck size horses or one horse sized duck?”

Young was broken out of his reverie by the question, “What?”

Eli laughed, and Young turned to frown at Rush. The scientist rolled his eyes.

“What the fuck Eli?” Greer asked, jumping back into the conversation.

“Language,” Rush warned.

Everyone turned to stare at Rush.

“What?” he snapped.

Eli grinned, “Dude you just told Greer off for swearing? You swear five billion times more than all of us put together.”

“An exaggeration,” Rush complained, watching as Chloe pulled Scott and Greer back into the dancing crowd.

“Only just,” Young laughed.

Rush attempted to hide the smile behind his glass but he didn’t succeed and Young shook his head. 

Then the questions continued…

“Favourite food?”

“Pasta,” Young replied.

“I don’t have one,” Rush answered.

“What?” Eli demanded, “How can you not have a favourite food?”

“I just don’t…”

And Young began to lose track of the time, let alone the amount of drinks he’d had…songs morphed into other songs, rock to punk to pop and back to rock, and Eli still kept up with his questions.

“Favourite movie?”

“You know this one!” Rush growled.

“…and the Sundance Kid,” Young slurred.

“Right, yeah, okay,” Eli laughed, “What else then?”

Young ran a hand through his hair, trying to think clearly, “Ah…”

“Stah Wars Episode V: The Empiah Strikes Back,” Rush said in one breath, hardly slurring any of his words.

Eli spluttered, and Young couldn’t help laughing at the boy’s expression.

“Y-You…You like Star Wars!?” Eli exclaimed, “Let alone that, you know what it’s called!?” then he gave an approving nod, “Also, good choice!”

Young was still laughing, and good god he didn’t think he could stop, “Cowboys in space…” he managed, “That’s the only reason.”

Rush turned on him, “Whas’your other favourites then?”

Young frowned as he thought for a moment, “Contact.”

“Total Recall,” Rush countered.

“Fifth Element,” Young replied.

“Forbidden Planet.”

“Alien!” Young exclaimed, pointing at Rush, knowing the man couldn’t beat that.

Rush smirked at him, “Space Odyssey.”

Damn.

Eli was crying from laughter, “You’re only listing Sci-Fi movies. Also, OH MY GOD you’re both such nerds. How have you managed to keep this from me, all this time?”

Young was stuck on Eli’s words of ‘only listing Sci-Fi’. “Weren’t we meant to?”

Rush turned to Eli, “Does a documentary count?”

Eli laughed, “No. Okay, next question. Now that I know you’re both such nerds. I gotta ask…Which _Thing_ movie? The 50s one, _‘The thing from another World’_ or the 80s one _‘The Thing’_?”

“80s,” Young said, having not seen the 50s version.

Rush shook his head, “Neither one. The 30s version is better.”

Eli gasped, “You’ve read _Who Goes There?_ Nobody’s read the book.”

“Well,” Rush shrugged, “I’ve read th’book.”

“God, I’m gonna faint,” Eli said, and Young wasn’t altogether convinced he was joking, “Chloe!” Eli exclaimed as she returned to their table, “Take over, I can’t do this anymore. They’ve broken me!”

Chloe grinned, “Alright,” she turned to the two of them, “Pirates or Ninjas?”

Young turned to Rush, “I didn’ think it’could get worse.”

“If it can,” Rush sighed, “It will.”

“Come on,” Chloe laughed.

“Pirates,” they said in unison.

“Favourite sex position!” Eli suddenly exclaimed, jumping back in.

“Eli!?” Young growled.

Rush laughed, “We’re not tha’ drunk.”

Young laughed, feeling his glass slip from his hand.

Chloe caught it and put it on the table, “Perhaps you two should head to your quarters?”

“Nonsense,” Rush mumbled.

“One more question, okay? One more.” Eli turned to Chloe, as if asking her permission.

She shrugged, and gestured to Young and Rush.

Eli grinned, “From a scale of one to ten what’s your favourite colour in the alphabet?” he asked.

Young blinked, “What?”

Rush seemed unfazed, “Out of primary colours?”

Eli laughed, “Uh, yeah…sure.”

Chloe leant over to whisper in Eli’s ear and Young wondered if the question was as impossible as it sounded or if he was just too drunk to understand.

“Can y’repeat th’question?” he asked.

Eli attempted to keep a straight face, “From a scale of one to-“

“Shut up!” Rush exclaimed, raising a hand, and looking as if he was concentrating.

“Rush…” Eli said, looking a little worried, “You can’t actually-”

“No, no, I’ve almost got it.”

“Rush?”

“F8.79,” Rush responded after a moment, meeting Eli’s eyes with a determined look.

Eli blinked, “What?” he asked, turning to Young. 

Young shrugged.

“Tha’s the answer,” Rush replied.

Chloe was laughing, leaning against Eli’s shoulder. The poor boy just looked confused, and unsure whether he should laugh or consider his own ridiculous question. Then she patted his head.

“Come on,” she said to him, “You haven’t danced all night. You owe me.”

Eli smiled, having, happily forgotten what he was doing, “Alright!” he agreed.

Scott clapped a hand on both Rush and Young’s shoulders as Eli and Chloe ran off, “Okay, I think it’s time you two headed off to bed.”

Young nodded, placing his glass down, “Yeah.”

“No, I’m-”

“Rush, come on,” Young muttered, “N’more arguing.”

Rush met his eyes, and after a moment he nodded.

“Do you want me to help you guys?” Scott asked.

“Nah I’ve got it, Lieuten’an,” Young managed to stand but then he wavered and Rush caught him by the arm.

“An’ if he doesn’, Lieutenant,” Rush said, “I do.”

Young frowned at Rush, who held him steady. They walked out of the room, and down the corridor. Young leaning against Rush as little as possible.

Young sighed, still frustrated that he couldn’t understand Eli’s question or Rush’s answer, “Rush,” he began.

“Yes?”

“Eli’s question didn’make any sense…your answer…you made that up.”

Rush laughed, “Of course I fuckin’ made it up.”

They reached Young’s quarters and Rush dropped Young onto his bed. Young let himself lay back, and listened to the music playing. Everyone who’d been lucky enough to have an ipod or CD or thumb-drive with music on it had given it to Eli to set up a dancing playlist. They’d made a pretty impressive list considering. His list had been small. All he had was what was on his thumb drive.

Rush returned and stared down at him, “You’re no’ actually pissed ‘re ye?”

Young blinked, “Not as much as I’d’ve liked,” he slurred back.

Rush smirked, “I know the feeling.”

Young frowned, “S’unfair.”

“What is?”

“You don’ sound drunk.”

“I’ve had _enough_ ,” Rush replied.

“You only sound…more Scottish.”

Then the music changed, and Young recognised the song as Disorder by Joy Division. He sat upright, and then groaned, holding his head but good lord so help him, this was a song he liked, a song he hadn’t heard since leaving Earth, and God he needed to…he needed to damn well enjoy it. He stood, and almost fell forwards. Rush caught him.

“What?” he asked.

“This song,” Young said, already beginning to nod along with the drumbeat.

“One of yours?” Rush asked.

“No, but I- I haven’heard it in a long time,” Young said over the music.

“Must say I’m surprised,” Rush said.

“Stop being surprised,” Young laughed, shoving him away as he swayed to the beat.

Rush frowned, and stared at Young.

Young smirked and stared right back at Rush. He might have cared that Rush was watching him like this…he might have cared once, but not now, not now when his music was playing and he felt better than he had in a long, long while. Dancing always seemed to free him. He didn’t have to worry about what was going on or what he’d done wrong, and good lord if Rush couldn’t let go like this, then there was no hope for the man.

“Come on, Rush!” he called over the music, pulling him toward him.

Rush stumbled and his eyes widened as Young put a hand on his hip, helping him sway, pulling him into the rhythm of the song. He was still tense, though.

“Relax,” Young ordered.

The scientist attempted to. Young could see him trying to concentrate…Rush grimaced, and Young pulled him forwards, catching his face in his hands, making the man look at him.

“You’re trying too hard,” he said, “Stop thinking.”

He pulled him closer as they swayed to the music, and when Rush finally seemed as if he was getting it Young grinned.

“See?”

Rush stared at him, his eyes glazed and he didn’t speak. He was still too ridged so Young placed a hand over his face. 

“Close your eyes.”

When he’d taken his hand away Rush had done just that. Young did the same, and held Rush, and let the drums, and guitars take them away, pull them out of his quarters, out of Destiny, out into the damned darkness between stars, out into the chaos.

He felt Rush’s hand go to his waist, felt the man’s hair against his shoulder. Their cheeks brushed, and their hips bumped. Young’s hand found Rush’s neck, his fingers twirled in the scientist’s hair. Young was singing to the music. He didn’t know how well or how badly. He couldn’t care less. He’d forgotten where he was, who he was, and that was the point.

The symbols smashed, the drums slowed, the music faded and there was silence for a moment. Young opened his eyes to see Rush staring at him. He looked unsure, his brow furrowed. Young felt the man’s unsteady heart-beat from where his hand was on his chest. Rush was beginning to pull away…

Then another song started up, a soft hum, interrupted by drums, another song by Joy Division, a slower one this time; he couldn’t believe his luck.

Rush tried to pull away.

“Don’t go,” Young begged.

He pulled the man back to him. Rush let him. Young held him in his arms, gently rocking him back and forth with the music. Rush’s hands slowly moved up to his shoulders, and his back, clutching the material there. His cheek lay against Young’s shoulder. The illusion had been broken…he knew what he was doing…he knew he shouldn’t…and yet he didn’t care…he…

He didn’t want Rush to go. He didn’t want Rush to walk way. He wanted to hold onto him, to keep him here. He wanted Rush to talk to him, to relax for once, to let go of the past. He was so tired of arguing, or thinking about what had happened. He wanted to live in the now, to change things…he wanted to understand Rush so he could help him change things too. He wanted Rush to be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You do not know how long I have been looking forward to writing and posting this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Finally we seem to be getting somewhere. ;) Please leave a comment and tell me what you think!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _He climbed to his feet and turned to look at the Colonel, who was spread-eagled on his stomach, still in his clothing from the night before. The man looked too calm and too vulnerable fast asleep. Rush felt the urge to shake him awake but decided that such an action would only end in an argument…_

~ RUSH ~

Rush awoke, at first slowly, and then all of a sudden with the worrying realisation that he was on a couch, on someone else’s couch. He looked up and recognised the Colonel’s quarters. _Fuck._ He began to remember the night before, of drinking, of getting drunk and ending up alone with Young in his quarters…and they’d…they’d fucking danced. _Fuck_. Rush gritted his teeth and sat up, massaging his pounding head.

He climbed to his feet and turned to look at the Colonel, who was spread-eagled on his stomach, still in his clothing from the night before. The man looked too calm and too vulnerable fast asleep. Rush felt the urge to shake him awake but decided that such an action would only end in an argument…and really, he had no intention of talking to the man…ever again. Not until he was properly showered and dressed at least, not until he had reaffirmed complete, unwavering control of the swirling mass that was his hungover thoughts. 

He not only felt unsure about the night’s events, but suspicious and uneasy concerning the Young’s intentions.

He grimaced, before heading to the showers, hoping to wash the sweat and alcohol from himself before he went back to work. Once he was cleaned up he made his way to the research lab, and was thankful that Young hadn’t contacted him _yet_ \- because really, whether he liked it or not the Colonel was going to find him and demand they talk.

He couldn’t shake his unease. He felt as if the whole situation had played out exactly how Young had planned. The damned man had wanted to get him drunk, he was sure of it. It must have been an attempt to work his way under Rush’s defences. He’d almost fucking succeeded too. 

Rush had known it was a bad decision from the start but something had possessed him to go along with it, despite his misconceptions. Young had probably thought he hadn’t noticed his baiting comment but he had. He’d simply chosen to go with it. It wasn’t why he agreed to the drinking competition…it was simply just a way to justify it.

No, what had made him agree had been Eli’s smile, his glee, the encouragement of the others…the use of his name in a friendly environment, a need to just let go and quiet his noisy head. He’d forgotten what it was like and he hadn’t realised he’d missed it. But when he’d seen his counterpart’s world…and the way everyone had treated him, he’d remembered.

Damn the whole _fucking_ experience!

The universe - or universes because that was apparently plural now! - were out to get him, he was sure of it.

You couldn’t crave something you didn’t remember, and now…He had always been an introverted person. He’d been described as ‘machiavellian’ but he liked to think of that particular trait as ‘logical’ instead. Nevertheless, that and an introverted personality made him a difficult person to communicate with. He understood that, and he was comfortable with that. It made it easier not to care. It was just…too painful to care. 

But that damned other universe had made him rethink his decisions on the matter.

Caring was a vulnerability. He’d let his guard down for an evening and Young had attempted to wriggle his way under his skin. It was a good thing he was so observant, and had noticed Young’s manipulation for what it was.

He began to piece things together as he thought over the night. The Colonel had been trying to befriend him from the moment he’d returned. He’d been oddly patient, and damnably reasonable. There were only two, logical reasons behind Young’s actions: 1) He was attempting to limit hostility between them to increase ship productivity for the sake of crew morale or 2) He was attempting to manipulate Rush into a false sense of security, before he got rid of him. 

The second seemed more likely considering their past relationship.

Befriending him in front of the entire crew would likely be enough to dismiss any and all accusations that Young was the one to do away with him. The fact Young had given him such access and freedom across the ship also reinforced this outcome; Young probably wished him to fix as much as possible _before_ he “disappeared”.

It made him wonder how Young would do it.

A cough from the doorway broke him from his reverie and he looked up to find Lieutenant Scott standing in the doorway. When the Lieutenant neither spoke nor moved from his position Rush crossed his arms.

“Has Colonel Young asked you to watch me?” he asked.

Scott jolted, “Uh no, sorry…I…” he paused, wiping his hand across his mouth nervously, as he stepped into the room.

Rush eyed him curiously, waiting for the man to elaborate.

Scott licked his lips, “I, uh, was wondering if I could get some advice, actually.”

Rush raised an eyebrow, “The Colonel would probably be a better man to consult.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Scott responded, obviously thinking the same thing, “It’s just I don’t think he’d appreciate it…I don’t…”

“Get to the point, Lieutenant.”

“I was wondering how I should propose to Chloe,” the man blurted.

Rush was so shocked by the statement his notebook slipped from his hand and fell to the floor. Scott frowned, unsurely, as Rush smothered the urge to wince. He was normally better at hiding his reactions. The lack of a reaction seemed to intimidate people - it was the best course scenario in his opinion - and yet…Scott seemed oddly more terrified with his uncharacteristic reaction.

Interesting…

The Lieutenant ran a hand across the back of his neck, “Um or…well, how you think I should propose…” he added, looking a shade or two paler.

Rush didn’t reply straight away, and instead stooped to pick up his notebook. If he was honest, he wasn’t sure how he felt about Scott’s question but it certainly was not happiness. Rush had never liked Scott, not that he liked many people; People were selfish and boring…and Lieutenant Mathew Scott wasn’t much better. He was a terrible second-in-command and Rush still didn’t understand why Greer hadn’t been promoted. He’d have promoted Greer if he were in charge, not that he and the man shared any special liking towards one another…but they had come to a comfortable understanding; unlike he and Colonel Young. Greer was a quick thinker, a man who could make the hard decisions - just like him - a man who was loyal to a fault, brave beyond belief, and, for all intents and purposes, a good man.

Scott was a good man too, but just not much of one. He made bad decisions. He was impulsive, he had questioned orders multiple times, and he was quick to change his mind - Rush was sure James and Scott had been together up until Chloe’s father had died, and then the Lieutenant had suddenly switched his interests without explanation, or at least it seemed that way with the murderous looks James shot Scott’s way. Scott was also not the brightest, nor the bravest man Rush knew, far from it.

He would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the Lieutenant’s uncertainty and fearful stammering.

“And you could not have asked the Colonel this question because…?” Rush prompted.

“Ah well…” Scott stumbled once more, “He’s just going through a divorce and I thought he might be a little…sensitive when it came to the subject. I thought it would be better to ask you, seeing as you’ve been married and it was a while ago-” Scott stopped and bit his lip, realising his mistake, “Uh…I mean not that you don’t still feel anything for her. I’m sure you loved- love her very mu-”

“Lieutenant!” Rush snapped, unable to listen to anymore of his rambling.

“I-I should go,” Scott replied, realising that repairing the situation was beyond his capabilities.

Rush, who had maintained a rather perfect poker face throughout the entire ordeal, answered with a monotone, “Perhaps you should, Lieutenant.”

Chloe deserved more, she deserved better. Chloe had a chance to do something with herself. She already had been before the Nakai messed around in her head. She was already smart, and Rush was convinced she’d always had the capability to learn the things that had been given to her; Otherwise why else would the Nakai have chosen her over him? Chloe could go places, and Scott? He’d hold her back. But…

She did love him.

“Lieutenant?” 

Scott paused and spun on his heel, “Yes, Rush?”

“Something simple,” he replied, “If you want it to be a surprise don’t do anything special at all that day, not until afterwards…there’s always time for that afterwards. The observation deck might…might be nice.”

Scott blinked, “Uh…thanks, Rush,” he replied, unsurely.

“Do you have a ring?”

“No, I was just…” Scott frowned, “I thought when we got back we could make it official…If she says yes, that is.”

His heart skipped a beat, anxiety bubbling in his chest. The cord around his neck suddenly became very noticeable. His ring had been lost after his capture with the Nakai but Gloria’s hadn’t. He had hers close to his heart now. He absent-mindedly clutched the ring through his shirt, and tried very hard not to think of her smile as he clenched his jaw and made up his mind. Rush stepped around his console and walked towards the Lieutenant, unhooking the cord from his neck. He snapped the thread, and let the ring drop into his hand, before holding it out to the man. 

“It- It might need adjusting to fit her hand, but I’m sure Brody can help with that.”

Scott ran a hand through his hair, “Woah Rush I couldn’t…I-”

“Take the damn ring!” Rush snapped.

Scott hurriedly scooped it up, “Are you sure?” he grimaced, “Thank you, Rush, I-”

But Rush had turned his back and returned to his console. He didn’t want to hear anymore from the Lieutenant. He was busy. After a moment of silence Scott left, and thank god for that. If anything Rush’d given the ring to him just to shut him up! Not because he condoned the wedding, not because he thought Chloe would like it, not because…

He was ready to move on…

~ YOUNG ~

Young had known Rush was avoiding him from the moment the scientist had refused to answer his calls via radio. This he might have deemed normal behaviour if Young hadn’t seen for himself in the last several weeks that Rush could in fact be reasonable when he wanted to be. So, yes, it was quite obvious Rush was avoiding him. Why, though, was still not wholly clear to Young.

Sure, Rush was a closed off guy but it wasn’t like they’d had a heart-to-heart or anything. They’d merely danced; Young had merely attempted to loosen Rush up, to try and get him to relax. Perhaps holding him was a bit much but he’d been drunk. At least he hadn’t done something more regrettable like kiss the man, or tell him about his issues with his wife or god-forbid ask Rush about his own wife. At least he’d been reasonably cautious in that regard.

So in the end, when he had gone to look for Rush, he had to ask five different people where the scientist was, and even then it took him a good several hours in-between shifts to locate the man. Rush had been avoiding him for over a week and Young was beginning to suspect that getting drunk with Rush hadn’t been the best idea. Yes, the dancing had perhaps…not been the most platonic thing he’d done with another person but they were drunk, there was music…he’d just wanted to get closer to Rush and that had translated over into his drunken mind as…well as it had.

Rush was under a console on the bridge when Young found him. He knocked on the door and watched as Rush looked up from what he was doing, and then sat up, wiping his hands on a cloth.

“I knew you were good with computers but I didn’t know you were such a mechanic at heart,” Young joked, gesturing to Rush’s grease-covered hands.

Rush didn’t look up at him, “Equipment crashes a lot in the SGC. You pick it up. Maths helps.”

Young nodded, waiting for a moment, wondering if it was safe to continue, “About the other night…”

Rush’s eyes shot up to meet his, “Don’t,” he warned, “We were drunk.”

Young frowned, “Yes, but Rush I-”

“Nothing happened.”

“I’m not here to apologise Rush, I’m-”

“Not here to apologise?” Rush growled, pushing himself up from the floor, “You got me drunk and then you-”

“And then I what, Rush?” Young exclaimed, “We danced. That’s it…And I didn’t get you drunk. We both got drunk.”

Rush scowled, “You dance like that with Lieutenant Scott, then?”

Young scoffed, “Well, no…” he threw up his hands, “But, Rush, we were drunk. I-”

“Why the fuck are you here?” Rush snapped.

Young sighed, “You’ve been avoiding me for over a week…” he began again, deflating, “I was just coming to see if you were alright…”

“I’m grand,” Rush growled, sarcastically, “Is that all?”

“Rush, if I made you uncomfortable, I’m sorry. I hadn’t meant to…” he looked away, running a hand through his hair. 

“Just leave it.”

“I can’t just leave it,” Young answered.

“I know what you’re trying to do!”

“What?” Young asked, frowning, “What am I trying to do, Rush? Enlighten me.”

“Don’t give me that bullshit,” Rush snapped, “You’re trying to lure me into a false-sense of security.”

“Are you joking?” Young asked, in frustration, “You idiot, I’m trying to be your friend!” he explained, “I’m trying to make this work.”

“Not too long ago you struggled to speak to me, to even be in the same room as me,” Rush snarled, “and now you suddenly want to be my friend? Even with the “rockslide” notwithstanding, can you understand how that might seem a little bit suspicious?”

Young thought about that and nodded, “Okay, I understand but…”

“Did my counterpart suddenly give you a conscience in regards to me or something? Or is it because other ‘us’ are lovers and they’re living their happily ever after, and you’re jealous?”

“Rush!” Young growled, exasperatedly, “It’s because my counterpart got to know you and understand you and I realised that I never gave you a chance. I never got to know you, and I’d like to.”

Rush gave a harsh smirk, “If I didn’t know any better I’d say it sounded like you were developing a crush on me,” he said, sarcastically.

“I’m serious, Rush!”

“Next,” Rush laughed, darkly, “You’ll be calling me Nicholas.”

“Rush!” Young growled.

“Colonel, as I said before I am perfectly comfortable with our previous arrangement. I don’t want to be your friend. I don’t want to get to know you,” he snarled, “Whatever you saw in that other Rush that you liked _so very much_ it’s not in me. He isn’t me, and I am not him.” Rush turned away.

Young shook his head in disbelief, “Are you saying that you saw nothing in that other Young that made you reconsider our situation?” he asked, “If we got to know each other perhaps we could agree more…” Young stepped forward and grabbed Rush’s shoulder, spinning him around, “We could work together, instead of always against each other. How could it do anything but make the situation better? Not just for us but for the crew, too.”

Rush shrugged his hand off, and laughed coldly, “Are you trying to convince me to go on a date with you for the sake of the crew, Colonel?”

“Rush…” Young gritted his teeth, and turned away.

He was so fucking tired of this…he had thought he was getting somewhere with Rush but whenever he managed to see a glimpse of the man he closed up again. Maybe, he didn’t want Young poking around in his head and fair enough but surely Rush couldn’t be happy like this.

“Whatever bit of decency you found in him…it isn’t in me, Colonel.”

Young turned back on him, “I like to think it is.”

Rush scoffed, “Well…I don’t plan on giving you the chance to find out. To put it simply, I don’t trust you, and even if I did, I don’t do heart-to-hearts.”

“So what, we pretend like this never happened?”

“That what happened?” Rush asked, “It’s not like we were ever friends.”

“They were,” Young snapped.

“Yes, well,” Rush looked away, “We’re not them, are we?”

“No, I guess not.” Young answered, eventually.

Perhaps they’d done too many terrible things to one another to come back from, or perhaps the universe had some kind of deadline for this kind of thing, and they’d passed the point of no return. Whatever the hell it was…he’d be damned if he’d let it stop him from trying. And just like that, all his restraint, all the energy it took to have calm conversations with Rush, all his carefully controlled reactions, all the attempts to make the man feel comfortable and accepted…they all went out the _fucking_ window as he snapped.

“You know what Rush?” He snarled, “I think you’re violently against being happy because you’re comfortable being alone, and comfortable being alone because it’s familiar!” He threw up his hands, “You wouldn’t know what to do with friends! You wouldn’t know what to do with being happy!” he clenched his fists and had to hold himself back from punching the damned man, “You’re lonely because you think you like it. You think it’s safe. But look at yourself…You. Are. _Miserable._ I’m not asking you on a date, you idiot! I’m asking you to relax, to let someone in…Fucking hell. It doesn’t have to be me! Just…” he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, “Just…somebody. You’re going to have to open up to somebody, someday Rush, because…it’s getting harder and harder for the people around you to care…”

When Young had finished Rush simply stared at him, his face unreadable, “Are you done?”

Young sighed, “Yeah, I’m done, Rush,” he said, turning and walking out of the room.

“Don’t give up your day job, Colonel!” Rush called after him, “You’d make a shite psychologist!”

Young clenched his hands into fists. Damn him. He should give up, he should well and truly hate the man but he couldn’t forget that small smile Rush had given him, while they were dancing…that naked, unsure, smile…Damn, the man, damn parallel universes, damn both Rush’s, damn, damn, fucking damn it all to hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you wanted a...happier response but...this is _Rush_ we're talking about. Give him some time. I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Please leave a comment.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Rush was working at a console when Eli passed him by and placed a thumb-drive by his hand._
> 
> _“What’s this then?” Rush asked, picking it up, and fingering the label on it; his name staring back up at him._
> 
> _Eli stopped and turned back, “Your thumb-drive.”_
> 
> _Rush grimaced, “Eli, this is’t mine.”_

~ RUSH ~

It had taken Rush three days to work the anger out of his system. He’d spent three days pacing and arguing with Eli, ignoring Volker, and going through equations on his wall-turned-chalkboard, and also growling and muttering to himself. In the end he relented a little and thought about the situation logically. The Colonel hadn’t actually shown any signs of trying to manipulate him so far, and in the past he’d tried again and again to put their arguments behind them. Rush had been the one to fuck it up.

He wouldn't admit it aloud but the memory of the night scared him; He’d been so close to letting go of his tightly coiled defences. He’d been so close to letting himself give into Young…and whatever it was the man was offering. He couldn’t let go of the thought that Young might be trying to manipulate him but he _had_ been wrong in the past. He didn’t know if this was paranoia or logic talking. His aching shoulder told him it was anxiety fuelling his suspicions, and his shaking hands told him it was insomnia addling his thoughts. But that didn’t mean he was wrong!

However, if Young _did_ intend on hurting him wouldn’t he have done it by now?

He had only shown kindness, only shown acceptance. It hurt Rush to think that the man was trying to be his friend. It hurt him because he couldn’t understand it, couldn’t comprehend what kind of thing might change the man’s mind. No one liked him, and those who did were either lying, or were too stupid or kind to see the man standing in front of them for what he was: a mess.

He buried himself in his work, and tried to ignore the anxiety bubbling in his veins and telling him to run. He clenched his jaw and continued on, and told himself he’d think about the problem later, when he had, in fact, no intention of doing so at all. It calmed his nerves a little, either way.

Rush was working at a console when Eli passed him by and placed a thumb-drive by his hand.

“What’s this then?” Rush asked, picking it up, and fingering the label on it; his name staring back up at him.

Eli stopped and turned back, “Your thumb-drive.”

Rush grimaced, “Eli, this is’t mine.” 

“Well it had your name on it,” he shrugged.

Rush sighed and pocketed the thumb-drive, going back to work. After a moment he looked up, “Where did you find it?”

“Well you know how music from the party came from everyone’s stashes; I assumed yours was just part of the pile…yeah, I thought it odd when I saw your name on it. I didn’t remember seeing it on the night. Though, that’s not saying much. I’ve been going around trying to give all the CDs and thumb-drives back to people - I say all,” Eli laughed, “There was only about-”

Rush glared.

“Okay, okay, you don’t care, got it,” Eli grimaced and looked down at his console, “I’m assuming there’s no chance I can ask about your film choices from the night?”

“No.”

“Right.”

“What about who won the drinking competition?”

Rush continued to glare.

“Okay, okay, I’m going.”

Rush tried his utmost not to think about the damn thumb-drive. He had more important things to think about, like ship diagnostics, but eventually his curiosity won out and he headed back to his room with his computer under his arm. When he got to his quarters he plugged the thumb-drive into the laptop and hovered over the folder, before clicking it open and having a look at whatever it was someone had left him.

The thumb-drive was empty but for a folder titled music. Rush frowned in confusion and was about to pull the thumb-drive out, before his curiosity got the better of him. There were a couple of folders, which were all titled after genres of music. But what caught his eye was the second folder, which was called _‘Classical’_ . He clicked on it, and his eyes widened. He scrolled, continued scrolling, and felt his heart clench in his chest at the words flashing before him: Bach and Brahms, Beethoven and Chopin, Mozart, Puccini, Rachmaninoff, Schubert…

He flew to his feet, suddenly uneasy, unsteady and giddy with something like…like anxiety but not quite as harsh and uncomfortable, something that made his eyes swim and his hands shake but that also formed a laugh in his throat which erupted unsteadily through trembling lips. He felt, almost naked, like someone had looked at him and known exactly what he’d needed. But they’d left just enough clutter in the thumb-drive to mask it, enough that Rush would question whether he were reading into the situation too much. Just enough that he felt at ease with the gift, but not enough that he couldn’t guess the giver’s intentions, or who the giver had been.

He checked his door, made sure it was locked, and opened all of the songs up onto his laptop at once, letting them play in his quarters on shuffle and on a continuous loop, though he had hours upon hours of content.

Erik Satie’s Gymnopedie No.1 played first; a relaxing, quiet tune, that seemed to cleanse his mind and massage away his taut muscles. He lay back on his bed and breathed in and out steadily, and forgot where he was. He felt like he was floating in space, surrounded by the sounds of the piano. He felt calmed, and his head finally quietened, slowed and gave into the peace.

He clenched his jaw as Elgar’s Cello Concerto began, and listened with tears in his eyes. He watched, behind closed eyelids, as Gloria played. The prickling tears forced his eyes open and he attempted to trace the geometric shapes in his ceiling before all he could see was golden hair and pale lips, taut with concentration. Even diluted by the computer’s speakers the cello sounded as if it were in the room, as if Gloria were playing beside him. He shuddered, feeling uncontrollable gasps wrack his body, tears spilling from his eyes and staining his bed-covers.

His skin prickled as the ghostly music played. He remembered watching Gloria at the concert hall. She played so beautifully, glowing under the stage light, a glow that she seemed to capture and hold onto even once she’d left the stage. He fell in love with her while she was playing. When he met her, and shook her hand, it was covered in dust from the strings of her bow, and calloused, and he had fallen in love with her hands, before he’d even fallen in love with her mind, or even, her heart. He fell in love with her talent, and her love of cello, and then he fell in love with her. She loved to play for him, and she loved to play Elgar’s Cello Concerto until he had tears rolling down his cheeks and a need to pull her into his arms and take those hands and kiss each digit, before kissing her lips as they smiled golden stage light across his face.

The song ended and Schubert’s Impromptu No.3 in G flat major began slowly and quietly. He remembered the times he’d played the song, alone or with Gloria, on his piano at home and on the piano at the concert hall. He remembered the feel of piano keys under his hands, remembered Gloria’s hands resting on his arm as if she were powering his movements, and he felt alive with it, with the music and with the memory of Gloria leaning on his shoulder, and the sadness he’d felt earlier drifted to the corner of his mind. It was like Gloria, herself, had pushed the feelings aside, and calmed his mind with her cool hands on his heated temples, and he laughed, shakily, as he played the piano in his head. He remembered being happy, he remembered letting go, and letting someone make him happy.

After Schubert’s Impromptu, Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. 2 began, and suddenly it was no longer Gloria’s hands on his shoulders but Young’s. At first unsure, but slowly they became sharp, stronger, pushing him down, aggressive, ordering him to stop, or to go, to relax, or to get to work, to slow down or to rush. He felt tension build as the music built and he felt Young’s lips at his ear, taunting him, asking him why he didn’t stop, why he was scared to stop. He heard whispers of acknowledgement and praise between the orders, and then utterances of earnest, pleading him to let go, to relax. The hands on his shoulders softened, and their touch lightened. He played louder, and better, as if to spite Young, as if to say _‘I can do what I want’_ but his chest was clenching and he felt Gloria’s eyes on him as if she were watching this too, as if she were confused, and he imagined Young frowning, telling him things that spilled out into the air silently, his mouth moving with purpose whilst no words met his ears. Then Young stepped away, and his hands were gone and Rush gasped, coming back to his room, feeling alone and empty. 

Then he realised with a jolt that Young's presence hadn’t been aggressive at all…it had been grounding.

He clambered out of bed and realised, as he wiped grime from his eyes and checked his computer’s clock, that he’d fallen asleep, that his computer had been playing for hours, and that he’d been dreaming. He’d been dreaming in colour and music, and he’d dreamt of Gloria and of Young and he felt no heaviness in his muscles, or tightness in his jaw. He felt rested, and relaxed, and whole; he felt like he hadn’t in a long, long, while, and it felt good.

There was little question in his mind about who had given him the thumb-drive, what it meant, or why they’d given it to him. He licked his lips, before leaving his room and heading for Young’s quarters. It was nearing the end of Young’s shift and he usually did paperwork before going to bed; Rush only knew this because he had interrupted that very process countless times with all manner of issues.

He knocked on the door and Young answered a moment later. He barely seemed phased when he saw it was Rush, and walked back into the room to place his papers down on his desk.

“Lose a thumb-drive?” Rush held out the device, now unlabelled.

“Oh, I’ve been looking for that,” Young answered, taking it from Rush.

Rush raised an eyebrow and watched as Young placed it on his bedside table. The Colonel looked up after a moment.

“Did you want something?” he asked.

“Are you joking?”

Young looked away, “I wasn’t sure…how you’d take it, to be honest.”

Rush nodded, then sighed, and fought the urge to start pacing. He wanted to tell Young what it meant to him but he wasn’t quite sure how to word it, or if he should in fact tell him at all.

Young frowned, “Rush? Are you okay?” he asked, obviously noticing his unease, “You know if you didn’t like it then you could-”

“Just- Shut up for a second!” Rush exclaimed, waving a hand. After a moment he took a deep breath, “I…appreciated the music…a lot…” he clenched his jaw as the anxious nausea rose in his throat. Why was this so hard to say? “More than I can…I haven’t heard any since we arrived on Destiny, and…I thought I wouldn’t hear any for a while, if…ever…” he trailed off.

Young nodded, “I’m glad you liked it.”

“I’m not very good with…” Rush swallowed, “Opening up. It has been used against me in the past with a couple of exceptions, and considering everything…” he gestured between them, “I never considered…” he sighed, “What I’m trying to say is, I may have over-reacted.”

“I’m glad,” Young answered.

Rush froze and stared down at his hands, “Right…well…”

“Well?”

He winced, “I’ll be going then.”

“Okay, Rush,” Young smiled, “Have a good night.”

“Yeah,” Rush coughed, turning, “You…too.”

~ YOUNG ~

Young was seated at a table in the Mess with Eli and Greer, who were in the midst of a friendly debate about something or rather to do with science fiction and the SGC. Young was only half paying attention. During a sudden exasperated outburst from Eli, Young looked up and saw Rush, who’d just entered the Mess Hall. Their eyes met briefly and he was just about to invite him over when Eli saw him too and waved. 

“Hey Rush!” he called, “Sit with us.”

Rush hesitated for a moment, before looking back at Young. Then he picked up a bowl and headed over towards them. Young couldn’t help noticing Rush was tense, though he pretended not to as the scientist sat beside him.

Eli and Greer went off again like Rush’s sudden appearance hadn’t changed a thing and again Young didn’t really listen to them. He was too aware of the man sitting next to him. Rush was incredibly uneasy and Young couldn’t help worrying if it was because of the night before. Although he really, really wanted to he refrained from asking. He didn’t want to upset their current situation. They’d seemed to have come to an understanding, after all, and he didn’t want to jeopardise that…but he couldn’t help worrying.

A large group of crew members entered the Mess; Chloe and Scott were in the midst of the group, who were chatting and laughing. Young didn’t miss the way Rush ducked his head, and frowned, trying to catch his eye to give him a questioning look.

“Hey, what’s happening?” Eli asked.

Scott and Chloe made their way over to their table, and Chloe grinned, “Matt and I are engaged,” she announced.

“What? Really?” Eli flew to his feet, and with a tender smile pulled Chloe into a hug.

Greer got up too and patted Scott on the back, before smirking, “You took your time, man. But nice work.”

Scott laughed, “Thanks.”

Young stood and smiled at the two of them. “Congratulations,” he said, and thankfully that’s all he had to say before the crowd fell upon them once more with questions and good wishes.

Young stepped back from the group and watched as Wray, who’d been sitting at a table nearby, asked about what day they were going to tie the knot, and Eli demanded that he make a film documenting the event, and Volker mentioned a couple honeymoon suite options.

He remembered the number of questions Emily and he’d had to answer from family and friends when he’d proposed to her. They’d wanted something small and simple, but things hadn’t gone exactly as planned, much like the rest of their relationship. He'd proposed to her during a picnic they’d had on the beach. He’d taken out the ring as the sun set and asked her the question. She’d cried.

Young expected Rush was remembering similar things from his past, and turned to see if he was alright. His jaw was clenched and he seemed intent on focusing on his lunch, which Young might just have dismissed as normal if their menu for the week hadn’t been bitter fruit again. He considered giving Rush an excuse to leave the mess but hesitated, wondering if Rush’d actually want him to.

“Oh that’s Rush’s doing!” Chloe laughed.

Young looked up, and watched in confusion as Wray held Chloe’s hand and admired the ring on her finger. Young frowned and turned to Rush to find him even more ridged. He’d stopped eating and looked up to give Wray and Chloe a tight-lipped smile that didn’t meet his eyes. But Chloe wasn’t going to let him get off that easily and Young had to wince as she ran over to hug Rush from behind. He jolted in her grip before hugging her back with one hand.

“Thank you,” she said, sincerely. 

Rush patted Chloe’s arm awkwardly, “It was nothing,” he said, and she finally let him go.

She waited a moment before realising he wasn’t going to say anything more, and then she smiled and headed back over to the main group.

Eli looked as if he wanted to question Rush but Young caught his attention and gave him a warning look that made the young man hold up his hands in the universal sign for _‘sheesh okay, I won’t’_. 

Once Rush was safe from any impeding questions Young sat down beside him. “That was sweet of you,” he said, gently.

“As I said,” Rush answered, stiffly, “It was nothing.”

Young nodded, although he knew what Rush was like when it came to Gloria, and he knew it wouldn’t have been that easy for him. That was obvious from how tense Rush looked.

“It’s getting a bit crowded, and it’s only going to get worse,” Young muttered, getting up. “You coming?”

Rush raised an eyebrow before rising, and following him out of the Mess. Young wasn’t sure what to say or do next, or if he should say or do anything at all. He hadn’t really considered what would happen after he prompted Rush to leave the Mess with him. He also hadn’t considered whether or not Rush wanted time alone, or if he thought Young’s prompt had in fact been an order. An awkward silence ensued, and after a while Young had to stop to explain himself. However, just as he spoke Rush did to.

“I didn’t really have anything in mind-”

“Did you want-”

Young paused, “What?”

Rush frowned, “I…did you want…to play chess?”

Young’s eyes widened, “Ah sure.” 

So Rush didn’t want to be alone, then. He wanted company. Well, that’d be a first. At least that he knew of.

“This is the chess set you made, right?” Young asked, “I wondered if you’d ever let me have a go with it.”

Rush shrugged, “I didn’t think you were serious when you said you liked the game.”

“What?” Young laughed, “I was captain of the chess team back in school, you know?”

Rush raised an eyebrow, “Really?”

“To be fair,” Young winced, “There were only four of us in the team, and I was the only one who knew how to play.”

Rush gave an incredulous laugh, before shaking his head. He thought for a moment, and eventually answered with a dispassionate: “I used to play with friends.”

Young tried not to dwell on the _‘used to’_ but he couldn’t help wondering if it was the Ninth Chevron or Rush’s personality which had made those friends past tense.

Young ignored it and smiled, “Well we’ll just have to see who comes out on top.”

Rush nodded, and they walked the rest of the way to his quarters in silence. Though, it wasn’t at all as uncomfortable as before.

When they arrived Young sat down, “So where did you learn how to whittle?” he asked.

“Taught myself,” Rush answered, grabbing the chess board and bringing it over, before collecting the pieces and placing them down in their rightful positions. “While I was at Oxford University I worked this job on the shorefront and spent my breaks picking up drift wood. Carved them into all manner of things. I haven’t done it in a while, though. I used to be better at it.”

“Better? Wow.” Young breathed, before laughing disappointedly at himself, “I was more into sports.”

“Go figure,” Rush rolled his eyes, though not unkindly, “White starts.”

Young moved one of his pawns forward.

“Football?” Rush asked.

“And rugby and hockey,” Young added with a nod, watching Rush move one of his own pawns forward. “I’d have paid to see you in school,” Young laughed, “Bet you back-chatted the teachers and everything.”

Rush smiled at that.

“Correct them too.”

“They were all idiots.” Rush admitted, as Young moved another of his pieces, “I got into a lot of trouble at school.”

“So did I,” Young admitted, “I ditched class too often.”

“Doesn’t every student?”

“Pretty sure they don’t,” Young laughed. “I once skipped on entire week for a girl. It got me suspended, and she never rang me back.”

“I did that for a boy once,” Rush answered, “turned out to be a mistake.”

“A guy?” Young tried to hide his surprise. “Wait as in…” He trailed off. Rush probably didn’t mean what he thought he meant but…the way Rush was looking at him, “So you’ve…been with guys, then?” he asked, hesitantly.

Rush focused on the board and moved another piece. “Now and then,” he answered with a shrug.

He probably shouldn’t have been surprised, considering what had happened in the other universe but still.

“You?” Rush asked.

Young blinked. He wasn’t uninterested in men per say…it was just that he’d never had the opportunity, and then he’d been married and he’d just… “Never found the right guy.”

Rush didn’t answer, and Young could tell the conversation had taken a confusing and uncomfortable route for the scientist. Unfortunately, he didn’t know how to return it back to its comfortable state.

After a while Rush did it for him, “I finished school pretty early,” he said finally, after clearing his throat, “Got through university and began lecturing when Dr Jackson came to recruit me.”

“I was meant to accompany him to that, you know?” Young said, and the awkwardness returned. 

So much for keeping Rush in comfortable company.

“Your turn,” Young prompted, when Rush still hadn’t moved or said anything.

Rush seemed lost in thought as he moved one of his pieces into a precarious position. Young instantly saw the knight was doomed and wondered why Rush was so taken aback by the information.

“That’s how they met,” Young explained, “Though, my counterpart wasn’t married to Emily at the time.” 

Young didn’t take Rush’s piece and instead made an equally dooming move with his rook. 

“If I hadn’t called in sick that day…we might have met differently,” Young continued, “We might have become friends.”

Rush overtook his knight and scooped it up from the board with a smirk, “I don’t know,” he said without malice, “Were you just as annoying a git as you are now?”

Young laughed, “I don’t know, Genius.”

Rush froze and he looked a little surprised at the nickname. Young couldn’t help smiling at the sight. Rush’s brain seemed to short-circuit whenever Young said anything surprising. It was a little endearing, if he was honest.

“What?” Young asked.

Rush shook his head, “Nothing. Your move.”

They continued to play and talk and Rush’s mood improved dramatically, and though the insults and name-calling didn’t cease they were said in good humour. Young didn’t ask if Rush was fine, and he didn’t poke at the reason for his gloom from before. He was just a little proud of himself for finally working out how to deal with Rush when he was in one of these moods. He knew he’d done the right thing when he finally got up to leave and Rush muttered a nonchalant, _“Thank you.”_

Young had nodded and given him a smile, before turning and walking away. Rush didn’t want him to linger on that too long, and so he didn’t, physically. But he found himself running the reaction through his mind again, and again; the image of Rush’s head slightly bowed, his eyes meeting Young’s for a moment before flicking away as if nervous. Young liked to think that Rush finally understood why he was doing all that he could to befriend him. He hoped Rush knew.

When he got back to his quarters he fished out his ring, and watched the light from his quarters glint off of it. He still couldn’t believe what Rush had done. Giving his wife’s ring to Chloe and Scott…that had to have taken a lot of courage. He might not have moved on exactly, but Young liked to think he’d taken a step toward forgiving himself. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out that Rush blamed himself. For what, Young couldn’t quite tell yet. 

Young blamed himself for his own marriage’s failure. He didn’t know whether or not Rush’s self-blame was justified but he knew his sure was. But maybe it was time to stop holding onto that blame, stop holding onto the reminder of his mistakes, stop punishing himself and work toward being a better man. He might have tried to take that step a while ago but he hadn’t really tried hard enough now that he thought about it, and it was hypocritical of him to push Rush when he, himself, couldn’t take the same steps.

Young pocketed the ring with the intention of giving it to Chloe the next time he saw her. That way the two love-birds could exchange rings. He guessed he’d have to officiate the wedding, and they’d have to have a party, or a few. Crew morale wasn’t too bad for the moment, but another celebration wouldn’t be unpopular.

For the crew, and for Rush things were looking up for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a filler chapter, I'm afraid but hopefully you enjoy it nonetheless. Next chapter is going to be super long! I'm excited to show it to you. Anyway, leave a comment and tell me what you think! Thanks :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Shields!” Young yelled._
> 
>  
> 
> _“Why the hell are they shooting at us?” Eli squealed, punching buttons._  
> 

~ RUSH ~

Of course it couldn’t last.

Nothing good seemed to last on Destiny. There was always some kind of disaster ready to ruin it all. Rush was on the bridge when it happened.

The drop out of FTL was followed by an unexpected jolt.

“Oh my God,” Eli breathed, staring out of the bridge window.

Rush turned to see what he was staring at, and his eyes widened. There, floating in the space in front of them was Destiny, or rather…another Destiny.

“Rush to Young,” he said into his radio.

“I see it, Rush. I’m on my way.”

Rush felt sick. He was fed up of parallel universes and multiple Destiny’s. He’d had to deal with a whole other crew when he’d swapped places with his counterpart but at least that had been only one set of the same crew. Now he might have to deal with two of everyone? Including himself? He already felt a headache looming.

By the time Young had joined them on the bridge Rush had run hundreds of scans, and was feeling nauseous and jittery.

He was confident when he said, “It _is_ Destiny.”

“They accidentally broke through then?” Young turned to Rush, “Just like you said. How bad is this?”

“Fairly bad,” Rush admitted.

“I’m going to hail them.”

Rush gritted his teeth. “This is not necessarily the Destiny my counterpart was from,” he reminded Young.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Young replied, before pressing the comm button, “This is Colonel Young, the commanding officer of Destiny, please identify yourself.”

They waited for a moment and then Young repeated himself. But still there was no answer and the ship continued to slowly glide towards them.

“Maybe their comms are down and they didn’t hear us?” Eli asked.

“Sir?” Chloe said, unsurely, “Something doesn’t feel right.”

“I agree,” Rush said, “I suggest-”

The other Destiny began to fire, and their ship shook with the sudden onslaught.

“Shields!” Young yelled.

“Why the hell are they shooting at us?” Eli squealed, punching buttons.

The weapon’s fire continued to hit Destiny, rocking the bridge and setting off several alarms, before the shields came online. Nothing changed. The firing continued, and the shots passed through the shields and hit the ship.

“Rush?” Young demanded.

“Our shields are on,” Rush growled in confirmation. 

“This is Colonel Young, please cease fire.”

The shooting didn’t stop, and the ship had begun to pass over them.

“Fire back!” Rush exclaimed.

Young nodded, “Do it.”

“Firing!” Brody called.

Their ship fired upon the other Destiny, passing through its own shield with a golden sizzle.

“Rush!” Young growled, “Tell me there’s a way to strengthen our shields!”

“It’s not a matter of shield strength,” Rush shouted back, “Destiny thinks the weapons’ fire is its own. If I convince her its not our weapons she won’t recognise our own systems, and we’ll become defenceless.”

“We already seem defenceless!”

The other Destiny stopped firing, and everyone went quiet, hesitantly looking to the ceiling where above them was situated the other Destiny.

“What’s it doing?” Chloe whispered.

An alarm went off.

“Hull breach!” Volker shouted.

“They’re trying to get aboard…” Eli added, “this is exactly what the-”

“Nakai,” Rush muttered in a daze, before hurtling toward a console, “They must have taken over a counterpart Destiny.”

“What!” Young demanded, “Get FTL running now!”

“We can’t. Destiny is reading this as a docking with an Ancient ship. She doesn’t understand.”

“Override it!” Young shouted.

“What bit of _‘I can’t’_ did you not understand?” Rush growled.

 _“Colonel Young!”_ Young’s radio crackled to life, Greer’s voice coming through in a grave tone, _“There are Nakai aboard!”_

“That confirms it, then,” Rush sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“Is Lieutenant Scott with you?” Young asked.

 _“No, sir,”_ Greer responded, _“But I’m with a bunch of people. Some military. Do you want us to engage the enemy?”_

“No,” Young ordered, “Get to the weapons locker. Take as much as you can, then split up into teams. One team, lead by you, needs to get to the bridge and defend it. The other team needs to round people up and head for the mess. Engage the enemy only when necessary.”

“Understood.”

Then Young turned to Rush, “Any ideas?”

“They’ve always wanted Destiny. They have one now. The next step would be to capture another,” Rush replied. 

The Nakai were creating an armada of Destinies, and with them…they could become a more formidable enemy than anyone had ever faced before.

“I mean plans, Rush!”

“Yes, well, even if we could escape they’d come after us, and if not us, then a version of us,” he answered, “We have no choice but to fight.”

Young looked grave as he flicked on his radio, “Greer we need explosives, as much as you can manage.”

_“Got it, sir!”_

If Young was planning what he thought he was planning…it was going to be fucking difficult. There was no way he was going to let Young do it alone.

The Colonel turned to the room, “I want some of the science team on the bridge but it’s up to you on whether or not you stay. Nakai are coming and they may get in. Those who choose to leave, head straight for the mess. Take non-essential halls and stay hidden.”

No one answered for a while, and then Eli stepped forward, “So, I’m probably the most terrified here,” he said, quickly, “But I’m willing to stay and…it’s just…what about the Control Interface Room?”

Rush nodded, “Eli’s right. We’ll need to lock them out of that too.”

“How do we do that?”

“We’ll need someone in there.”

“Who?”

Rush raised an eyebrow, surprised he was being given the choice. Eli and Chloe were probably the most valuable members of the crew due to their knowledge but it would be better to spread out their skills across two areas…But Brody and Volker worked better together and there was a chance the bridge would be taken. If that happened they’d need Eli and Chloe.

“It should be Eli and Chloe,” Rush answered finally.

He didn’t miss the, “Great, so we’re expendable then,” from Volker.

Rush glared at him, and tried to ignore the way Young was studying him.

Finally Young nodded, “Eli, Chloe, and Rush with me. Brody, Volker and Park stay here. Lock this room and let no one in, unless I say so.”

Then they set off and Young pulled out his radio to explain the plan to Greer as they ran.

 _“We’ll meet you on the way, Sir,”_ Greer said, _“I bumped into Scott. He’s already headed to the bridge now with a group of soldiers. They should be there by now.”_

“Good,” Young answered.

Rush, who’d been racking his brain for an idea that would give them an advantage suddenly exclaimed and grabbed the radio off of Young. The Colonel glared at him.

“Greer,” he said, “Do you think you can get a Nakai head-piece?”

There was a pause, _“Colonel? We just passed a small group.”_

Young grimaced, and turned to Rush.

“I might be able to use it to get their life-signs to show up on our scanners,” he said in explanation.

“How sure are you that this will work?” Young asked.

“70 percent,” Eli answered for him.

“95,” Rush corrected, meeting Young’s look with unwavering certainty.

Young nodded, clicking on his radio, “Greer, do it.”

_“Understood, sir. See you soon.”_

They reached the Control Interface Room without incident, though they nearly ran into several Nakai. Young stood guard at the door with his gun ready, Rush grabbed a hand-held monitor and began altering its code, while Eli and Chloe began locking out important sections of the ship where human life signs weren’t being detected.

Young contacted Scott to find out what was happening and was met with the muffled sound of gun fire and shaky reassurance that they were holding steady ground. Rush tried not to let his unease creep out into his posture but his hands were shaking with adrenaline and his shoulder was aching like mad.

Greer arrived, having successfully acquired a Nakai head-piece. Rush wasted no time in taking it from him and beginning to hook it up to his hand-held monitor. He vaguely noticed Eli bring him a second monitor, and as soon as the first was done he held it out to the teenager.

“Take this to Greer, I have the correct frequency and code now.”

He finished the second monitor in under a minute and looked up to find Chloe and Eli finishing up too.

“Rush,” Young asked, “are you ready?”

Rush tried not to let Young’s assurance that he would follow surprise him, but it did. He gave him a nod, “We should get going.”

“Take me with you!” Chloe exclaimed.

“No,” Eli butted in, “No way.”

“Stay here,” Rush ordered, agreeing with Eli.

“But I know the ship’s layout,” Chloe argued, “I know where to plant the bombs.”

“Pretty sure you just plant it next to things that look critical,” Eli said, unhelpfully.

She glared at him, before looking to Young and Rush, “You’ll need me.”

Rush turned to meet Young’s gaze. The Colonel looked contemplative, and unsure but despite his obvious reluctance he gave her a nod.

Rush grimaced, disliking the plan but there was little he could do and Chloe was right to presume they might need her. They were going to need a backup if anyone were to…

Rush clenched his jaw and turned to Greer, “Gun?”

Greer handed him one, and some ammo from the bunch he had with him, before turning to Young, “Is that all, Sir?”

Young gave him a nod, “Good luck, Sergeant.”

“You too, sir.”

Eli grimaced, “Do you really think-”

“Stay here,” Young commanded.

“Lock the doors,” Rush ordered him, “And keep them locked until there is not one Nakai left.”

Eli gave a reluctant nod, and they set out.

Young lead the group, while Rush took up the rear, to keep Chloe in-between them for safety. Rush held the console out in front of him as they walked. There were a lot of Nakai onboard but Rush managed to navigate them around the larger groups. Young and Rush disposed of the rest fairly quickly and without issue. It didn’t take long before they finally reached one of the points on the ship that the Nakai had entered from. The only problem was, a large group of Nakai were haded their way. Rush looked up from his screen with a grimace. It was going to be a close one.

“You better hurry,” he warned them.

Young had just hoisted Chloe up, and was supporting her as she clambered aboard the Nakai ship when a group of the blue aliens rounded the corner. Rush dropped his scanner to give Young cover fire but had to watch in horror as a Nakai blaster shot a blue streak of energy straight through Young’s weak leg, and across his back. The Colonel collapsed.

“Fuck,” Rush growled.

He fired a couple more shots, taking out two Nakai, before rushing out, evading enemy fire and grabbing Young by the arm to pull him to safety. The Colonel cried out in pain as Rush dragged him. He emptied his magazine into the other Nakai as he went, and hit a couple, though only one collapsed.

They were almost out of the way when pain exploded along Rush’s arm, “ _Shit_!” He almost collapsed from the pain but managed to keep his foothold and drag Young the rest of the way behind cover. 

“Fuck,” Young spluttered, as they came to a stop.

Rush didn’t have time to check Young’s wounds. He didn’t have time to check his own. Though, without looking he knew his was at least cauterised already. It was damn lucky. It still burned like nothing he’d felt before but he could still manage through the dizzying pain. Even as he thought it, though, he felt his body shake. He felt ill. But he’d be damned if he’d let it stop him from taking out every fucking Nakai in their path.

“Your arm…” Young slurred.

“It’s nothing,” Rush reassured.

He loaded another magazine, hissing in pain from the effort of the action. Even between him and Young’s firearm they were almost out of ammunition. At this rate they’d have none for the return journey to the bridge. Then he saw it, a grenade. It was fairly close to the Nakai but if he grabbed it and pulled the pin he could probably take out the entire group before they reached Young. Young would be badly jostled by the blast but he’d survive and when Chloe returned she could get him to safety…Rush wouldn’t have time to get to safety but that didn’t matter. The ship had to stay in their control, and it had to survive, Chloe and Young had to survive.

Rush was just about to run for it when Young, having seen his line of sight, grabbed a hold of his t-shirt in a white-knuckled grip, “Don’t you dare!” he growled, “Don’t you…fucking _dare_ kill yourself!”

“Chloe needs time!” he snapped, “I could…You’d be safe.”

“We’ll…make it…” Young assured him, eyes fluttering.

“I’m not sacrificing everything for your sudden and annoying infatuation towards me!”

He violently pulled out of Young’s grip, and took another peak around the corner. The Nakai were moving slowly and if he went now he could still grab the grenade. He looked back at Young, who’d closed his eyes and was wincing through the pain. There was one other alternative, he’d been considering it for a while, but he’d never got the chance to test it and there was no guarantee it’d work.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Rush growled, unclipping Young’s radio from his belt and sprinting for the Nakai.

They fired at him, and he hurtled through their group, skidding across the floor toward the already dead Nakai. If this didn't work then Young could die, and he, himself, would probably follow soon after. He took the communication device from one of the dead aliens’ heads, just as a Nakai blaster shot across his side. He cried out in pain, before dragging himself out of firing range. He pulled off his glasses, uncurling the silver wire he’d used as a makeshift frame, and using it to fiddle with the finer circuits of the Nakai head device like he’d done once while disabling a bomb. He opened up the radio, linking the two and then blasted white noise through the speakers.

There was a tremendous bloodcurdling screech that echoed through the halls. He took that moment to run down the hall, cradling his arm, to grab one of the fallen soldier’s guns and begin firing at the stand-still, screaming Nakai. They died with a last curdling cry, their blue blood seeping onto the deck. Distant screams could still be heard all over the ship, accompanied by gun-fire. Rush hoped to God that got the rest of them, before running to Young’s side.

The Colonel was extremely pale when he blinked up at Rush, “Hey…Genius,” he smiled, “You’re back.”

“Course I bloody am!” Rush growled, and then his voice softened as he checked over Young’s wounds, “Somebody needs to tell you when to pull your head in…”

The Colonel was bleeding quite profusely, though it looked like some of the wound had been cauterised by the blast. Hopefully, it gave them enough time.

“Rush?”

Rush looked up to see Chloe peaking out from the hole in the ceiling. Her eyes were wide as she looked about at the carnage below her.

“Coming,” he huffed, getting to his feet and holding his good arm up to her, “You’re going to have to jump. I’ll try to catch you.”

She dangled her legs over the edge, before letting go. He managed to catch most of her weight and steady her drop but the effort pulled on his arm and side, and he grunted in pain. His vision went white for a moment.

“ _God,_ you’re hurt!” she gasped.

“Not as bad as Young. We need to get him to the Infirmary right now.”

“What about the Nakai?”

There was still the sound of gun-shots all over the ship, though the sound had lessened somewhat.

“They’ll hopefully still be occupied with my distraction.”

“Distraction?”

“Doesn’t matter. Help me carry him.”

Between them they managed to lift Young enough to drag him. He cried out in pain as they moved but there was no other way; they had nothing to make a stretcher from, and it was either this or…Rush didn’t let himself think about it. He didn’t let himself think at all. He didn’t have the energy. Young blacked out soon after they’d set off. Rush checked his pulse twice before they reached the Infirmary twenty minutes later. It was faint but there. TJ was already busy treating the wounded. But once she saw them, her eyes widened, and she visibly paled.

“He- He was shot by a Nakai blaster…leg…and back,” Rush huffed in explanation.

“Jesus!” TJ exclaimed running over to them, “Rush, your arm?”

“I'm fine. It missed the bone…look after him,” he breathed unsteadily.

“I need a spare pair of hands over here!” TJ yelled.

A moment later a couple faceless strangers took Young from Rush’s grip, and he collapsed to the floor in exhaustion, before blacking out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said this chapter would be long but it got too long so I had to split it in two. I'm just editing the next chapter, and I'll upload it as soon as I'm done. I hope you enjoyed the action.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“How long has Rush been in the Infirmary?”_
> 
> _TJ pursed her lips, “I promised him I wouldn’t say anything but…” she met his eyes, “He’s hardly left your side.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: I updated twice this time because the chapter was too long and it felt right to split it in two. So make sure you haven’t accidentally missed a chapter!

~ YOUNG ~

Young woke to blinding light and a pounding headache. He noticed someone was speaking to him but he could barely make it out. He thought it was Rush, and when he opened his eyes he found a worried expression staring down at him. For a moment he thought it was parallel Rush, until he noticed the dark rings under his eyes, and the longer stubble and hair.

“Rush?” he croaked, trying to sit up.

Rush put a hand on his chest, and held him down gently, “Don’t get up, you idiot.”

“What happened?”

“What happened is that you’ve been unconscious for three weeks,” the scientist answered with a huff.

“That bad?”

“Blast to the leg and back,” Rush answered, crossing his arms, “You bled a lot. And it’s your bad leg. You have fairly terrible luck, Colonel.”

Young laughed, and was surprised that it didn’t hurt. Although he felt very nauseous. “Has TJ got me on something?”

“New Alien sedatives,” Rush replied, “Side-effects are: headaches, vomiting, and nausea.”

Young lay back and sighed, “ _Fantastic._ ” 

He must have dozed off because the next time he woke up Rush was sitting, cross-legged on the gurney next to him, with his computer on his lap. It was playing classical music quietly.

“Have you even left the Infirmary?”

Rush looked up from where he was working and raised an eyebrow, before answering with a quick, “Course.”

He didn’t elaborate and Young was left to wonder why he was still there. He cleared his throat, and wondered if he should say anything; gratitude was probably in order.

“Thanks,” Young muttered.

Rush looked up, and gave him a curt nod.

“For saving me,” Young added, as clarification, “ _And_ yourself.”

Rush looked away, and Young watched as his jaw clenched, before a small smile played across his lips. It was gone as quick as it had appeared and Young blinked, wondering if he’d imagined it. Damned man was almost impossible to read sometimes. Young suddenly noticed that Rush was working with only his right hand, while his other arm was in a sling. He frowned.

“How’s the arm?” he asked after a while.

“Better than your leg,” Rush answered without looking up.

Young had to stifle his surprise at the humorous tone, and felt his chest constrict in something like happiness. He hadn’t seen his universe’s Rush act like this…and he liked it. He hid his own smile by looking around the room, as if searching for TJ.

“She’s resting,” he answered, noticing, “After the Nakai attack Infirmary’s been fairly packed. You’re one of the last patients to leave.”

“So you’re baby-sitting for her?” Young asked in amusement.

“Something like that.”

TJ eventually returned, and with her arrival Rush got up and left. Young didn’t miss the confused expression TJ gave him and wondered if Rush really had been in the Infirmary the whole time, sitting beside him. He couldn’t help smiling at the thought.

“How are you feeling, Colonel?” she asked.  
 “Well, I can’t feel my leg,” Young answered, “But neither can I feel much else…whatever you have me on, it’s incredibly numbing.”

TJ made a face, “I know…it’s not great but it’s all we have at the moment."

She checked over his wound, and moved his leg a bit to get the blood circulating. Then she had him wriggle his toes and rotate his ankle to check how bad the damage was. Thankfully, everything seemed to be working fine.

“TJ?” Young asked after a moment.

“Yes, Everett?”

“How long has Rush been in the Infirmary?”

TJ pursed her lips, “I promised him I wouldn’t say anything but…” she met his eyes, “He’s hardly left your side.”

Young nodded after a moment, and his chest constricted again in fondness for the man.

She smiled, “You should talk to him.”

“For his sake or my own?” Young smirked.

TJ gave him a look, “For the both of you.”

“Yeah.”

When she left he lay back and grimaced. God, Rush was frustrating. Young moved his leg, and stared at it. Why did he have to be bedridden? The last thing he wanted to do was lay about while Rush was going off and thinking God only knows what. He wanted to find him, and clear things up. He wasn’t mad at him, was he? Young growled, he wanted to…to confirm boundaries…or…or talk about breaking them. Why hadn’t Rush said anything? Why’d he go? Why did he have to be so secretive about what he thought and felt? Young just wanted to…to be his friend…he wanted…what did he want? He wanted more, that was what. Why did Rush always have to do something so infuriating at the worst possible moment? Young sighed in frustration. It wasn’t really Rush’s fault that he’d come to this conclusion now, but _Goddammit,_ Rush.

The next few weeks were agonisingly slow and boring. Rush’s arm came out of its sling sometime during this period. He could have used that as an excuse to leave the Infirmary and not come back but he didn’t. Instead Rush came in now and then with reports on the ship and crew’s well-being; a too often for it not to be deemed uncharacteristic behaviour. Rush never let him breech the topic of their relationship. Every time Young tried Rush made an excuse and left.

But he was there for the important bits. All throughout Young’s rehabilitation Rush talked. He complained about Volker, spouted scientific theories, came up with ideas to improve ship efficiency, and complained about Volker some more. Young knew the man could argue for hours, but he’d never heard him just _talk_ for hours, and he was unbelievably grateful for it. Rush's voice was distracting, and when the sedatives wore off and he had to stand on his damaged leg, it was a thankful distraction. He tried again and again to talk to Rush but again and again Rush didn’t let him. It seemed Rush was in denial or was nervous or just didn’t want to do it without some privacy.

Eventually, Young’s leg healed enough that TJ didn’t feel too guilty releasing him from her Infirmary. She gave him a crutch and a warning - but she released him nonetheless. Rush was there when she did, and he gave no explanation as to why. Young didn’t know how to ask him, so instead they walked back to his quarters in silence. Young wondered if this was where they were going to have that talk. He’d held out his hand in an offer of friendship months ago, and he liked to think they were friends now but…Rush had never confirmed it. Young wanted to ask him but Rush’s shoulders were tense and he seemed on edge.

When they finally reached his quarters, and Young shut his door. Rush gave him a furious glare. They weren’t going to talk, then. Young didn’t feel like arguing.

“Rush I…” he tried.

“I _hate_ you so fucking much,” Rush snarled.

Young’s eyes widened and he felt sick. “No you don’t,” he replied, mostly hoping he was true.

He’d hardly finished the sentence before the scientist leapt at him, and shoved him up against the wall. The breath was knocked out of Young’s lungs, and his crutch clattered to the floor as he attempted to struggle out of Rush’s hold. 

“You fucking bastard!” Rush growled, “Do you know how long you were fucking asleep for? I had to take orders from Lieutenant Scott!”

Rush’s hand was around his throat, and Young was suddenly fearful that he had misinterpreted the situation until… 

“Don’t ever fucking do that again!” Rush snapped, before pressing his lips to Young’s, and kissing him, furiously. 

Rush’s hold on Young’s neck was weak, more possessive than aggressive, and Young gasped in shock as realisation set in. He was kissing Rush. He was kissing Nicholas Rush, and oh god was it the best fucking thing he’d ever done. He might have made a noise because a moment later Rush pulled back with a satisfied smirk on his face, and Young could only stare at the infuriating man as his thoughts attempted to organise themselves.

When he finally had a grip on reality he shook his head in disbelief, “You’re _a lot_ of work!” he growled, before pulling Rush back into another kiss.

Rush’s stubble was just long enough that it wasn’t sharp, and he was thankful because there was no way he was stopping any time soon. Young hadn’t known how much he’d wanted this. Yes, he had wanted to be closer to Rush. Yes, he had loved the very thought of Rush being happy because of him, and of course he’d noticed how attractive Rush was but God, he’d never even considered…Taking into account what they’d both gone through in the last few months he shouldn’t have been so shocked, and yet his heart was thundering in his chest.

Young spun Rush on the spot and shoved him up against the wall. The scientist grunted in surprise, before staring at Young. The look he gave him was what made Young pause for a moment. It was empty of threat or cockiness. It was new. Young tilted his head, watching Rush as he hesitantly wrapped a hand around the scientist’s throat. Rush didn’t stop him. Instead he melted into Young’s touch, relaxing against the wall with a pleased sigh. And wasn’t that a surprise? Young suddenly realised that Rush had wanted this for a long time; not necessarily from him, but he’d needed it.

“You like that then?” Young asked, pressing the length of his body up against Rush’s, and slipping a leg between his.

“Yes,” Rush shivered, baring his throat more. 

Young squeezed his neck a little harder, not enough to be too painful but enough that Rush made a noise that was so goddamn glorious it went straight to Young’s groin. He leaned in, pressing a kiss to Rush’s lips. Rush kissed him back, but less violently than before. No, this time he wanted to go slow and Young was absolutely okay with that.

Young pulled Rush closer. He slipped a hand around his back and under his top, splaying his fingers across the man’s back and then he hooked his fingers into his long hair and pulled. 

“You have too many damn layers,” Young growled.

Rush grunted in response, and slipped a tongue into Young’s mouth, making him moan. Then Young pulled at Rush’s top, and removed it, and Rush shed Young’s just as quickly. Pants went next, and then underwear, and then Young was back, pressing the length of his body up against Rush’s, already perspiring from the excitement. He held Rush’s hips in place with a leg and watched him steadily, eyelids fluttering and mouth open with want. Rush was breathing unsteadily, and Young ran a tongue over his bottom lip before biting it into his mouth with a breathy moan. Rush shuddered, and moaned and Young smirked in response.

“I want,” Rush huffed, “I want you to fuck me.”

Young paused, and leant back to see Rush’s face. Even though his hair was all over the place, and his cheeks were red, and his lips swollen, he still managed to seem completely in control of his mental faculties…which for Young was a fairly different case. It took him a moment to understand what Rush was asking him.

“I’ve never…”

“I know,” Rush answered. “It’ll be easier on you this way.”

Young frowned.

“And I like it,” Rush added. “I’ll talk you through it.”

Young nodded, and smiled, “Okay.”

Then Young pulled Rush towards him, and lay him back on the bed. They might be having sex but that didn’t mean he was going to let the damn scientist rush him. He wanted to savour this. He wanted Rush to remember this, to ache with the memory of it, not because it hurt but because it was so damn good that the very sight of Young, the very feel of his hand on his shoulder reminded him of what Young could do to him; the smiles, the pleasured sighs, the ecstasy that he could offer him. He didn’t want to kiss Rush like he might lose him any second. He wanted to kiss him like they had forever, like they could be like this forever, that he could offer this forever.

Young pressed a biting kiss to Rush’s neck, along his collarbone, and down his chest. He ran his calloused fingers over Rush’s body, and over the coin-sized scar on his upper arm, and the lightning scar along his side. Rush was watching him from between his fluttering eyelids. His hair was flayed out across the bed, and his soft sighs went straight to Young’s groin. Everything had seemed to be building up to this point and Young wanted to savour it but…He also didn’t want it to be an end. He wanted it to be a start, he wanted it to be a promise for more, for better.

He gripped Rush’s hips tightly, and rocked into him, making Rush’s back arch. The scientist gripped the bedsheets into a tight, balled fist and spluttered, begging for more. Young’s leg ached but it was damn worth it to see the desperate, beautiful look on Rush’s face. A week more spent in sickbay would be damn worth it.

He took Rush’s hand and interlocked their fingers. Maybe they could have this? Their counterparts were married but that didn’t mean they had to be. Young was okay with that. He was fucking okay with that. Rush smiled up at him and Young smiled back. He was utterly convinced this was perfect. They could have this. He could stay like this forever, with fingers laced together, lips parted, breathing each other’s air, tongues sliding, hands on skin, teeth grazing necks, lips on hips, sweaty and raw and by each other’s side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry…I hate writing sex scenes…but I felt the fic needed to at least allude to one. I’m pretty bad at writing them so I don’t know if there’ll be any graphic descriptions in the fic, sorry. I might come back and write an actual sex scene but for now I don't feel comfortable doing so.
> 
> Also about the sub/dom stuff…I began writing this with dominant Rush in mind but then I realised that…while Rush seems to egg people on and be the first to threaten or shout…he isn’t the one to actually attack first, usually. So that got me thinking that perhaps it’s similar in the bedroom, and the reason for it is that he enjoys rougher sex, and that he enjoys being the submissive in that arrangement. Anyway, just personal opinion and how it worked out!!
> 
> Please leave a comment!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Do you want it just to be sex?” Young asked._
> 
> _Rush hesitated, and clenched his jaw as Young watched him curiously. He didn’t know if this was a test or not. Young could be trying to determine a weakness in him or…or it could just be an innocent question. “No,” he answered, eventually, “Do you?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case people don't understand why AU-Rush is calling CU-Young “Colonel”, it’s sort of an acknowledgement that he’s not the same person AU-Rush married, and also a way of I guess dealing with talking to your husband’s counterpart while...well you'll find out.

~ RUSH ~

Rush woke to a hand combing through his hair, and turned over to give Young a sleepy raised eyebrow. Young gave him a smirk.

“You slept well,” Young observed.

“That would be thanks to all that physical exertion before bed,” Rush answered with a deadpan expression.

Young laughed, and Rush smiled, before getting up.

“Hey, where are you going?”

“Back to work,” Rush answered.

“Your shift doesn’t start for a while.”

“Neither does yours,” Rush answered, “But unlike you I actually have things to do.”

Young scoffed, “Suit yourself.”

Rush gave him a look as he retrieved his clothes from the floor, “Were you looking for morning _cuddles_ or something, Colonel?”

“Don’t call me Colonel when you’re naked, please,” Young answered.

Rush raised an eyebrow, as he stepped into his underwear and jeans, ”Yes, sir.”

Young rolled over, and laughed into his pillow.

That was when Rush’s radio crackled and he reached for it, _“Eli to Rush?”_

“Rush here.”

 _“There’s…uh…”_ Eli paused, _“I think you’ll want to see this for yourself.”_

Rush gave Young a shrug, before answering Eli with a quick, “Is it urgent?”

_“Uh…I don’t think so?”_

“I just got up. I’ll be there in a moment,” he answered, before throwing his radio onto the bed and pulling on his long-sleeved top.

Then Young’s radio crackled, _“Eli to Colonel Young?”_

“Yes, Eli, I heard,” Young answered automatically, getting out of bed, “I’m on my way.”

 _“Wait, what?”_ Eli asked in confusion before trailing off, _“Oh…Uh…Right. Eli out.”_

Rush turned to Young and raised an eyebrow, “You realise everybody will know by lunchtime.”

“After the entire crew witnessed your doppelgänger and I working together I doubt they’ll be surprised,” Young answered, getting up and retrieving his own clothing.

That might be the case but surprised and accepting were two very different things. Rush doubted the crew would be very pleased with him sleeping with their commanding officer. At least the SGC couldn’t order them to stop. Thank God he was a civilian; not that ranks had stopped other crew members from falling into bed with one another. Except Young and he were different. They were commanding officers and they…what were they doing? Rush was suddenly unsure. Were they just sleeping together? Was that it? Was this just a one night stand? Young wouldn’t have implied his whereabouts to Eli if they were just going to do it this one time but doing it again…didn’t mean it meant anything.

“Colonel?”

Young gave him an exasperated look.

“What? Do you want me calling you Everett now or something?”

Young seemed to consider that before shrugging, “Whatever makes you comfortable.”

Rush considered his words before nodding, “What was that last night?” Rush asked.

Young frowned, “The sex?”

“Yes,” Rush answered, stonily. What if Young was just trying to use him? Perhaps not to kill him or anything so drastic but what if he was just using him for sex. Rush licked his lips, “Was it just sex?”

“Do you want it just to be sex?” Young asked.

Rush hesitated, and clenched his jaw as Young watched him curiously. He didn’t know if this was a test or not. Young could be trying to determine a weakness in him or…or it could just be an innocent question. “No,” he answered, eventually, “Do you?”

“No!” Young answered instantly, looking a little relieved.

It took Rush a moment to realise what they’d agreed to but when he did he felt calm about it. In fact he had to hide the smile that threatened to spread across his face. He supposed it wouldn’t have mattered to give Young that smile. After all, their relationship had taken a new turn that implied that he could be more free about himself but, unfortunately, habits were difficult to break. He supposed Young would help him with that in the future.

“Do you care if people know?” Young asked him, “Because I can dispel the rumours if it’s what you want.”

Rush gave a short laugh, “You know I don’t care what people think.”

Young smiled, “I just thought I’d check. I probably should have done so before outing us to Eli.”

“Eli’s discomfort for the next couple hours will be worth it.”

Rush was about to punch the button for the door when Young caught his hand. The scientist turned to him curiously as Young cupped his face and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.

“We’re going to have to communicate better and more often, you know,” he told him, “If we want this to work.”

“Or god forbid we try to kill one another.”

Young gave him a disappointed look, “Don’t start an argument.”

Rush scoffed, his doors slid open and they headed to the bridge.

“I mean it, you know?” Young answered, on the way.

“You’re the one who tried-”

“Please stop.”

“Just because we’re…” Rush gestured between them, before trailing off, “does not mean I’m not going to stop arguing with you.”

“Oh I’m so glad you don’t feel obliged to change for me.”

“Bastard,” Rush answered, with little venom, before they rounded the corner and stepped onto the bridge.

He still had a smile on his face when Eli looked up. The young man’s mouth was hanging open at the sight, and Rush purposefully schooled his face into a deadpanned expression to help the boy along.

“What is it Eli?” he asked.

“Uh…I…there’s uh,” Eli stumbled, “…a buoy. A space buoy,” he pointed to the monitor, “We picked it up just half an hour ago.” 

“A buoy?”

“Yeah uh…I thought it might have been a space mine or something but it seems to have some kinda computer because Destiny wants to link up with it.” Eli added, “Also what’s weird is that Destiny recognises the material as its own.”

“As if it were from another universes’ Destiny,” Rush deflated.

“Could it be a trick?” Young asked the room.

Eli shrugged.

“It could be,” Volker answered.

Young folded his arms, “What would you suggest?”

“We could bring it on-board,” Eli answered. 

Park nodded, “And run diagnostic tests on it.” 

“So it’ll be safe?” Young asked just to be sure, turning to Rush.

“As long as we keep Destiny from connecting to it.”

“Okay then,” answered, “let’s get it on board, then.”

When they’d retrieved the buoy Rush and the rest of the science team set to work on it. Young stood back to watch for a bit before other work lead him away. It didn’t matter. The device was going to take a while to determine whether it was safe or not. Rush expected several hours, if he didn’t get distracted by it’s interesting qualities. He couldn’t help hoping that they could keep it, or wondering if there were more onboard Destiny. He didn’t know exactly how it could come in handy but it would be nice to find something to tinker with.

Eventually, they came to the conclusion that the device was harmless. There was no evidence of any virus or bomb or other alien technology. Instead, they discovered harmless video data. Rush called the Colonel back and once they had the permission he hooked the buoy up to his computer. He used his computer instead of Destiny just incase - though, he was skeptical - that there was a harmful snippet of data hidden within the video.

They played the video, and Rush raised an eyebrow as he, himself, walked on screen and sat before the camera: _“To whomever is watching this video,” he began, “this is for Dr Nicholas Rush and/or Colonel Everett Young’s eyes only-”_

Rush paused the video, and turned to Young, Eli and the rest of the science team. They stared at him for a moment, before he turned to Young with a questioning look.

Young nodded at him, “Okay, everyone, get back to work on whatever it was you were doing. Rush and I’ll be back once we’ve finished with the video.”

Volker gave Eli a questioning look, which Eli responded to with a shrug, before the entire science team dispersed.

“How do you think they brought it over?” Young asked, once they were alone.

“I am not sure,” Rush answered, “Though it was likely your idea and not mine or Eli’s.”

Young gave a shrug, before muttering a quick, “Okay, let’s do this,” and playing the video.

 

_“-If you’re neither of them, or have no clue what I’m talking about…well this message won’t matter,” Rush’s counterpart said. “Everett was changed by the Nakai like you’d thought, Colonel. We locked him up in isolation for a time but as you can imagine,” he looked down at his hands, “that didn’t go too well. When the Nakai attacked…I gave him up. We almost didn’t get him back and when we did…” he trailed off, looking exhausted and miserable._

_He seemed to struggle to speak for a while before finally looking up to give the camera an angry glare. “If my counterpart’s there…” he began, “you might not understand the Colonel, you might find him frustrating or an inadequate leader or worse. God only knows what you think!” he snapped, “But what the Colonel told me…” he trailed off, clenching his jaw. “He thought you hated him…I know that can’t be true because you’re me; a fucking stupid version of me, but you’re still me. And from what I’ve heard you sound like a lonely, dull bastard who can’t see a good thing when it’s standing right in front of him! And go figure, you push away anyone who tries to help you…and I can’t help hating you for that.”_

 

Rush didn’t blame his counterpart for hating him. He knew he’d been the reason he was alone for so long. He knew he pushed everyone away. Young had been the one to make him see it for what it was; to make him see that it was only making him more miserable. That’s why he’d changed! He couldn’t help wondering how the entire experience had effected his doppelganger. Though, if Young’s worried grimace was anything to go by, then Rush’s other-self looked the worse for wear. Rush couldn’t help feeling pleased. It was comforting to know that the other universe hadn’t been perfect, after all, and that he could still make good decisions even now. Though, Young’s expression made Rush feel uneasy. He looked so upset for his counterpart, as if he liked the idea of that Rush being happy…Rush gritted his teeth through the stupid jealousy that threatened to boil up within his gut, and watched as his counterpart took a deep breath, before letting it out slowly, his tone returning to a more reasonable level as he continued to explain what had happened in his universe after his return.

 

_“Everett’s been in a coma for three weeks.” His eyes glistened, “and we have no idea if or when he’s going to wake up. The Nakai have attacked us relentlessly and we’ve seen evidence of their ships having cloaking abilities. Things haven’t been this bad…in a while.” Then the glare was back. “I’m not asking you to marry the Colonel, or to even start sleeping with him. I’m asking you to work with him, to accept his offer of friendship. It’s the least you can fucking do, you moronic bastard, after everything you’ve put the crew through. Do it for the them, for the Colonel, for…Gloria, for yourself. I might not get Everett back but I’ll be damned if I let you squander your chances with him!” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, running a hand over his face, and then through his hair before looking back up at the screen with a tired expression. “Colonel, you mentioned that it would have been nice for you and Tamara to have seen Carmen. I asked her mother and she has allowed-”_

 

Young leant forward and paused the video.

After a moment Rush looked up. “Did you want me to leave?” he asked.

Young shook his head, “Not just yet.”

Rush swallowed around the lump in his throat, and didn’t know how to tell Young that he’d rather leave. He didn’t want to talk about the video, he didn’t want to think about it, he didn’t want to give his body time to betray him. His nerves were already shot to hell, though, and he could feel his hands beginning to shake.

He grew ridged, and felt Young’s eyes on him. Young rested a hand on Rush’s shoulder, and the gesture was just enough to be grounding, but not enough to be overwhelming. Though, even if it had been uncomfortable he didn’t have the energy to pull away. He felt like he should say something. He wanted to tell Young he didn’t care; that the video hadn’t phased him at all. But, that wouldn’t be the truth. He did care. He was glad Young had been with him to watch the video. He wouldn’t have been able to stand listening to this man who looked and sounded like him, this man whose life up until this point had seemed to go so much better than his, this man who blamed his disaster of a life on his own poor choices. He was right of course but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

The worst part was he now understood how much he’d missed. His counterpart’s miserable and exhausted expression was a familiar one; one he’d seen years ago when he’d looked up one sleepless night, from his spot beside his wife’s hospital bed, to see his reflection in the window staring back at him. He had seen how dedicated Young’s counterpart had been to that other Rush…but even then it was odd seeing such feeling for the other man on his own face. He had always wondered if he’d ever see that expression of admiration and…love for another person, on his face, again.

Then there was the fact that this universe’s Young was so enamoured with his counterpart. He wanted, needed to tell Young that he could never be him, never completely let go and relax into another’s embrace again, that he didn’t even know how far he’d be able to go with Young.

“I-” he tried, but his voice cracked. 

Young didn’t speak, and didn’t move; instead, he waited until Rush leant into him a little. Then Young seemed to get the message and he drew closer, wrapping an arm around him. Rush again expected a feeling of suffocation to accompany the touch but again Young simply remained a grounding presence. 

The half-embrace reminded him of Young’s counterpart’s attempt at calming him down. Although, that embrace had only made him feel worse…except…except now he could lean his head against Young’s shoulder, and accept it and not feel guilty, or uncomfortable and that was probably his counterpart’s doing. Young had only started trying harder once he’d met Rush’s counterpart. He felt tears in his eyes and wondered at the irony. If Young had never met his better self, he might never have tried this hard to get to know him.

He felt jittery. His muscles wanted him to move and his brain wanted him to tackle something mathematical - something he could understand - to do anything but dwell on the suffocating feeling in his chest and on the _‘maybes’_ and _‘could have beens’_. What if he had continued to refuse Young’s offer of friendship? This video likely wouldn’t have changed his mind. What if he had hated Young even more? What if he had completely lost the ability to care? What if…what if Young hadn’t found the faith to trust him, to give him a second, and a third, and a fourth chance? What if Young had given up? He could have done, he could have done it so easily, so many times.

Young took Rush’s hand and gave it a momentary squeeze, as if to say: _‘everything’s fine, we’re fine’_ , and then he ran a hand through his hair, before placing a hand on his neck in a comforting gesture. “It’s alright. I'm here,” he whispered. “I’m not going anywhere, Genius.”

Rush wanted to tell Young that he’d never hated him, that he’d been unsure, that he’d found him frustrating or confusing but…but that he’d never hated him.

“We’re both alive, and the Nakai are gone…we settled our differences. Everything’s fine.”

Rush nodded, and his breathing finally started to even out.

“You okay, Genius?”

“Yeah,” he answered, and his voice was rough but steady, “I’m…” _fine?_ “You know that I…that I’m…” _sorry for everything, for making this all harder than it had to be, for not trusting you, for hurting you._

“I know,” Young answered, kissing his neck, “I know.”

Of course Young knew, and _fuck_ , how had they gone from constantly being at each other’s throats to…to this? When had Young worked him out? When had he started understanding him so well? _Shit._ He started shaking again and wriggled out of Young’s grip a little, not pushing him away exactly but just needing some air, some space, some time to really let everything settle in place because right now it all felt like some weird dream. Plus, Young had a video to watch anyway.

“I’m…I think I’m going to go for a walk.”

Young nodded, “Okay.”

Rush swallowed, before pulling away completely, “You want me to call Lieutenant Johansen?”

“No, no,” Young answered, shaking his head, “I can do that.”

“Okay.”

“You want me to radio you when…?” Young suddenly looked insecure, and Rush supposed he was apprehensive of watching the rest of the video.

“Yes,” Rush answered, and not just because he wanted to see Young afterwards, but because he knew Young was going to need him afterwards too.

Young nodded, and Rush left. 

 

He walked quickly and with jittery purpose to the Observation Deck where he paced, or sat, or gazed out to space with little intent and too much unbridled emotion crawling under his skin. He’d been there merely twenty minutes before he heard the footsteps behind him. It was far too soon for Young to have finished the video and so when he turned around he wasn’t surprised that it was Wray who’d found him and not the Colonel.

“Do you not have anything better to do?” he asked, exasperatedly.

She raised an eyebrow at him, “Not right now, no.”

He sighed, and turned to walk out the door when she stopped him.

“Nicholas, I wanted to-”

“I’m not really in the mood.”

“I just wanted you to know that I’ve noticed that you and the Colonel have become…well you seem to have settled your differences.” 

Rush paused.

“If it ever gets out of hand…if he ever pressures you into…I can help you file a report against him.”

Rush didn’t hide his surprise at her statement. He hadn’t thought Wray cared that much about him.

“That won’t be necessary,” he answered.

She nodded, “I also…”

Rush sighed, wondering what more she could want.

“There isn’t a queer support system on this ship, and I was considering-”

“Camile,” he interrupted, not wanting to have this conversation.

“Just hear me out,” she implored, “When people in the SGC found out about me and Sharon they weren’t all understanding…so if you need to talk or if anyone’s giving you any trouble, I’m here.”

Rush knew what she meant. He’d experienced a lot of “trouble” back in school, and in university after that. But there were bullies everywhere and he could handle them. He had most of the ship’s systems at his command so a little threat about a not-even-accidental decompression of said bullies’ quarters would likely get them off his back, and if not…well it would be interesting to see if he could get away with that one.

Though, it was, he supposed, nice of her to have considered him. He expected the polite thing to do was to thank her. He gave her a curt nod instead. She’d probably understood what he meant, and if she didn’t? Well, he didn’t really have the energy in him to care at that moment.

He walked the halls of Destiny, too distracted to work on his numbers and too worked up to do anything else. When Young radioed him Rush knew exactly what to expect, and he was glad that he was close to his quarters when the time came. He bumped into TJ on the way and she enveloped him in a tight hug that surprised him. He held her, and even though he knew the hug was for that other Rush it felt good.

“Are you…” he tried.

“I - Varro said he’d wait for me.”

Rush nodded, pleased that someone was ready to help her through the aftermath of the video as well.

“You take care of him, won’t you?”

For a moment Rush was confused, before he realised who she was talking about. “Of course,” he answered.

She gave him a weak smile before walking away.

When Rush entered Young’s quarters it was to the sight of him pouring himself a drink. Rush grimaced, before walking forwards and taking the mug from him, placing it out of reach. Young gave him an exhausted look, before clenching his teeth. Rush knew what was coming, he could see it in his cold gaze, in his taut muscles and in the bouncing vein on his forehead. He braced for the attack, for a punch or a tackle or a hand around his throat. It would hurt, and he didn’t feel up to it but at least it would let Young get all the anger and frustration out of his system. Though, instead of an attack, Young slumped against his shoulder.

Rush’s eyes widened, before he wrapped his arms around Young and held him close.

“It’s all my fault,” Young muttered.

Rush shook his head, and ran a hand through the Colonel’s hair. If it was anyone’s fault it was his own but he didn’t say that to Young. If Rush hadn’t stranded them all on Destiny then TJ’s daughter would never have died, Young might have left his wife for her and they might have lived happily together. If Rush hadn’t stranded them all on Destiny TJ would be happy, and Young wouldn’t be resorting to drink.

“You don’t need this anymore,” Rush said, pointing to the alcohol. The _‘because now you’ve got me’_ , went unsaid, though it was clearly implied.

Young pulled him closer, and Rush clenched his jaw as Young began to shudder. He’d never been very good at comforting people but he knew from experience that all he wanted to do when he felt like this, as he felt now, was lean into somebody and stay there. Rush hooked his fingers into Young’s curls and held them gently, rocking him back and forth even as he felt the tears brimming in his own eyes.

“I don’t hate you, you know?”

Young gave a spluttered, disbelieving laugh, “I know.”

“I never hated you,” Rush continued. 

Young leant back to give Rush a soft smile. Rush met his gaze for only a moment before he had to look away.

“You know,” he began, staring at the floor, “I can’t ever be him, right?”

Young cupped his face, and he looked back up at the man, seeing a knowing look which was comforting. “I know that, Genius,” he replied, “You’re not him; don’t try to be.” Then he leant forwards and pressed a soft, gentle kiss to Rush’s lips.

Rush tasted salt, and kissed Young less hesitantly than before, pulling him forwards, and gripping him tight, not wanting to let go.

There was a lot they had to make up for; and a lot of mistakes that they could never fix. But that didn’t mean they couldn’t move on from it, and learn from it, and build something better from it. After all, they had this, and it was practically perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that's enough of a recap of the other universe for you because I'm beginning to think I might not be able to do an entire fic on what happened in AU Rush and Young's universe. Please leave a comment and tell me what you think!
> 
> Update: I also ended up changing the summary of the fic because I think the old summary was a little vague.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“What about Dr Rush?”_
> 
> _“If you need any _help_ ,” Greer answered, “I don’t need to know your strategy.”_
> 
> _Young frowned, “I don’t know what you mean.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently my brain decided that we are going to do this…whatever this is. Idefk…here have a sex scene, I guess. I hope you enjoy it.

~ YOUNG ~

“Sir!”

Young had just been about to enter the mess when Greer’s voice echoed down the hall and made him turn, “Yes, Sergeant?”

“Can I have a word with you in private?” Greer asked in a hushed voice.

“Sure,” Young said, in interest. Then, when they had moved away from the doorway to a more secluded area, he gave the man a questioning look, “What’s this about?

“It’s about Dr Rush.”

“What about Dr Rush?”

“If you need any _help_ ,” Greer answered, “I don’t need to know your strategy.”

Young frowned, “I don’t know what you mean.”

“I just wanted you to understand that I know what’s going on and that I’m a man of discretion.”

Young had a sinking feeling he knew what this was about, “What is it that you think is going on?”

Greer frowned, obviously wondering if he should roll with the comment or answer truthfully. After a while he seemed to take the latter option and answered in an even quieter tone of voice.

“Your new strategy to handle Dr Rush.”

Young had to fight every muscle in his body to keep his voice level and quiet, “I have no strategy on handling Rush.”

At that moment Scott walked out of the mess, and seeing them paused before walking over, “Sir?” he asked, looking between Greer and the Colonel, “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, Lieutenant,” Greer answered instantly.

Young sighed, “We were just discussing Rush.”

Scott’s jaw visibly clenched, “Actually, Sir, about that. Permission to speak freely?”

Young felt sick with dread, “Go ahead.”

“I really don’t like this plan.”

“And what plan would that be?” he asked him, carefully.

“Rush’s mood and…general attitude’s really improved over the last couple months,” Scott explained, “I don't think there’s really a need for this kind of manipulation.”

Young froze. _Shit._

“It’s fairly unethical and I won’t just stand by and watch it happen.”

Young rubbed a hand across his face. _Shit._ If Scott and Greer had come to the same - albeit completely incorrect! - conclusion how many more crew-members had too? Did they really think he’d do something like this to Rush? Did they really think he was that kind of person? That he would manipulate a man’s feelings just to keep him docile. _Fuck._ No wonder Rush had difficulty trusting him. People seemed to think he’d be up to “handling” him in this way.

“Lieutenant, I think the Colonel’s had enough,” Greer warned.

Scott grimaced, “Hey, no, this isn’t right and you know it. I did not sign up for this-”

“Hey!” Young snapped.

Both men turned to him.

“Nobody is manipulating Rush.”

Neither looked convinced.

“I’m serious,” Young continued, “Rush and I have had our difficulties in the past but we’ve resolved them. I’m not using what happened during that universe-swap to _“handle”_ Rush. I’m-” Young shook his head, “In fact it’s none of your business. Rush can look after himself.”

Scott still did not look convinced, and Greer was probably just schooling his features to appear that he was. What else could Young do, though, short of tell them he was sleeping with his lead Scientist. After a moment of silence Young sighed and dismissed them both, before walking into the mess more than a little perturbed. He looked around the room, before seeing Rush, who of course was hanging back, out of the crowd, nursing a drink barely touched and flipping through his notebook. He’d shaved too. Probably, the first time since they’d arrived on Destiny. Young had forgotten how much more attractive he was without the beard. He couldn’t help but smirk at the sight, and the thought, and it made him feel a little better. He headed towards him.

“You really don’t know how to relax, do you, Genius?”

Without looking up Rush shrugged and passed him the drink, “The ship won’t fix itself.”

Young sighed, “I guess not.”

Rush looked up after a moment, and met his eyes, before raising an eyebrow, “Drink it, you look terrible.”

Young scoffed but didn’t deny it, and downed the drink in one go. He couldn’t help noticing that several groups of people were staring at them. He groaned and tried his hardest to pretend like it didn’t matter to him. But God, his crew thought he was using Rush…and that hurt. It shouldn’t, considering their past but…they were both better than that now. He hoped Rush didn’t still think he was using him. That mattered more to him; whether Rush thought he was using him or not. He could deal with the crew but if Rush…if Rush still thought… _Shit_ , he hoped he didn’t.

“You shaved,” Young said, wincing at the dumb comment.

“I did,” Rush answered, not seeming to mind.

“You look…”

Rush’s eyes met his, and he watched as Young fumbled for words.

“You look better without the beard,” he finished, “younger, happier.”

Rush smirked, “Be careful, people might begin to think you’re attracted to me.”

Young felt sick. He didn’t care what people thought. He did find Rush attractive; didn’t he know that?

“I’d be stupid not to,” Young answered, but there must have been something in his tone because Rush looked up and gave him a look.

“Are you going to tell me why you’re in such a bad mood?” he asked him.

Young frowned, “Is it that obvious?”

“Yes,” Rush answered, “you’ve been seething, and you gave Brody’s disgusting alcohol barely a glance before finishing it.” 

“Greer and Scott had a chat with me.”

“I saw that. What did they want?”

Young sighed, “They think I’m trying to manipulate you.”

Rush closed his notebook, “I know.”

“You know?” Young frowned, “What do you mean you know?”

“Wray had a talk with me a couple days ago,” Rush admitted, “She said if I wanted to file a report against you she’d be willing to back it up. Scott also tried to tell me that you might be using me for your own benefit.”

Young grimaced, “Do _you_ think I’m using you?”

“I think you wouldn’t have told me about your conversation with Greer and Scott if you were.”

“I could have told you that to make you think I’m also victim to rumour.”

Rush turned to him with a raised eyebrow, “You looked absolutely livid when they were talking to you,” he answered, a little irate, “If you want us to stop what we’re doing just say so. Don’t make shit up to try and make me feel better about it. I’m not a child.”

Young nodded, “Okay…”

“And for the record,” Rush continued, “I don’t think you’re using me, Everett.”

Young smiled at that, “You called me Everett.”

Rush scoffed, “Oh, shut up.”

Young laughed, “I’m glad you don’t believe them,” he said, bumping shoulders with him, “And…for the record I want to stick with you, Nick.”

Rush met his eyes, and after a moment gave a hesitant smile.

Young grinned, “And if you think about it…it’s kind of nice that Wray and Scott are trying to look out for you. You’re making friends!”

Rush groaned, “I don’t want to make friends.”

“Yes, yes, we all know you’re a cold bastard,” Young rolled his eyes, “But you already have friends so get used to it, Genius.”

Rush glared, “Go get another drink or something.”

Young laughed, “Alright. You want one?”

Rush thought about it for a moment before finally pocketing his notebook and nodding, “Yeah.”

Young began walking towards the refreshment table when there was a loud clamour and Chloe’s voice called for the crowd to be quiet. He paused and turned toward where Chloe was commanding the crowd. A kino floated beside him, filming the scene and Young already knew what was going to happen before it did. Chloe grinned as Scott walked towards her with a confused expression, and then Chloe got down on one knee, and there were a few whistles and claps.

“Matt,” Chloe smiled, procuring the ring Young had given her. “Will you marry me?”

Scott let out a laugh. “Of course!” he grinned.

The crowd erupted with cheers as Chloe pushed the ring onto his finger and the two embraced. Young couldn’t help smiling at the sight, and he looked around the room to see many other happy expressions. It was good to see everyone so relaxed and-

Then he caught Rush’s eye and the man was staring at him with a blank expression. Young held the gaze for a moment before turning away and grabbing their drinks. He kept his gaze trained on everyone but Rush as he walked towards him, unsure how the man was going to react. When he arrived and passed Rush his drink the scientist studied him.

“That’s your ring, isn’t it?” he asked.

“It’s Scott’s now,” Young answered.

“We’re…” Rush trailed off, before looking down into his drink, “This is happening, isn’t it?”

Young smiled, gently, “Nervous?”

Rush made a face, “No,” he answered with a scoff, downing his drink and proving himself a liar. 

He set it down on a table beside them and Young could tell his brain was going haywire with the new information. He wasn’t sure how to make Rush feel more comfortable with it but he guessed the scientist would rather he didn’t bring it up. He wasn’t given much time to dwell on it, either way, because then it was Eli’s voice attempting to calm the crowd down.

“Hey, hey!” he called, “We’re having speeches! _Speeches_ everyone, so shush!”

Young moved subtly so that he was shoulder to shoulder with Rush. Their hands brushed and Young felt Rush’s twitch at the touch, before the Colonel decided _fuck it_ and took his hand. After a moment Rush squeezed his gently in response, as if to say _‘this is fine’_ or _‘we’re okay’_.

TJ stepped out from her hiding spot behind Chloe and Matt and smiled at the crowd, “Hello everyone,” she said after a moment, “You probably wouldn’t have met me but my name’s Patricia Armstrong.”

For a second Young frowned, before he remembered that Chloe’s mother was using the communication stones to appear at her daughter’s engagement party. It hadn’t taken as much effort to get Mrs Armstrong on board than Young would have thought. After he’d recounted Mr Armstrong’s sacrifice, hinted that the crew needed a morale boost, and explained TJ’s need to pass on their newly discovered ALS cure to Earth scientists, it had been a breeze. TJ hadn’t minded so much that she’d miss the engagement party but she’d demanded that she be present for the wedding.

“I’m the mother of Chloe and, soon to be mother-in-law to this wonderful young man,” she gestured to Scott, who smiled in response. There were some cheers, mostly from Greer. “I know this has been very hard on you all, and those back home, but I can’t help thanking the stars that some good has come of it,” she explained. “Chloe and Matt would not have found each other if not for this accidental expedition and that makes this…this all a little easier…” she trailed off getting teary, “And I couldn’t be happier for her.”

Chloe pulled her mother into a hug and the crowd cheered, though it was more somber than last time. After a moment of silence, Eli stepped in and produced a wad of paper from his pocket. He unfolded it and began to read. 

“I don’t think there’s anyone on this ship who doesn’t love both Chloe and Matt. Of course not as much as they love each other, but still, pretty damn much. They’ve stuck together, through some pretty difficult times,” Eli didn’t say it but everyone knew he meant the Nakai incident, “and their relationship has come out the other side completely intact, if not stronger for it.”

Eli turned to the couple and smiled, “Chloe, you’re my best friend, and I promise I’ll always be there for you, especially if he ends up being an idiot and leaves you - not that, that will happen!” Eli quickly amended, “I’m just saying that I’ll always be there for you. I’m not going anywhere, that yeah…you’ve got me…um…” Eli cleared his throat, “Anyway, Matt! You’re a great guy, and you guys suit each other so well. I know you’d never do anything on purpose to hurt Chloe but…I’m watching you.”

Everyone laughed, including Chloe and Scott.

“I’m- I’m joking,” Eli backtracked a little, even though it was obvious that the room knew it, “But yeah I’m just so happy that you both found each other and-”

Greer wrapped an arm around Eli, giving everyone an apologetic smile, “Hey we want to leave some time for dancing, don’t we kid?” he laughed.

Eli blinked, “Ah yeah, right…sorry! I got a little carried away there with the speech. Anyway, um, congratulations and all. Greer?”

Greer smiled, and clapped his hands together, “Well now,” he began, “All I have to say about these guys are: one, I called it, and two, they’re so damn sweet it makes me sick.” 

The crowd erupted into laughter. 

“Don’t y’all agree?” Greer called.

There were cheers, and Eli waited for a moment to see if that was all Greer had wanted to say. After a while, when Greer had turned away, indicating that he had indeed finished Eli huffed. From his raised eyebrow and slight frown it was obvious that he was offended with how short, and ill-worded Greer’s speech had been. Young smiled a little at the sight.

“Uh Matt, Chloe do you have anything to add?” Eli asked.

“We hope you all enjoy yourselves tonight,” Chloe said. 

“Now let’s drink and party!” Matt exclaimed with a grin.

Eli turned the music up again using his hand-held monitor and Young turned to smile at Rush who was watching him with a calm, collected expression. He looked just a little too smug and Young wasn’t quite sure why. He’d probably come to some dastardly conclusion about something or rather and Young couldn’t have that now, could he?

“Would you care to dance?” Young asked him with a smirk, knowing it would throw Rush.

Rush’s eyes widened, “Uh no…I don’t dance.”

“I beg to differ.”

“I was drunk.”

“You said you weren’t _that_ drunk.”

“I said I wasn’t drunk enough.”

“You still danced.”

“I tried,” Rush grimaced, “and failed.”

“Come on,” Young begged, “There’s nothing to worry about. No one is going to judge.”

Rush scoffed, “Everyone is going to judge, and you know it.”

“Come on, Rush, people think we’re fighting.”

Rush rolled his eyes, “You’re a damn _bastard_ you know that,” he answered, stepping forwards.

Young laughed and wanted to point out how easily it had been to sway Rush but he’d thought he better hold his tongue or the man might change his mind. They moved through the dancing crowd until they found a little more open space. 

“This is one of those times I wished I had a damn cigarette.”

Rush looked around unsurely and hesitantly, and Young was about to ask if he was okay when _“Don't Stop Me Now”_ by Queen began.

Young hooked an arm around Rush’s waist and drew him close with a grin.

Rush gave him a look, “People are staring.”

Young shrugged, “Let them,” he smirked, before squinting, “And I thought you said you didn’t care?” he asked as they began to sway.

“I don’t,” Rush answered.

“Then ignore them, Genius.”

Rush shook his head, “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”

“Don’t stop me now,” Young winked, as the music began to pick up.

The crowd erupted around them and Rush’s eyes widened momentarily, a little in surprise, before he shook his head and shot death glares at Young in response, as if to say: _‘mention that and you’re dead.’_ But Young didn’t miss the way his lips curled into a smile barely a moment later as he moved with Young and the crowd to the music. Rush ended up watching him with amusement as Young began singing the lyrics at the top of his lungs, probably terribly but who could tell? The music was gloriously loud.

It was invigorating, and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d danced like this, fast, full of energy, ridiculous and without a care in the fucking world. It was silly but he felt like a teenager again. He grinned at Rush and the scientist smirked as he watched him. Both of them were already panting, their hot, ragged breath falling on one another’s face. Rush’s lips were parted, as he watched him nervously and Young was a little turned on by that if he was to be fairly honest. He held Rush close and watched his lips, and felt the heat radiating off of him, and when the song slowed to a halt Young wrapped an arm around his waist, clutching the fabric there and feeling his hot skin below. Then he cupped his face and pressed his lips to his, and ran a hand through his hair and held him there until the world disappeared, and nothing else mattered at all.

When they did eventually part Young could tell people were watching them. He didn’t dare look away from Rush’s face, though. Rush looked happy, and God _he’d_ managed to make that happen and that couldn’t be ruined by any goddamn rumour or lie or stare.

“Want to get out of here?”

Rush swallowed, “Thought you’d never ask.”

They headed out through the crowd and Young refrained from looking anyone in the eye directly until he got to the doorway and saw Scott, who was watching him a little unsteadily. 

Rush stepped around him with a cheerful, “Lieutenant,” and Scott looked completely lost for words.

Scott clenched his jaw before turning back to Young, “Um…Sir, about…I’m sorry…I didn’t realise…” he trailed off.

Young shrugged, “You’re forgiven,” he answered, “Go enjoy yourself.”

Scott nodded, “Thank you, sir. Uh you too.”

“I will,” Young smirked, turning to leave, but not before catching the sudden wide-eyed expression on Scott’s face.

They’d barely made it around the corner before Rush threw Young up against a wall.

“Didn’t know voyeurism was a kink of yours,” Young huffed, as Rush’s lips descended on his neck to bite and nip.

“It’s not,” Rush growled. “It’s your damn, stupid face, and your stupid smile, and your stupid hands, and your stupid lips, and your stupid, damnable loyalty and guilt. I _hate_ every, damn, thing about you that I’ve come to-” he trailed off, and Young felt his movements stutter a little.

Young dug his hands into Rush’s hair and before the scientist could disappear into his shell he laughed, lightening the mood, “Planting ‘stupid’ or ‘damn’ before every word doesn’t make it any less sweet, you know?” he mocked.

“You’re a _fucking_ bastard,” was Rush’s response and then his hands were curling fists into his clothing and he was pressing his lips to Young’s.

Young moaned into the kiss, feeling heat travel to his groin as Rush pressed the full length of his body against him.

“God-” Young huffed, “Genius, we need to get-” he pushed Rush away a little, just to give himself enough room to speak, though it was still a struggle, “Somewhere…more private.”

Rush’s eyes glinted and he practically spun on the spot to lead Young down the hall by the front of his shirt. Young laughed, and picked up his pace to match the Scientist’s determined strides.

~ RUSH ~

Rush punched the door controls as soon as they were in the room. Young spun him on the spot and pressed him up against the wall. He moaned into the biting kiss that Young awarded him, and felt the Colonel’s straining erection against his thigh. His was just as hard. _Fuck,_ Young was going to take him on the bed and make him scream but…but that isn’t what he wanted. Not this time.

“No, no, no,” Rush growled, “Stop.”

Young did, and stepped back immediately, with a worried frown, “What is it?”

Rush took that moment to grab fistfuls of Young’s clothing and spin him on the spot to smack him up against the wall.

“You’re the one driving me insane, so you’re the one whose going to get it.”

Young laughed.

“What?” Rush demanded.

“I distract you,” Young answered, all too pleased.

“I hate you, you know?” Rush snapped, before descending on Young’s neck to ravish it with biting kisses.

“Yeah, yeah,” Young answered, breathlessly, eyes fluttering, “and you’re a lot of work.”

“I’ll give you a lot of work,” Rush growled, unzipping Young’s jacket, and shoving it off his shoulders before pulling his shirt over his head.

Young tried to do the same for Rush but the Scientist grabbed his hands and pressed his arms back against the wall on either side of him. Young raised an eyebrow, before Rush’s lips were back on his neck, tongue trailing across his collarbone, teeth grazing along his chest. Rush gave sucking kisses to his abdomen, and across his hipbones as he knelt. Then he reached Young’s cargo pants, and Young tried to help him undo them but Rush pushed his hands away, and pressed a hand on his abdomen, pushing him back against the wall as he worked open the Colonel’s zip. He tugged his cargo pants down, and then his underwear, and watched Young from between the folds of his hair.

“Do you know how distracting you are?” Rush growled.

Young’s mouth was hanging open as he stared at Rush, where the Scientist was knelt between his legs. Then he bit his bottom lip, and Rush couldn’t help smirking at the sight, before he pressed his lips to the base of Young’s cock, eliciting a desperate moan from the man. He had to hold his hips in place as Young tried and failed not to buck up into Rush’s touch.

“ _Shit!_ ” Young shuddered.

“Ever since you gave me that damn thumb-drive I’ve not been able to stop thinking about you,” Rush continued, as if unphased by the cry; although, his cock was hard, and aching between his legs, and he felt it twitch in response to every gasp or shudder or moan that Young let out.

“I’ve wanted to be with you ever second, wanted to see you smile.” Rush pressed a biting kiss to Young’s hipbone. “And when…” he trailed off for a moment, before looking Young in the eye, “I realised I need you by my side.”

Young looked a little interested, which was a feat in itself considering how distractingly horny he looked with his disheveled hair and red cheeks and gasping, open mouth. Then just to throw him off balance again, Rush licked the length of Young’s cock, earning him a desperate cry.

“ _Nick._ Please, I need- God, _Nick._ ”

Rush shuddered at the sound of Young’s wrecked voice. Then he encircled a hand around Young’s cock and brought it to his mouth, taking a long quick suck, before withdrawing altogether. Young let out a gasping moan, before hissing an intake of breath and letting it out with a shudder. Rush stroked Young’s cock slowly and teasingly with his hand. Young shuddered, and tried to buck up into Rush’s hold on him.

“And all I want to do is make you scream my name,” and with that he closed his mouth around Young’s cock and sucked, before pumping it in his mouth.

Young’s breath became erratic and blissful noises escaped his quivering lips, making Rush’s dick twitch in his pants. He was going to come just watching Young if he wasn’t careful. He hummed and held Young’s hips in place as they bucked once more, and then Young began trying to speak.

Rush picked up the pace, turning those syllables to gibberish, until Young cried out as he came, managing a spluttering attempt at Rush’s name. Rush swallowed, watching Young as he tried to get a hold of himself. He looked utterly gorgeous, skin glistening with perspiration, hair standing on end where Rush had gripped it tight and pulled, his lips were puckered and the marks Rush had left on his neck were already beginning to bruise. Rush grinned, before wiping a hand across his mouth and standing to capture Young’s breathless lips in his own.

“You’re goddamn beautiful,” Rush whispered.

Young moaned into the kiss, cupping Rush’s face, and curling a hand around into his long hair, pulling it back from his face. Young gently turned them about, and began kissing Rush with more concentration, taking his time, and slipping his tongue in between his lips. Rush hummed contentedly into the tender kiss, and he was only a little surprised that he enjoyed this as much as he did the rougher stuff he’d done with Young.

He’d already guessed it, but he knew he was falling for the man. The little flip his stomach did at the idea wasn't enough to awaken a crippling anxiety in him, though. It was pleasant and exciting, and even though he knew he’d worry later on about what it was that came with this kind of intimacy; in this moment he was content to just let himself go and relax into Young’s touch.

Young kissed his lips, and then his neck, just below his ear, and sucked at the sensitive area, before pulling at Rush’s tops, which he shed so that Young could press his lips to his collarbone. He trailed soft nips along it, and down his chest as he began to unbuckle Rush’s belt. He felt Young smile into his shoulder, before giving the flesh there a soft bite, making him shudder. Then Young pulled him out of his jeans and began pumping; slowly at first, and the heavy excitement in his crotch began to build to the point Rush lost all ability to think, and only felt, and knew Young’s touch. He leant into his shoulder, and gripped him tight as his legs began to shake and indecent sounds were ripped from his throat.

Young spoke to him, muttering his name amongst other things that were lost to Rush. He gripped his hair tight as he pumped him to completion, and Rush came with a cry, and Young held him up as he shuddered and almost collapsed. Then his lips were on his neck, kissing him gently and waiting for him to return, and when Rush opened his eyes the first thing he saw was Young’s smile.

The sight caught him off balance and all the emotions he’d felt for the man and because of the man came bubbling to the surface in a heavy, desperate need to tell him how he felt.

“I-” Rush tried, and then clenched his jaw in frustration as anxiety bubbled up in his throat. He wanted so desperately to tell Young but didn’t know how.

But Young saw his frustration, and smiled, pushing his hair away from his face, before cupping his cheek. “I know, Genius,” he said, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I love you,” he said, pulling him into an embrace.

Rush leant against his shoulder, and wondered how Young could read him so easily, and then he found himself smiling; he wouldn’t have it any other way. He knew he’d say it one day, probably when he, himself, least expect it…but for now Young was letting him take his time, like he had all these months. He knew Young was far too accommodating but he couldn’t help loving him for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's a long chapter, which hopefully makes up for my slightly-longer-than-expected absence. This took far longer than it had to. Sorry! Please leave a comment and tell me what you think! 
> 
> I also made a vid based off this fic set after chapter 7, which can be viewed [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oN0-5DFd4I). I kind of started it when I began having difficulty on this chapter so hopefully this also makes up for the wait. It was going to have more scenes from the actual fic but I wanted to make it so that people who hadn't read the fic could still enjoy the video so it's a little more vague than I would have liked. Anyway, I hope you enjoy that too!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"In the last couple of weeks I've barely even seen him!”_
> 
> _“Whatever it is, it’s really troubling him,” TJ frowned, “Have you asked him about it?”_
> 
> _“Of course I have…” Young trailed off, before rubbing a hand across his face. “TJ, what if he’s up to something?”_

~ YOUNG ~

Young and Rush’s relationship became public knowledge onboard Destiny the night of Chloe and Scott’s engagement party. The day afterwards Young got a longer apology from Scott; and Greer, who had accompanied him, gave a similar but shorter apology; he still didn’t sound completely convinced that Young wasn't using Rush.

Eli was surprisingly enthusiastic about the relationship, and Young supposed that might be due to the fact that Rush was less difficult to work with now that he had someone. Plus Eli already knew what to expect considering he’d been working with Rush’s counterpart...so maybe it wasn’t that surprising. Chloe was just as enthusiastic and was quick to defend their relationship if any crew-members began complaining about it. Wray was just as quick to defend them. There was some trouble from a few of the military officers but with the help of Wray, and the bridge crew, it was dealt with.

Four years later Rush and Young were still a couple, or at least it had been four years since they’d started this unlabelled “whatever this is” that eventually became known as their “relationship”. Rush took some time to warm up to the label of "couple", but after the SGC found out he adopted it with determination. He’d been scared, at first; Young could understood that. But when the SGC had belittled their relationship in front of them, Rush had jumped to defend it with a confidence and conviction he had concerning Destiny's mission. It had been sweet, really.

There were still troubling comments made during SGC conferences but General O’Neill could deal with them, and often made a point of locking those bad-mouthed delegates in the bathroom for a good couple of hours until they could act like proper adults. Technically, Rush and Young weren’t doing anything wrong. Rush was a civilian after-all so Homeworld Command couldn’t preach relationship regulations at him. Although, it could be argued - and was - that Young was still his commanding officer. Those who knew Rush, though, saw the immediate changes in Rush’s personality and realised that to break the two of them up would be a mistake.

They weren't the only Military-Civilian couple on Destiny, either, obviously. Chloe and Scott were married within a year of their engagement, and were still one of the happiest couples aboard Destiny. Chloe began to attend a special course through College, which she took with the help of the Communication Stones, and which was modelled to suit her Destiny schedule. Chloe became a permanent member of the science team.

Chloe and Scott’s marriage also sparked a series of engagements, among which was Greer and Park, who while engaged, continue to be in no rush to marry. Varro and TJ, on the other hand, practically skipped the engagement and got married privately with only close friends attending. TJ still showed no signs of ALS, and the Earth tests on other victims of the illness, who had been treated with the Novus cure, were showing positive results. It was wonderful news for not only Varro and TJ but the entire crew. The couple were also expecting a baby.

A lot had happened over the years. The SGC and Pentagon had attempted to push them into dialling Earth countless times but they had tried only a couple on the grounds that the rest were unsafe. Though, they still tried to get home, most of the crew had resigned themselves to living the rest of their lives on Destiny. As a result crew efficiency tripled.

Eli, Rush and the Science Team continued to work on a means of retrieving Ginn and Dr Amanda Perry from the Destiny program they were stuck in but there had been little progress over the years. Eli remained single, except for a short period in which he dated Corporal Barnes. The two split up after a couple of months.

Rush and Young still fought, but the fighting was nothing like it used to be. There weren’t as many bruises or bloodied noses or shouting in front of other crew members, and most of the time their arguments didn’t last too long. Instead they became known as the ultimate dynamic duo, which considering their past was ironic, to say the least. During battles they were inseparable, quick to listen and act, and terrifyingly resilient. Eli dubbed them the real-life Mr and Mr Smith, though not many got the reference.

Although, lately, much to Young’s distress, Rush had grown secretive again; more secretive than he’d been in a long while, and it frightened Young. He didn’t know what had caused it; if it had been him, or something someone else had said, or if Rush was just reverting to his old habits. Either way, he didn’t like it. Since their relationship had started they hadn’t kept any secrets from one another. Sure, it was still difficult to get the facts from Rush now and then but he never hid anything intentionally, anymore; not until just recently.

He went to TJ as soon as he realised something was wrong. 

“He’s been disappearing to God only knows where,” he explained, “refusing to answer his radio, staying up all night, and never coming to bed. Tell me I’m not seeing things.”

TJ gave him a thoughtful look before sighing, “You’re not,” she said. “A couple of times he’s snapped at me. It’s not like him…I mean…not like him, nowadays.”

Young nodded, “Exactly. In the last couple of weeks I've barely even seen him!”

“Whatever it is, it’s really troubling him,” TJ frowned, “Have you asked him about it?”

“Of course I have…” Young trailed off, before rubbing a hand across his face. “TJ, what if he’s up to something?”

He didn’t want to have to ask but above all else, above being Rush’ partner, he was his commanding officer, and it was his job to discover whether or not Rush’ “secret project” threatened the crew.

TJ shook her head, “No, he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t threaten your relationship like that. Whatever it is he needs some space. He loves you too much to do anything like that again.” She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and smiled at him, reassuringly, “You’re worrying about nothing, Everett, honestly.”

Young grimaced, unconvinced. “Yeah,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair.

He left the Infirmary with TJ’s best wishes and decided it was best to just get on with his day and wait it out. Worst comes to worst Rush did something stupid and he’d deal with it. But in the end his nerves got the better of him and he ended up in the Control Interface Room where lo and behold Rush wasn’t there.

Eli was, though.

“Hey, Eli have you seen Rush?”

The young man looked up from his monitor and shook his head, “Nah, he never came to his shift. I assumed you had him working on something else.”

Young grimaced, “No…I didn’t.”

Eli shrugged, “He’s probably doing something important.”

Young stepped over to his console, “Eli, have you noticed him acting…oddly at all?”

Eli looked up and frowned, “A little. I mean, he’s Rush…so everything’s odd but…you mean specifically. Um, yeah I guess.”

Young sighed, “Do you think you could…watch him for a bit?”

“Sure,” Eli nodded.

Young placed a hand on the console he was working on, “No. I mean can you _watch_ him.”

“ _What_?” Eli grimaced.

“Just keep an eye on him.”

“You mean…with a kino?” Eli asked. “I thought you guys didn’t do that anymore.”

Young nodded, “Yes, but he’s been acting odd lately and I just want to know he’s okay.”

“Couldn’t you just ask him?”

“I’ve tried.”

Eli squinted, before studying him closely, “You think he’s up to something, don’t you?”

“I think it’s a possibility.”

Eli shook his head, “Rush wouldn’t do that!”

Young gave him an exasperated look.

“Fine!” Eli snapped. “I’ll do it but I would just like to point out that I do not support this, and think it’s going to backfire,” he huffed, disapprovingly.

A week later Young discovered that Eli was right.

He was in the command chair on the bridge when Rush found him. "I need to speak to you in private.” He looked absolutely livid. “Quarters. Now,” he hissed, before leaving.

Young stared, taken aback by the harsh tone. _Shit._ He looked about the bridge to see everyone trying and failing to pretend they hadn’t just seen that. Then he gestured to Scott to take over.

“Trouble in paradise, Sir?”

“Something like that,” Young frowned. “Radio me, if I’m needed.”

“Sure, thing,” Scott, answered. Then he smiled, “I’m sure it’s nothing,” he reassured.

Young didn’t answer, and when he reached the corridor Rush was nowhere in sight. He clenched his teeth. That wasn’t a good sign. He hadn’t even waited for him. As Young walked he wondered if Rush had discovered what he was doing. As soon as Young entered their quarters Rush began glaring daggers at him.

“Eli tells me you have me under surveillance again,” he growled, watching Young suspiciously.

He didn’t answer. He didn’t need to.

“You _fucking_ do, don’t you?” he demanded, shaking his head in disbelief.

Young sighed, “Well I wouldn't have to, Nick, if you just told me what was going on,” he answered, “I thought we'd gotten passed this.”

“You always have to-” Rush began, before cutting off and throwing his arms up in frustration. “Nothing’s going on!”

Young couldn’t believe this. Not only was Rush going behind his back again. He was denying it! Something must have happened between them. He must have done something to deserve this.

“You’ve been staying out late, and disappearing to God only knows where,” Young pointed out. “I don't know what you've gotten yourself into or what I’ve done…but,” he frowned, “I thought we trusted one another. I thought we talked things out. What changed?”

“Nothing’s changed,” Rush maintained, “Nothing’s going on!”

“Clearly something’s going on, Rush.”

“Why do you always use my last name when you’re angry with me?”

Young ignored the question and crossed his arms. “Tell me what you’re up to,” he ordered.

Rush scoffed, “No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I shouldn’t have to!” he yelled.

“ _Rush._ ”

“Fine!” Rush growled, “You want to know what I was doing?” He buried his hand into his jean pocket, before retrieving a small object. “There ya go!” he shouted, throwing it at Young.

It hit his chest, and then bounced onto the floor with a quiet clink.

Young stared at it in confusion before picking it up from the floor, “Nick?” he asked, hesitantly.

“What!?” Rush snapped.

“This is…” a ring. It was made of wood but had obviously been smoothed and detailed, before being finished off with some kind of varnish. “You made this…?”

“Yes,” Rush answered. He seemed to have calmed down a little, and was watching Young with an expression that was a little hurt, and a little worried.

Young felt at a loss for words. Rush hadn’t been working behind his back for some nefarious reason he’d been making a ring… _Shit_. He’d been…? 

“Were…you…?”

“I was going to!” Rush snapped, “Don’t know if I quite thought that decision through thoroughly enough, though.”

“Nick?” Young stood up, feeling a little sick to the stomach at the realisation that there had been nothing to worry about. “I’m-I’m sorry…”

“As you should be!”

He hesitated, “Uh did you want…?” he trailed off.

Rush rolled his eyes, before sighing, “Oh, give it here, then…” 

Young held it out and Rush took it before turning away to take a deep breath, and run a hand through his hair. Then he turned back to Young and got down on one knee.

“Would you, _you bloody, frustrating idiot,_ ” he seethed, before his tone took on a calm, collected nature, “please marry me?”

An uncontrollable grin spread out across Young’s face as he looked down at Rush, holding the ring out. His expression was determined, and a little cocky. Young wondered how Rush would have proposed had he not found out this way. It would probably have been something romantic. As much as Rush liked to make people think otherwise, he was a romantic at heart.

Rush raised an eyebrow, “You know when I said I had problems with my knee…”

“Yes, of course, Genius, of course!” Young laughed, pulling Rush up and embracing him.

“I hate you, you know?” Rush mumbled into his shoulder.

“No, you don’t.”

“No…” Rush sighed, pulling back to look at him, “No I don’t.”

Young leant forward and kissed Rush, gently, running a hand through his hair and gripping it tight, before pulling him forwards until their bodies were pressed together.

“I’m sorry I didn’t trust you,” Young whispered against his neck, and in-between kisses. “It won’t happen again.”

Rush ‘hmm’ed into the kisses, his anger obviously already dissipated. 

Young took a hold of Rush’s top and began pulling it up when Rush gave a soft laugh, “I thought you were in the midst of a shift?”

“Well,” Young shrugged, “No one is going to get mad at us for engaging in post-engagement sex.”   


“I think they’ll be mad if we tell them that’s what we were doing,” Rush laughed.

Young sighed, “Fine…well…” he trailed off, “Fuck ‘em. I told them to contact me if something happened. Now get undressed.”

Rush laughed, before doing as he was ordered, “Any other commands, Colonel?”

Young smirked, “Get on the bed.”

Rush did as he was told, and watched from where his head lay on the pillow, as Young stripped.

“Turn over onto your stomach,” Young ordered, climbing onto the bed after him.

Young leant forwards and pressed a soft kiss to the base of Rush’s neck as he ran a hand through his hair. Then he pressed another kiss to his shoulder blade, the middle of his back, before continuing down his spine. He ran his fingers over Rush’s skin, and revelled in the contented sighs the man gave in response. Young had done this so many times that he was beginning to know exactly where every freckle or mole or blemish or scar decorated the Scientist’s back. He loved doing this, running his hands across Rush’s skin, and just feeling Rush underneath him. It was only partly sexual; the rest was just a calming acknowledgement that Rush was here, with him, and that he was all his, and that he could do this to Rush.

He rolled off him, and went to pull Rush into a kiss when the man suddenly climbed atop him before he could.

“Hey!” Young laughed.

“Too slow,” Rush smirked, capturing his lips in a biting kiss that cut off any complaints Young might have had.

Young smiled into the kiss, gripping Rush’s hair tight and pulling it back from his face, whilst running circles across his cheeks with his thumbs. He never thought he’d ever feel this way but in all the time he’d spent on Destiny he finally didn’t mind it anymore. He knew he could live the rest of his life out in the middle of nowhere, so long as it was by Rush’s side. It didn’t matter if they were fighting for their lives almost every day. It didn’t matter if they remained on Destiny or eventually settled on some planet somewhere. It didn’t matter if they were struggling to survive. 

Rush began biting Young’s neck, and he gripped him tight, raking his nails gently over Rush’s back. He moaned into the sharp kisses and grinned, wanting nothing more than to be where he was, with his arms around Rush, forever. He wanted to be wherever his Scientist was, and Rush wasn’t leaving Destiny any time soon so he wouldn’t either. The home is where the heart is after all.

Rush sat up, and Young smiled up at him, before brushing his hair out of his face. Rush raised an eyebrow, looking disheveled and pleased with himself. It made Young laugh.

“I love you so damn much,” he said with a smile.

Rush licked his lips and looked away for a moment, “Yeah…you too…” he answered, before meeting Young’s gaze and smiling back. “I love you, too, Everett.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is, the end. 
> 
> I really enjoyed writing this fic and hope you all enjoyed reading it too! If you're interested I made a video based off this story; set after ch7, which can be viewed on Youtube [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oN0-5DFd4I).
> 
> For this chapter I wasn’t sure if a time-skip would be too disruptive or not but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to write this engagement scene I had in mind. I’m pretty pleased with how it worked out, and I hope you liked it too.
> 
> Regarding the sequel/spin off set in the AU, that I said I might write: I don’t think it’s going to happen. With university coming up and a bunch of new ideas demanding to be written, I probably won’t get around to it. At least not any time soon. There will be more Rush/Young fics, though, I assure you!
> 
> Thank you all for the lovely comments you've left me! It was great to hear from you all and to see your opinions and theories about what was going to happen, and what you thought about what I did end up writing. Thanks so much!


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